i have been seeing a guy for over a year ... exclusively for 3 months. he practically lives at my house, at least he has slept there every single night for the past 3 months! He is younger than me and I have 2 kids. All is harmonious. I am not really asking for any long term commitment, but he often says, "everything is great as long as we take things one day at a time." Is he really and truly trying to be cautious and very careful about his decisions or is he just stringing me along until something better potentially comes along ?
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he claims that every thing that I have is everything that he wants ... he wants kids, he can't wait to be a dad, he is great with mine! he has even gone so far to say that if he made a commitment to me, that my kids would deserve to have his last name!
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He's stringing you along until something better arrives. I would use that same line if I was in his situation. But I also would not have moved into your house. The kids thing is always a turn off for me, no offense. It just means that it will be more difficult to find time to hang out and do the things you wanna do. Not to mention, they're not his kids. As a man, I don't particularly want kids from some other dude running around. At least not while I'm in my mid-20s. If I was like 35ish, it probably wouldn't bother me as much. Kids are equated to a bigger commitment, which is something most guys don't want. Commitments are always scary, and he's probably worried about getting locked into something with you that he doesn't ultimately want. My guess is that he sees this as a fun fling and nothing more, especially since he's younger. Guys for the most part want a younger wife, not an older one. Hope that helps!
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But they are not his own kids...I would personally have a problem with that. I just can't see myself fathering someone else's kids and falling into it wholeheartedly. The key word there is "IF," don't get too excited about that. I'm pretty skeptical about the situation for your sake. Don't get too attached. I know because I have been seeing a couple girls that are 27 and 28, both have 2 kids, and I have no interest in getting serious with either of them, even though they're both gorgeous. The kids, age factor, and fact that they're both bartenders/waitresses does not appeal to me as them being marriage material. One of them hints at it a little bit, and I just kinda laugh it off.
Trust your judgement. From what you know of him is he generally cautious about his decisions?