I like cuddling, but for guys it almost always leads to sexual arousal, can I cuddle friends?

[Anonymous]

I like hugging, and a lot of the time I do like the guy friend in question. I could even have a relationship with him. but the thing is, if I cuddle him in bed (meaning holding him or him holding me, but without an sexual touching), it almost always leads to him wanting sex like right then, or trying to touch me sexually. Then it ends up being like they want to sleep with me, which wasn't what I was meaning, I really truly just like hugging people, and only want to sleep with someone in a relationship, so how do I not end up looking like I'm arousing him or making him want sex? Is there actually any guy out there would would cuddle just for cuddling? and also if I jump in my friends bed, they will think I want to have sex with them. Do I need to give up cuddling guy friends? They might just interpret it like I'm trying to initiate sex. Once I even said the word cuddle and he thought it was code for sex :(.

[Anonymous]

Yea... guys don't see cuddling in the same way girls do.

For guys, cuddling is just a step on the way to sex.

For girls, cuddling can be an end to itself.

That doesn't mean you can't find a guy who will be happy with just cuddling... it's just that he won't be happy with it for very long. Eventually it just becomes teasing, because there is never any escalation towards sex. And for guys, sex is always the ultimate goal.

The way I understand it, women can enjoy each of the steps towards sex, and sex itself, each in their own right. Which is why a girl can still enjoy sex even if she doesn't happen to orgasm that time.

It would be impossible for a man to enjoy sex without orgasm. The only reason we enjoy the steps before that, are because we're heading to the climax - the finish line. If we don't get there, then all the bits before that are worthless, pointless, and cockteasingly painful.

So with cuddling - yes, you can enjoy it for what it is. You're a girl. You're actually getting part of the whole feminine sexual experience - a guy is holding you and making you feel warm protected and safe.

For a guy, it's a step on the way to sex. If he has sex from it, then obviously the cuddling was great. If he doesn't, then cuddling was just one big long tease that went nowhere.

[Asker]

So it means I basically need to be in a relationship before even cuddling too often because sec would hurt me if they didn't consider a relationship with me, and cuddling is leading to sex. If I date someone, or if you dated someone, how long would it usually be until you're in bed cuddling?

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I'm older than you. By the third date, I fully expect sex.

When I was younger, closer to your age, then I was the sort of guy who was prepared to go at whatever pace the girl was happy with. If that meant waiting a week, or waiting 3 months before we were cuddling in bed, then that was what it took.

As a guy, for me there was no such thing as going too fast. If she wanted sex on the first date, I'd have been willing.

[Asker]

Ok thanks for the input. I mean I personally don't feel happy with myself if I have sex with someone unless I really love them or sincerely think I could have a relationship with them. So I'm having trouble finding appropriate people to cuddle because it could cause issues if cuddling doesn't lead to sex.

[yopyopyop]

Is this a serious question ? I mean seriously. You're in bed with a guy, you want to cuddle, what is he supposed to expect ? Playing scrabble ?

[Betwyn]

OOOO Scrabble in bed is super awesome!

[desidoll]

Yes play scrabble !

[yopyopyop]

Seems it's time to order a portable scrabble game and carry it everywhere with me :D

[Anonymous]

No.

Guys resent girls for their own unfulfilled sexual arousal. Cuddling with guy friends and not fooling around with them will only make them pissed off. Giving them hugs from time to time should be OK, though.

[Asker]

Ok thanks. I just enjoy cuddling that's all it is. I cant/dont want to have sex with people all the time, and when I'm single then I can't cuddle anyone. Just look at how pissed off the answers from the guys are!

[cazza3]

If they are a friend, then you shouldn't cuddle with them. He's not the one crossing the friendship line you are. If its something you wouldn't do with a brother then you shouldn't do it with male friends either

[Asker]

I guess this is kind of the truth. I don't cuddle my brother gross yeah.

[GoodBetterBestBad]

Yeah, get gay friends