I was dating this one girl who was a real motor mouth (in a cute way, not in a selfish arrogant way) and I kept wondering if I should chime in or just keep nodding in approval. I'd force myself to add my two cents because I didn't want her to think she was talking to a brick wall. But it felt so awkward and didn't seem to help any.
In hindsight I think those dates could have been perfect if I just played a more passive role in those conversations and maybe peppered them with my usual quips for humor.
What's the best way to handle a girl who loves to talk?
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You'll be able to judge it yourself. You already are, you just don't go with it. There are a few kinds of people... I often have conversations where I'll begin to talk and get to something like 'I, uh-' and that's about all I can say, they don't even regiiiister. After a few 'I, uh-'s (Note: I (Aye) and Uh, two verbalisations commonly found in Siddhi Yoga mantras; the phrase I-Uh is made up of the highest and lowest verbalisations possible within the throat; it may be possible to reach satori by simply talking to someone who doesn't acknowledge your attempts at conversation) I usually realize that they don't want to listen, and it's not a skill of theirs. I resign to listening and I enjoy the listening, which you must, too... The polite chatterbox will acknowledge your attempts to speak but insist they say something before allowing you to speak - if they do, they like you to talk, if they don't, they don't. If they do allow you to speak, it generally comes down to wether or not they acknowledge your contribution. If they show enthusiasm, they love it, if not, they're probably just unfazed and it distracts from what they have to say.
Most interesting I find Anonymous w/numbers answer, because I never actually considered but have certainly encountered a logorrhoeaic such as her; the anxious talker with slight narcism. [Goes on to insult her grievously] Whereupon they'll over-talk because of their anxiety but will blame you for your inability to contribute - quite often I'll have talked to someone where they'll have just talked non-stop and not let me contribute, like you say not in an annoying way, just by demeanour, and then they'll be somewhat absent or hostile then-on, because clearly, I haven't impressed them because I *let* them do it. Some people want that perennial I-Uh mantra that never goes any further.
So, really, you're doing the right thing, I think. It can kinda brush you up when you get ignored when trying to talk (it was shown to have a same neurological effect as breaking a limb, supposedly), and it hurls you into a lot of self-questioning and as such you always imagine you could have done something else that was better, but really, this is just another gut-reaction and probably isn't true. Unless you learn the girl really likes when people are passive, you're doing just right, I think.
Woaaah. Mutliple Is in register, I don't remember doing that. Jesus
Wouldnt it be great if asking these types of questions in the heat of the moment wasn't so unorthodox? It seems to be the ultimate mood killer, like shining a flourescent beam of light on two lovers enjoying a candle-lit lovefest.
What types of questions?
Questions that make one conciously aware of habits that are subconciously facilitated.
Thanks for BA, but, I still don't really understand what you're saying?
You sure talk a lot, when should I speak? (Mood killer)
You ordered a light beer, is that because you think you're fat? (Mood killer)
What size penis do you prefer and how many partners have you had?
Do you still live with your parents?
How much do you weigh?
Have you been checked for STDs?
How much money do you make?
I see you're wearing big shoes. Do you have a big penis?
Are you able to talk without lisping?
Is your vagina tight?
Do you orgasm easily or does it take you a few hours?
Ohhh. Yeah, it would be.