Girls, is it creepy if I DM you after seeing you on a dating app?

[samael_kmarty]

Just curious.
I don't know if I should do that.

[Anonymous]

IMHO you should never message ANY woman on a dating app first. There's a good reason men do the approaching IRL. There is no mystery why a woman ia on a dating app. IRL you approach a woman because she piques your interest in some way. She may not be looking to date ANYONE. But online she's definitely looking to date right? You'd think, but you would be WRONG. And that is the point. If she's not there to date what does that say about her and why would you want to message her?

The rules of online dating are inverse to RL dating. I wished more guys understood that. If she's interested SHE WILL message you. That i promise you.

[samael_kmarty]

Oh okay so dating apps aren't for me then😅.
I never got a text or a like.
It's been like 8 months didn't get a like or a text lol I am not attractive Enough to even get a chance.

[Opinion Owner]

No man. I mean i can understand if you want to quit. It was slow going for me to begin with. And i'm not going to lie to you it will ALWAYS be an uphill climb. But that because 85% (not an exaggeration) of the women using online dating have no interest in dating ANY MAN (at least not not any man except for the unicorn they will NEVER find on a dating app). So in simple terms once you realize this you can "play the game" accordingly. If out of 100 women only 15 are open to dating. An at best you'll be attracted to 8 of them. And at best 1 MAYBE 2 of them will be attracted to you. Now you know your true odds. 1 or 2 women out of a 100. And don't take that personal. That is MOST men. It's not a slight on you. But it shows you that you're likely to fail repeatedly through NO FAULT of your own. But you can improve your odds. And the BEST way is by knowing what OPTIMIZES your dating profile.
Like i say, if you consider 1 to 2 women out of 100 to not be worth it than quit if you like. But instead i would say you change your approach to online dating. Look at it less as something you're trying to accomplish and view it more as free entertainment (i say free because no guy should use a pay site). Using a pay site does NOT improve your odds one iota. The biggest determinant is visibility.

[senor_bacon]

You can't make an omelette without cracking eggs.

The sooner you find out, the sooner you can move on.

You may not agree, but if you're attractive it's not creepy. If you're not, then it is.

I forget where, someone on YouTube or something did a social experiment with this. They had guys of different attractiveness say the exact same line.

Attractive = welcome
Not attractive = creepy

[samael_kmarty]

I have seen that.
It's true most of the time. But I am only asking if it's a friend and you have there contact

[senor_bacon]

Ok
Probably the woman wondering why didn't you find out sooner if you were interested?

Also context matters, it can be easily taken the wrong way.

If you're interested, flirt. If she's caught off guard or whatever, flirt a second time. Not heavy obvious flirt.

Her response is the answer.

[samael_kmarty]

Well I can't assume that everyone is looking for a relationship.
With that I enjoyed my time with them, in a couple of events, but I don't want to ruin the events. I can't ask around if they are single. Or anything like that cause I can't handle the awkwardness after that.
And I don't want to be the guy who asks out each and every girl.

[samael_kmarty]

All in all I know if I can see their profile, that means they also can see my profile.
And if they can see my profile they have already discarded me in the bin😅.
And so I don't want to get rejected as well.

[senor_bacon]

So you're trying to gather information without getting embarrassed.

Flirt direct.

Or some other tactic that fits criteria.

Also, perhaps if you feel that social circle is dry, search elsewhere.

Personally I like approaching random in public. It's practice, gauge reactions, observe, remember.
You can grow as a person and learn a lot about girls.

Avoiding embarrassment is another thing. You can learn to not take it personal and parse the information.

[Anonymous]

That's what dating apps are for. As long as you're polite and respectful there should be no problem with it, and go away if she says she's not interested.

[HollyK21]

Is there a reason you can’t try matching with her through the dating app first?

[samael_kmarty]

That never happens 😅

[samael_kmarty]

I never got a like TBH

[Just_Ken]

Only if you attractive.

Best way to get a girl is

1. Be Handsome

2. Be attractive

3. Don't be unattractive

[samael_kmarty]

What if you are good looking

[samael_kmarty]

Not good looking. I am ugly , I have been told straight to my face 2 times by 2 different women who Don't lie.

[Anonymous]

Contact them on the app, but only after you’ve matched with them