Did I overplay my hand with her?

I met her while working (She was a waitress at a restaurant I started to work in, as a waiter too. We are both part-timers). We hit it off relatively well when we first met and I was attracted to her so I got her contact. I started to text her and she sounded a little cold in the beginning but eventually warmed up and we texted a lot. I asked her out for dinner and she said OK only if it's a friends thing. We continued to text without me sounding needy

So we met up and we had a great time. She really enjoyed herself and was showing signs of attraction (Like laughing at everything I say and kept the conversation going. I was the one who said we should get going because her parents were strict and I didn't want her to into trouble). Somewhere along the way I mentioned I didn't do something and she said we should add to our to-do list. I thought that was an indication that she really enjoys spending time with me and wanted more.

So after that night, I asked her about meeting again but she's busy with rehearsals (a play coming up for her), so I was like ":( a long time before we meet again." She just ended it with a "haha!" and went to sleep without saying goodnight.

Then slowly she seems to be avoiding making plans with me again. More like she's mostly not free (due to rehearsals) but she's not specially making time for me either. Sometimes her texts to me sound really enthusiastic but sometimes it just seems cold.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Texting is great for making last-minute plans and confirmations, but it stinks in the sense that we've grown so dependent on non-verbal communication. We're meant to interact with each other live, so this level of technology sort of fails us at some point.

    Texts are really for "On my way" or an urgent "Running late, be right there!" not for prolonged conversations. Then again, I'm from an older generation and have nephews your age who all text their gfs/wives/etc. Of course, they have the same complaint, and I have the same advice to give them.

    Try a bit more live conversation. Use her tone to determine her level of interest. If she's in front of you, watch her eyes. Is she distracted? Just try to get beyond the whole texting phase...

    • When we were out that night, I know that she wasn't distracted. In fact we had a great time together just talking. I called her for a chat earlier but I think she was little uncomfortable because I called her out of the blue. I admit she's not totally into me.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Go to her play and then try to make plans a week or so after when she isn't so busy

    • The play is gonna run for an entire month, means she's not gonna be free until end of May. I'm definitely going for it though.

What Guys Said 1

  • She told you at the start, that she didn't see you as boyfriend material when she agreed to go out just as friends. You never had a chance with her dude. You ignored her interest level in the beginning ...and focused on your own.

    • I don't disagree with this statement.

    • Good...just chalk this up as a good learning experience...forget about her, and move on to the next angel.