Boyfriend spends too much time with baby mama. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

We've been going out for a week now. I just feel like he spends too much time with his baby mama. I understand they have a kid together but does he need to spend time with her too. I'm happy he taking responsibility for his child. I know that she will always be in his life but he doesn't even have time for me. We barely talk, what's the point of being in a relationship if we don't spend any time with each other. Why did he even ask me out if he know he doesn't have time for me? We've been friend for months before we became a couple and he never mentioned anything about having a child till now. I would think that will be something that you tell your friend my question is what should I do? Should I talk to him about it or just break up? I don't want to be selfish and let my needs get between his child and I don't want to make choose or anything. I just feel like crying, I just want to spend time with him but at least talk to him, I really like him. Does he really have to be that close to his baby mama if their broken up? Maybe I'm just being jealous and selfish.

Updates

+1 y

It doesn't bother me cause he spending time with his child. It just that when she comes to his house with the baby she stays the whole day instead of dropping her off she stays till midnight or longer.

[Darkfairie17]

I hate to break it to you, but they are probably still sleeping together. Why else would he visit with the mom too?



Most people I know that have kids but are not with the other parent do not do this. The parent drops the kid off and leaves.

This guy sounds like he is trying to have the best of both worlds. He's not committed to baby mama, but he is also not committed to you either. He barely talks to you, but he has you as his gf? I would break up with him because he sounds immature.

As a parent he should definitely figuring out what is going on between himself and baby mama before dragging someone else into the mix.

Obviously he is not ready to have a girlfriend. Go find someone who is going to make you their girlfriend and not just drag you along.

[forever_broken]

You are being selfish. A child is and always should be a parent's NUMBER ONE priority over EVERYONE else. That means you will always be second even if you do stay with him for years. The question is, can you deal with that?

And the reason why he spends so much time with his baby mama is because (and I'm assuming) the child lives with her and I'm guessing that he has to go over there to see his child. So because he has to go over to her house and see the child, that's why he sees her so much too. You need to realize though that the time spent there is with his CHILD not the mother. And if you can't handle this then you're not mature enough to be dating someone with a child.

[Asker]

Actuallt, she comes to his house. I don't mind him spending time with his child. It just bothers me instead of her just dropping off the baby she stays there the whole day, she there with him now.

[forever_broken]

Then in that case you really need to talk to him about that. If she's staying until midnight then there's something going on.

[PoeticNinja]

Lesson learned? - Don't date a guy who has a baby.. He's going to be around the mother, regardless.. Unless, she's seriously bat sh*t crazy.

To stop being jealous, break up. - I don't think you're selfish, per se.. It's reasonable to want to spend time with your boyfriend. Evidently, you're not his number one priority.

[Anonymous]

more than likely they are still hooking up. I'm just saying. you should try to find a guy who doesn't have a baby mama.

im sorry but all the baby mamas I know can still f*** their baby daddies whenever they want to whether he has a girlfriend or not. and most of them still have that bond like they feel like since they have a kid together its more substantiall...you'll see it eventually if you don't believe me now

[Anonymous]

"It just that when she comes to his house with the baby she stays the whole day instead of dropping her off she stays till midnight or longer. "

thats because they're sleeping together.

[Konnour]

It's hard to comprehend how f***ed up is this situation.

[G_GTom]

This is one of the many reasons I don't date people with kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm saying jealous and selfish. Sorry.