Did I accidentally hurt her feelings?

[Anonymous]

My crush rejected me for a guy she knew longer(understandable, but still sucks) and told me we could just be friends. I kinda ranted to one of her best friends about how being a friend would be painful and hurt too much.

Me and my crush were texting last night and here's how it went:

Her: "...(her best friend) said you didn't want to be friends anymore"

Me: (No response to text)

I decided to talk to her in person at her work and tell her the truth. She was on register with a customer and I just walked over to her and said

"yeah I'm uncomfortable with just being friends" and I walked off

she replied "oh, ok" in a neutral tone

I felt bad about it because she's shown signs of liking me, despite picking this guy, so I figure she could consider me in the future. So I texted her

"I'm sorry, I expressed how I was feeling way wrong. I obviously don't look at you as a sack of meat, I just need some distance, I hope you understand!"

And she replied

"it's OK, I understand"

---Do you guys and girls think I might a accidentally hurt her? She didn't seem phased but maybe she was hiding it? She has a boyfriend now as I said so maybe she doesn't care? Idk!

I'm 18, she's 17 btw

No you didnt

Yes you did

Other (post what)

[sef0181]

I feel you probably hurt her feelings a bit, not because you need space for a bit, but because of how immaturely you handled it.

Just so you know, if this happens again, just let her know up front "Hey, I really like you and it'll be hard for me to see you for a bit, but our friendship meant a lot to me. I just need a little space for now." By saying something like that you didn't a) kill a friendship and b) you handled it maturely enough she might actually consider dating you in the future.

Now, on the other hand, if you didn't actually care about the friendship then it doesn't matter how you handled it.

[Asker]

How is it immature to NOT want to be friends with someone you really cared about that turned you down?

She can reject my romantic advances, I can reject her friendship.

[sef0181]

The immature part is that you approached her while she was with a customer, after having ignored her text message, after having told her friend (and not her directly) when you were mad at her.

And I'm friends with people that rejected me. They saw something at the beginning that I didn't see until later: We were better off as friends.

[Asker]

Your right, probably shoulda done it while she was alone. Oh well, next time ill know to just be upfront with my feelings instead of when theyre busy

[sef0181]

Life's about learning :)

[Anonymous]

No, I think what you did is fair.

It's hard to watch someone that you really like be with somebody else.

She probably doesn't care very much because of having a boyfriend--that keeps her busy.

Just let it go and move on to somebody who is available.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I don't think she was hurt but you never know.oh well hurt feelings are inevitable in situations like this.not anything to worry about