Guys, would you date or like a girl that could probably beat you up?

[Anonymous]

I do a form of martial arts and we spar a lot in class. There are definitely people in class who are better than me but apparently I'm a pretty good fighter and I guess some guys in class are afraid to fight me for some reason. I'm afraid that that might be a big reason why guys don't ask me out :( I'm sort of on the smaller side and don't really look like I could hurt anyone so most guys I know are kind of surprised when they find out I do martial arts. Why do a lot of guys say they don't like girls who can beat them up? Would you date or like a girl that could probably beat you up? Why or why not?

Updates

+1 y

Btw, I'm only a sophomore in high school so the guys I'm talking about would be my age, so they're not all huge dudes. That's why I could probably beat up some of the guys I know. So basically I guess if you were a high school aged boy (and most of them are definitely not as big as adults) would you still like a girl if she could fight you hard?

[TheDigitalSaint]

That's not a reason why most guys aren't asking you out. He won't even know you know martial arts unless you tell him. If you're constantly talking about martial arts, he might think you're a defensive type that feels like she needs to protect herself against somebody (perhaps men in general?) and his mind might run wild from there. Just hold back talking about martial arts from the get go if you're concerned. You have other interests besides that, right?

[Asker]

I usually don't mention it unless someone asks me what sports I do, and that's the only sport I do so I say that. Plus usually the guys I'm more interested in and talk to are in my martial arts class and my teachers will say how I fight hard or tell me to go easy on the guys, and it usually seems like those guys like me at first.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Well, most of the guys in your class are going to try and go easy on you. Most guys aren't using their full force and power in a mock sparing match. If you were in an actual fight against a man, it would feel totally different if he was throwing his entire weight and muscle behind the blows. The guys in the class are probably going easy on you, don't get too aggressive in turn, otherwise they might think you're trying to take advantage of the fact that you're a girl (perhaps with anger issues!)

[Asker]

Yeah they do go easier on me :/ Well most of them, not all. I hate it when guys go easier on me though.

[TheDigitalSaint]

If you get hyper aggressive, they're going to think you might be actually trying to hurt them. Most men are aware of their power over girls. We can easily hurt you without even trying. Our muscle mass allows men to be very hurtful with minimal effort. We're not programmed to go around beating girls up, so we have to think ahead to NOT hurt you.

[Asker]

Yeah, but that doesn't mean a girl couldn't beat up a guy.

[TheDigitalSaint]

If they are of roughly equal fighting skill, it is highly unlikely, unless she happened to surprise attack him. I've been in martial arts before, men generally go easy on the girls.

[Asker]

There are some ba girls though who can hit really hard, take a hit, block, and have good skills. Plus we have the advantage of being able to hit you in the groin, and I doubt most guys where cups when they're just out.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Here's a short answer that will sum it up quite well.

How is your temper? Are you the jealous type? What are the odds of you getting abusive?

Answer those questions, and think hard about the image you project. If you seem like you could get scary, then yeah that's going to be detrimental. If you're level headed, and it's obvious, you should be fine, for some guys anyway. But naturally some guys might get intimidated.

Good luck.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I still think my question sticks.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

lol I meant my answer to the question still sticks. Sorry.

[alanta7]

i do katrate and judo and yes guys seem to be scared of being beaten but they are immature and rather check out my bra if my top slips...silly fools ...

[Jager66]

im sure some men are afraid of being beaten but I wouldn't be so quick to make that assumption. I've had plenty of experience in coed sports and as a man its really hard to actually try and not end up mowing down a women, you can't put in much effort at all. I'm sure often it looks like I'm afraid of loseing when I'm really trying not to hurt them, most women have no idea how much of a physical disadvantage they are really at VS. men.

[yopyopyop]

If by could you mean would, no. If by could you mean "she knows how", maybe.

Anyway, to calm you down a little, if you are not in the heavy weight league, you should keep in mind that even with martial arts, a simple pinch in the face by a guy will get you KO. So don't try it, if you meant "would".

[Asker]

Oh no, I definitely wouldn't beat someone up. I would feel too mean to do that. Eh, we fight kind of hard sometimes, but I don't think I would ever purposely fight anyone, especially if I knew they could beat me up. Most of the guys I know don't seem like they could beat me up though, the bigger guys probably.

[yopyopyop]

I would say the biggest question with martial arts, is that some people learn them as a form of anger management discipline. If I knew a girl I am dating practices martial arts, my main concern wouldn't be the violence that could be the outcome, but to try to decipher her behavior , to see if she has anger issues. That would be a real turn off.

[Asker]

Oh, well I didn't sign up for martial arts because of anger management and I don't know anyone in my class who has signed up because of that. I take karate and I signed up because I thought it'd be fun and so I could learn to defend myself. I love fighting and it's a great stress reliever and it's great to fight or hit a punching bag when you're mad, but I don't do it for anger issues, I didn't even know people did that. I thought most people did this sort of thing for stress or self defense.

[yopyopyop]

@ Update : I know I've never been into taming dragons. You should develop your feminine side, instead of just talking about fights. Even in this topic, you just talk about that.

Most guys like feminine, girlie women. That you can do martial arts is a thing, but not a seducing one for most guys.

[Asker]

I'm just talking about fights because this is what the whole question is about. In my original question I said that people are surprised that I do karate, that's because I look innocent and girly. What would you describe as feminine?

[yopyopyop]

Well you are talking about all this, like a kid would do after he got the newest gaming console he's so excited about. That's not really feminine, I hope you aren't like this in real life, when you talk about karate.

[Asker]

Why, I'm not allowed to talk about something I love to do?

[yopyopyop]

To make it really simple :

Fighting, brawling = manly

Girl talking about fighting people = manly = unattractive.

[Asker]

Why can't girls talk about that sort of thing too?! It's not like I talk about it 24/7 with everybody I know. I only talk about it with my friends who do karate with me, and I don't even talk about fighting that much unless we're sharing techniques or talking about other people's fighting. I'm still a girl. I love dress and skirts, dresses, flowers, perfume, make up, romance movies, etc.

[alanta7]

u tell him hun...talk about what's important to you by all means...how old are you then?

[Asker]

Thank you! I'm almost 16. I know you're supposed to be at least 16 for this site but I really needed guy advice when I joined and I figured a few months isn't that big of a deal :p

[Paul_Topin]

You probably just need to find the right guy. As far as the guys go who do martial arts with you, any guy is going to get a bit embarrassed about being pinned down by a girl in front of other guys. He is probably going to have put up with some mickey taking by the other guys. However, don't take this too seriously as they probably admire your skill. If the guy is more mature then he will also admire your skill. I got pinned down by various black belt girls on the judo mat. I just thought that there would be no point learning judo if the stronger person always won. I would be happy to go out with a girl who could beat me on the mat. I could still feel like the man if I was still stronger than her, though less skillful.

[Malcom_Reynolds]

The women out there that could actually beat me up are very few and far between, and most are not the most "feminine" looking. But all that aside, if I came across a girl whom I found attractive, personality wise we got along, and then discovered she has some "Buffy Summers" like ability where she could kick my ass, I really don't think it'd bother me that much. So I suppose the short answer is yes, I could still like and date a girl who could beat me up.

[Anonymous]

ya I wouldn't mind, I don't think any girl could beat me up in a life or death situation though... I mean martial arts is one thing but all a guy would need is one good punch and the girl would be unconscious just from the pure strength difference. I don't think I could date a girl that was stronger then me however just because it would be gross for a girl to have muscles like that

[one1wild00]

It all will depend on your temperament and how you would react and relate to a boyfriend, if your predisposed to be witchy, fierce, mean tempered and mean spirited i could understand their view. if your are a sweet gal and only use for defense, IE an abusive boyfriend or an outside attack on yourself or those you care about i see no reason for them to be afraid to go out with/date you.

[Anonymous]

well I am in martial arts and so is my wife she can beat me up whenever she wants cause it almost always end good for me. You just need to find a guy who is secure with himself and don't go around acting like you can kick anyones ass cause that is just not attractive.

[booyah]

guys are normally afraid to fight girls because it's a lose lose situation.

if they win they are a girl basher

if the lose they "lost to a girl"

it's insecurities like that that would make them not want to fight you

[DVanx]

yes definitely, as long as she is nice and feminine looks good (not muscular and not like a guy). if she looks like a girl and can still beat me it means she is very good at martial arts and can defend herself if she needs to. and that is just good!

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, i am an extremely physically weak, nerdy and wimpy man whom even a 10 year old girl could probably beat up. So i wouldn't mind at all. I am completely comfortable in my own skin. Besides i think that i am a very nice and easygoing guy. So you would never have any reason to beat me up or harm in any other way for that matter in order to teach me a lesson.

[DawnFallenstar]

As long as she doesn't actually beat me up I wouldn't mind dating her.