I want to die because I can't get a girlfriend and don't know how to get a girlfriend. How do I get one?

Anonymous
I am 18. I'm close to graduating high school. I've never had a girlfriend and I just want to kill myself. I have no talents. I'm not smart. The only thing I have to my name is maybe that I'm funny to my very small amount of friends (3) and anybody I meet randomly but being funny means nothing and it hasn't gotten me any where. I'm not exciting. All I do is read newspapers and books that have once again, gotten me no where. A girl has never liked me before. I was all ways made fun of in school and only got my friends when I was in 8th grade. I'm chubby. I'm ugly. I'm think every girl in my school is disgusted by me in every way. I'm sure if I approached a girl, I think she would just laugh at how pathetic I looked and probably get everyone around her to laugh at me along with her. I'm shy. I hate myself. The problem is, I think I stopped believing in the lies that I kept telling myself. The lies were lies like: I will meet some hot girl who can maybe stand to be around me one day enough to be my girlfriend. And maybe, people will like me someday. And maybe one day I wouldn't be such a pathetic loser. I amazes me when girls say that they look for a guy who can listen well, can make them laugh, and has a good personality. But I think I'm all that but I can't get a girlfriend somehow. Sometimes I think all girls want is a guy with muscles and is confident and has a big cock. I think I'm doomed to be a pathetic loser for all my life and I guess that's how the world works. I don't plan on killing myself soon but I just want to, for the first time in my life, feel happy. But I can't. I need some help. But I can't find any.
I want to die because I can't get a girlfriend and don't know how to get a girlfriend. How do I get one?
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