Do you think the feelings developed in online relationships are more intense than real life ones?

[Anonymous]

Recent web article I saw said that the feelings developed between people engaged in online/cyber relationships are typically more intense and heart-felt than real life ones of the same length of time because, due to restrictions in physical and verbal cues, you both end up sharing more of yourself in a shorter period of time and this builds a stronger emotional bond.

Do you agree that's true? That love can really develop between people who have never met before? Or is it just infatuation and/or idealism where the feelings go away much faster than they would after a RL breakup?

Online relationship feelings are more intense

Online relationship feelings are less intense

[HotPepper302]

Feelings can build really quickly in online relationships, because communication is often easier/more regular. That being said, an online relationship can only go so far. Eventually, for a relationship to work out, two people have to start growing together in person. So basically, in the beginning of a relationship, feelings are often more intense when the relationship is online, BUT the deepest feelings, the shared memories, experiences, glances, touches, etc. that help to maintain a relationship and allow for it to grow past a certain point, are all things that have to happen in person at some point or another. Also, at the end of the road, if you've been dating someone online for a year, vs. someone in person for a year, it'll be easier to get over the online relationship than the in-person one. As such, I voted B. Online relationship feelings are less intense, because when a relationship is online, you don't get the entire package, and you're not getting the full experience -- the real deal (I'm not saying that online relationships aren't "real;" I'm just saying that they don't always translate well into real life, because they allow for the relationship to be highly idealistic, as many aspects of the relationship are left to the imagination).

[Anonymous]

It think it is true. You are kind of forced to open up more, because of the lack of body language that you can use to express words of shallow nature. It is kind of funny, though. I have friends that I have known longer in real life that cannot tell how I am feeling; based on the connotation of the words that I use, but friends that I have know online for like only 2 years can sense that I am upset. He even sent me the song "no woman no cry" by Bob Marley which happens to be my favorite song... I had never said that I even like reggae to him lol.

[Asker]

Yes I find that fascinating too. Some times people I've chatted to for a long time online can just sense something is wrong even if all I typed was a sentence to two. I think the article said you become more attuned to the speed of response from that particular person, the words they use so any deviation from the norm is immediately detected whereas in real life, even your best friends might not realize that you're upset or might mistake it for something else.

[Anonymous]

I think the feelings developed are often more intense, but I also think that it is an infatuation and idealism of the individual. Love can develop, sure, but not from merely talking with someone for a few weeks or months...that is infatuation and slight obsession. The word "love" is overused way too often, in my opinion, but that's a whole 'nother story.

[Quantumus]

I've had both online and in-person relationships, and my current one is a relationship that spawned from knowing each-other online, and flourished in-person. I can attest to the fact that at least for some people, the inability to have direct physical contact forces you to actually TALK more, and as a result you tend to learn about the other person much more quickly than you would in-person. Also, if attraction is born out of online acquaintance, rather than in person, then there is no doubt that emotional and intellectual connection - those that I find to be some of the most imperative to the long-term success of romantic relationships - are firm, and that chemistry between the two people exists. For my current relationship, attraction was born online and we soon met up in-person afterward. I can say with a reasonable degree of certainty that I would not have cared what she truly looked like in-person; I would have found her just as attractive because I was already rooted in her emotional and intellectual appeal. The passion in this relationship began, and is continuing, far longer than in any relationship I've had in the past.

[JPorter]

Yeah, I think it is. I can definitely see where the author of that article is coming from, too. It's interesting, because without those non-verbal cues, and the only means of communication coming through something that takes a lot more thought and effort (writing instead of talking), you really do get a far more intense and far more focused perspective of someone, and you probably reveal a lot more about yourself too...or reveal a lot more lies about yourself.

Good question.

[guy532]

No not at all you can never really know someone unless you meet them and a lot of time people online just talk out of their ass and say things they really don't mean which means they show you a false image of themselves. In real life you have so many more cues to go on which makes it even more exciting.

[Jpalms56]

I've had both and it is quite simple why online relationships aren't as intense: no spark. That unexplainable feeling you get when you see someone or are with someone that drives you crazy is essential to a relationship. I mean although online relationships are built on things that are also very important to any relationship like strong communication. But you have strong communication with your best friend of the same sex, it doesn't mean you want to date them. No spark, no relationship.

[ixi10]

Definitely not. Those aren't even what I would call real feelings. those are artificial ones. it is impossible to know someone just by email or however you communicate online and you can't have feelings for someone you don't know

[Cantremember]

Hm, how did I meet my girlfriend then?

[ixi10]

I'm assuming you also spent time with her face to face. If not, then she's not a girlfriend, just a pen pal

[icarainbow2]

Well that doesn't mean feelings can't be real. I mean I would say there has to be real feelings in order for two people to want to meet.

[Asker]

I meant more in terms of feelings - not the labels you define them by, e.g. girlfriend, friend, lover, pen pal :)

[ixi10]

icarainbow2 -yes, I agree, but so many people call those feelings love and it's not. It's more like you feel you could maybe get to that stage, but for that to happen it has to be in person

QA - I can see why that might be if those people know each other in person and just due to circumstances can't be together for the time being. But if they met online and the entire "relationship" stays strictly online, I don't think it can be more intense

[toulouse]

I don't think feeling can be 'fake. what would that even mean. You can't prove a feeling-its not a fact , or a law, or an equation, or a theory. You either feel it or you dont. if you think you feel it, you do. No ones feelings are fake.

[Amorina]

My last boyfriend and I met online. I feel as if online feelings develop a lot faster and my be more intense but also fizzle out a lot quicker. We were compatible online but not as much in real life.

[Becky89]

I Think online relationships are very romantic, but that's just my opinion. It keeps it interesting lol. Not that it doesn't stay interesing for the real thing. Especially if you have super good chemistry lol. Both are great, I'm just saying that online relationships can be romantic too!

[miabeth2]

If you say that the two people are being completely honest with each other, then yes I believe that. It gives them more time to talk, share their feelings, etc. and not be able to worry about physical alone.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I think they are probably the same. But at least online it's likely more about personality which will be more lasting than physical.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak for other people, but for me this is true. I've had 4 relationships. Two started online and two started in real life. My relationships online progressed faster than the ones I had in real life and they were also longer lasting.

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes they can be more intense but I don't really trust those feelings. How do you know they aren't all lies? You know?

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Nothing beats the real thing.

[shumailkazimi]

less intense ...