Another worry of mine, is that she's always contradicting herself regarding how she feels about me. She'll always tell me that she "needs" me" and thinks about me "all the time" and that I can't let go of her. But then again she always brings up that she's too dramatic for me, that maybe I can't handle her (I can so far) or question my affection for her, as if I don't really care for her (I do). She also says she can't feel it, that she feels as if I am far away.
Another point, she is completely hung up on my ex-gf. I don't even mention her, but she always brings her up, accusing me of still being in love with her. I always play it down and say no, that was one year ago. It is true that I treated her well, probably went overboard, and have toned down now. My current lady is a complete stalker, going through all my online photo albums (I have a lot) and even going so far as to download pictures of my ex to her phone, just to bring up to me later to accuse me about something. At this point, I just laugh it off and tell her not to worry, "you are the one I want". I also tell her you should probably stop looking at my ex's photos, but she can't help it.
Despite this girl being a stalker and very dramatic, I like her a lot. I am learning to brush it off and go with the flow/let it pass. But I would like her to tone down a little bit, and figure out what she means with the mixed signals. We go from hot to cold a lot. I would like to maintain a steady warmth, which I've always been capable of.
What would you suggest?
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I am so glad I read your post...because it seriously helps me to see better from a man's perspective. All the people telling you to dump her are looking at the relationship through their eyes, not yours. You obviously feel some magic with this chick. (I am speaking on her behalf, since I am very much like this girl!) We tend to be opinionated, and territorial. She has a connection with you and doesn't want to share it..because she wants you all herslef. The hot and cold is her way of dealing with it. She tries to blow things off that get to her, and not care as much as she does, so she goes cold. That is her way of self preservation. You have to ask yourself a few questions to get to the answer you are looking for. First, is there any possibility you could be directly or indirectly doing things to make her insecure? (It may be insecurity on her terms, not yours, because your expectations are different..and you aren't on the same page yet) Secondly,is she worth the drama? I think you already know the answer..to you she is, so screw everyone who tells you to dump her. They don't have the relationship with her, you do.
If she is violent..she clearly needs help, but that is not the picture I get. I think you have a girl who really cares for you deeply..and if you cheated, it would do 2 things to her, that would break her down. It would kill her ego...and maybe she likes that...You are a guy, so try to respect a girls ego. Secondly, IT WOULD BREAK HER HEART. This is where the unexplained contradictions come in to play. SHE WANTS to go further in the relationship, but tests you to see how much you really do care, because she is really unsure of your feelings, and doesn't want her heart broken. I hope that helps! I also hope you both get what you want and deserve.