Why is my boyfriend's baby mama such a bitch?

[ltmcneill]

I am a pretty nice girl, it takes a lot to piss me off. At first I was nice to her, she ignored me with a nasty ass attitude. When my boyfriend and I are hanging out already made plans she calls last minute telling him he needs to watch his son. why doesn't she make arrangements ahead of time? For example , she is suppose to be going to bachelorette party tonight...she calls this morning ruining me and my man's plans saying he needs to watch his soon while she gets her nails done, etc.

Like what? she knew about this ahead of time, why didn't she arrange for this prior? And of course, since my guy wants to be a good dad he is pretty much her bitch.

He says I am the only girl he has had such strong feelings for...etc. was all excited about being with me, even wanted to introduce me to his son, however the mother had an issue with it. I understand her issue, maybe its too soon,...but I am sick and tired of her calling him last minute ruining our plans because she wants to go out...what about ME? ughh I am so not getting emotionally attached in this relationship...cause I am not sure its going to last long.. currently keeping my options open.

Updates

+1 y

At first I htought maybe he has feelings for her, but his mom, sister, and friends all asured me he doesn't and just wants to be a good dad. however I am looking out for myself and not letting him get close.

Updates

+1 y

my boyfriend is pretty much being her bitch and its only a matter of time before this ends.

Updates

+1 y

Exaclty the kid doesn't even have his last name...she screams bitch and I haven't even properly met her...i am hanging with my girls for a few days until I figure out what I want to do.

[relationshipDNA]

If you like him, I'd make a good faith attempt to get him to see that "he" is the reason why she doesn't respect his time. If every time she calls him, he is willing to drop everything and run to her rescue, even if its for his son, then she has absolutely no incentive to call ahead of time and make sure he'll be available. She may be a bitch, but he is allowing the bad behavior.

A man that loves his son and is willing to drop everything to be at his side is someone with great character and a maturity level that should be admired. I'd say before you give up on this one, see how willing he is to put his foot down about his time.

Explain to him exactly how you feel, even the part about not wanting to give in fully and keeping your options open because you're not sure if you're going to be able to deal with the lack of respect his baby's mama has for his and your time as a couple. He simply has to set boundaries and rules, and stick to them. It's no reflection on his role as a father if he tells her, I'm sorry, I have a prior engagement. The next time she calls out of the blue, she'll have to figure out something else to do because he can't be available at her becking call. She has to be trained at this point.

If he isn't willing to do that, then you are completely legit in keeping your options because you're right. There's no way this is going to last if these rules aren't set up now.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

First of all, mom, sister, friends, family, etc don't know anything ... They weren't there when he was having sexual intercourse with her and most likely won't know much beside the drama he has with her, as a woman you can tell when something is not right with the boy you once met and the boy his being now.

Her calling last minute might not be new to him or her. What might be new is him saying "I can't today I promise I would spend time with her" && that's when she begins or began to bitch because what was normal and usual for them is slowly changing now that you're in the picture.

Things will change. Either for you or for her, and it sounds like things are changing for you so you need to decide now if your gonna stick through it

They do say "it gets uglier before the sun shines through"

[xXMissBlissXx]

She probably feels like you're her replacement and she may also be uneasy about you being around her child. She sounds like a bitch with control issues and your man needs to stop being so passive, put his foot down, and tell he "Look; if you want me to watch ____ *insert name there*, then you need to let me know ahead of time. I can't just stop what I'm doing so that you can get your nails done. Act like a grown woman and plan ahead."

[ObscuredBeyond]

A friend of mine is a single mom.

One day, the dude's replacement girlfriend tried to kidnap the baby. My friend was the one who went to jail; for punching that girl in the nose and breaking it.

Why the girl suffered no penalty for attempted kidnapping is beyond me. Had I been there, I would've protected the child and tried to stop things from happening before they got violent.

Your boyfriend's baby mama probably sees you as a threat to her possession of the child. You would do well to respect that. You're taking what she was once upon a time convinced was hers, her boyfriend. Who's to say the child won't be next? She sees you as a robber and a thief; so she'll instinctively treat you like a threat.

I would get out of that situation fast. If he's that willing to knock her up and then act like she's nothing to him; then the instant he learns you're pregnant, what's to stop him from doing the same thing to you? That man doesn't deserve the company of anything other than a rubber sex toy vagina from the adult gift store. And you know it.

[Hal2002]

It is crap like this, that I no longer will date a woman with children.

I have been threw the baby momma, baby daddy drama.

Have been with women that wanted me to be part of their kid(s) lives, than went crazy when the baby daddy had the same kid(s) around his steady girlfriend.

The guy you are with needs to set some ground rules, last minute changes because of a work emergency or health issue are one thing. But to change his plans because she wanted to get her nails done, is ridicules.

Baby momma is challenging you, she is show you she controlling that guy.

Walk away, and get out of the drama.

[Phoenix52]

Here's a good idea - why are you with a guy who already has a baby?

You know you're settling for less, right? Go find a childless guy and let this guy find a single mom of 1.

One of my friends is a single dad of 2. His ex-girlfriend didn't get along well because she didn't have any kids. Being the replacement parent does not sit well with many people.

His new girlfriend is a single mom of 2 kids. And things seem to be going well, with the kids getting along good.

This boyfriend of yours sounds like a panzy. Getting pushed over by his ex will continue until he learns to fight for himself and his own time.

[InquisitiveMale]

That's not the best relationship for you and obviously you know it. You will never come first. That's coming from someone raised by a single mother and also someone who has been in a similar situation.

As for the hostility and resentment she holds towards you, you're seen as the replacement. Whether or not she has any feelings for him is irreverent. The kicker is the kid. Mothers are territorial by nature and you've been deemed a threat.

But ya... she does sound like a bitch. It must often suck to be him but at least he gets time with his son out of the arrangement. There is always an upside to things.

[Skyler123]

Oh, no-no-no-no-no just like men I too make a personal note not to date ANYONE. And I mean NO ONE who has a kid. I am too emotionally demanding/selfish in that sense. Plus there is too much ish you have to put up with from the baby mama which you are dealing with right now. It's not worth it, you need someone who can devote all of their love and attention on you because you deserve it, you don't deserve a fraction of what time that person has you deserve so much more.

[HardAppleCider]

Ahhh... because she's your boyfriend's baby's mama. She's inclined to dislike you for a plethora of reasons, and since most people don't try to fight their impulses and inclinations it makes sense that she hates you.

[sexyasianboi26]

Your boyfriend is a victim of a law that allows women to use a child, as an emotional and financial weapon.

OR his baby mama super hates your boyfriend that she can't stand seeing him be with someone or be happy.

[Anonymous]

This is why you shouldn't date people who have kids with other men/women. There is ALWAYS drama! They should have been smarter!

[girlthatneedsanswers]

you need to contact the Maury show