Should my boyfriend stop talking to his baby mama?

I have been in a off and on relationship for the past 3 years. The man that I am with has a kid, but it is an open adoption. His baby mama is still in love with him, and constantly calls to talk to my boyfriend. She will tell him that she misses him, and that she still loves him. She tries to get him to hang out and see her. 2 years ago he cheated on me with her while we were going through a rough patch in our relationship, and since then I have felt as though they do not need to have any ties what so ever. I have recently asked him to either block her number or to change his number so that they do not have connection anymore, and because I am tired of the frequent phone calls. I feel as though because it is an open adoption, she is an ex, still in love trying to get him to cheat on my again, and because he has cheated on me in the past that I am fully right in the way that I feel. Am I wrong to be asking this though because they do have a kid together?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Those feelings of "Where is he", "Who is he with", "why is he not picking up." If those thoughts havn't already popped up in your head they will...and they will make you miserable. Do you really want to continue a relationship where you have to constantly worry and think of "Will he come stay with me?"

    I would just let him go, better for you, and probably better for him. You deserve to be with somebody who hasn't cheated on you and wants to be with you all day every day. Your young, this is way too much baggage to be carrying at the moment, find somebody more stable, with a good job, and has their head in the right place. I'm not saying mistakes can be made, but your boyfriend committed a pretty big one and its one you will constantly have to think about, no matter how much you think you might be over it.

    I wish you the best but please think this relationship over carefully and make a conscientious decision...

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What Guys Said 2

  • you really need to open your eyes. he's already cheated on you once with this woman, and is still in contact with her? what more evidence do you need? it's only a matter of time before he cheats again, and will probably get knocked up again. I'd move on and get tested for STDs

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  • I'm not saying that you're wrong to decide. Simply put yourself in the shoes of that baby mama of your boyfriend. Do you want to stop talking to your baby papa because he already has a new relationship? It still up to you.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think you should just find a boyfriend who won't cheat on you. Problem solved.

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  • well you can't make someone cheat so if he's still drawn to her/feels responsible/connected to her and not making the effort to disconnect from her then there's really nothing you can do about it except extricate yourself from the situation and leave them to it. If they are giving the baby up then once the baby is gone they will have no reason to be connected unless it's what he still wants.

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  • I would stop seeing him... not only does he have a kid, but he cheated on you. No, doubt there will be more contact with her in the future, because he will have to see his kid, but will you be able to trust them alone anymore? Will, he be mad at you for asking that... That's too much asking you deal with that. Try talking to the girl directly and tell her that is inappropriate.

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    • That's the thing they don't have the kid. So they don't see the him together. He is with an adopted family. That's why I think they don't need to have any contact whatsoever. Neither have custody, and they visit him at different times. If they had custody I would understand that they need to talk.

    • Yeah.. he needs to stop talking to her. You have every right to be upset and ask him not to talk to her.He even gave you a reason.

  • You shouldn't date young guys with children for a reason... they need to still grow up half the time :/

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