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I would say if he feels unwanted then you should try to fix that. but that's still isn't an excuse. he should have told you that at first instead of seeking attention from another girl. give him another chance since it was kinda your fault. no offense12
Sorry, I would dump him. That was a form of cheating. If he really was mature enough to try and make things better with you, he would have talked to you about feeling neglected first. Cheating is a choice; nothing "drives" someone to do it.313
Forgive him. I know if I was in his place, I would be ashamed. If he is crying and is understanding enough to give you permission to end the relationship, then you probably have a good boyfriend there. In this case, I don't think he is saying that you should be the one to end the relationship. He is just being honest. Just give him another chance.
Although it doesn't make it right that he texted her for attention, at least now you know how he feels. Both of you can work together to improve so that this doesn't happen again. A good girlfriend (or boyfriend) is a forgiving girlfriend. It seems that he has good intentions, and he really is sorry, so you can forgive him. He will feel better and grateful if you forgive him. Besides, the person he texted already told you, so you have nothing to worry about anymore.
No matter the reason, you need to have good perception. With good perception you can look at body language and expressions, and you can actually see the intent behind a person's words. This is really helpful because you can tell if someone is telling the truth. In this case, I think he is telling the truth. No person would cry if they didn't feel regret.112
Don't assume just because she lives 2hrs away that he can't cheat. Just say you're gone for a day or two OR they meet somewhere halfway... distance and convenience may help curb cheating but it's not going to stop it
forgive him if you want. it's totally up to you. I think you need to figure out two things. Do you honestly trust him? And are there other people he's been doing this with?
For me I'd forgive him because it was only messaging and nothing physical, and while it is still cheating it is less egregious than physically cheating... but I'd just explain to him that he hurt you and he needs to regain your trust. If he ever does it again then you two are over. You need to explain that if he is feeling something he needs to talk to you because that is what being in a relationship is about. It's not always going to be perfect but it's no excuse to do low character things, especially to someone you love10
What Girls & Guys Said
You feel for that line of crap? If he cared for you or loved you he would not be texting another girl, especially not texting her AND asking when they could bump nasties again. Have some respect for yourself and kick his ass to the curb. If he was lonely and wanting attention, there are better and not so damaging ways to get it.
If you stay with him, that is on you. Let me ask you though, do you think it will change? Here I how to find out, have someone set him up on a 'NSA' and see if he shows, tell him to rent a hotel room and text you the name and number. Have your friend tie him up (bondage) and then walk out the door leaving you there to walk in and ask for an explanation. Whips, paddles and butt plugs will help him answer you. If you still do not like the answer get him to the edge, walk out and leave him there naked and tied up - humiliated. Me, I would call his mom (or have someone) and tell them where to find him!33
Where would he get the time, figuring two hours each way two hours for adult fun - I have to account for between 6 and 8 hours. Okay. Do you or he work full time. I tell you I am going to work/school and instead hit the road. Maybe she drive half way or more. Friday night out with the guys. Where there is a will there is a way. Offer me sex and if I had been with you and liked sex with you, I would spend hours/days reworking my schedule to 'fit' her in.
Leave work 'sick' a couple hours early, meet halfway, split the hotel find a quiet spot in the woods - where ever - come home, damn that traffic was bad tonight.0
In my opinion you two have been together for 3 years. You don't have proof of him actually going to have sex with her. I think he just wanted attention. I would forgive him. Give him a second chance. If he ruins that. Than that's when you should REALY think about leaving him.0
When you guys were not living together, how often were you having sex?
Now that you have been living together 12 months, how often are you having sex?
There is a reason the guy was feeling alone and neglected, and why he went outside of the relationship to get something.11
I'd give him one more chance and that's it. I suspect he'll stop for a while but then revisit things again in the future because he can't control himself. But everyone deserves at least one chance after a mistake.0
And you're wasting your time to write this here? Go talk to him and dump his ass10
Having somewhat of the same issue he texted innapropriately nothinv happened i still feel like its cheating he is destroyed. Wants to work on it i know we were going though a rough patch. I also still thing he is my one. He would do anything for me and thats putting it lightly. I will be very hard for me to get past this but i still believe in all our plans and future together. He wants that too. I could do better too i admit that i was distant he just should have talked to me.10
He should have come to you if he was lonely. That's an excuse for his lack of integrity. If he really is committed to you, you would be the first and only woman he would seek attention from when he was lonely.0
he would have gone down there. trust.10
Most Helpful Opinions
Hmmm. I personally would never take a cheater back. Even if he turns from his ways, he will always have this temptation to cheat on a higher level than most people, because he has already cheated emotionally in the past and almost to the point of physicality if you wouldn't have found out sooner.
I am speaking from personal experience, that you should not lower your standards and take him back unless he is willing to allow a period where he needs to gain your trust back, like delete and block that girls number, or delete girls he has written to about sexual things from Facebook, I think that is necessary. My past ex before my current amazing boyfriend, was very sketchy in that I'd catch him on that "close friends" fb thing and see him liking pictures of skanky clothed women, it hurt my feelings, but whenever I'd address it he'd act like it wasn't a big deal. Then, eventually I found out he and his ex were messaging while he was with me. She lived far away, but it still hurt me bad. Emotional cheating is just as bad. I went back to him a few times, and he didn't deserve me going back not even once. Don't go back unless he is willing to make huge steps to change and prove himself to you!