7 dates. She still checks her online dating profile

[Anonymous]

I'll keep this short and sweet. Met a girl online. Over the course of 2-3 months we've been on 7 amazing dates. She's really in to me. Loads of hugging, holding hands, kissing on her part. She's invited me to stay around twice. We've had sex around 8 times. 4 times on one night. 4 times the other.

I signed on to my dating profile over the weekend to delete it (not because of us getting close, just haven't got time for it) only to find she was online. I could understand if we'd only been on 1-2 dates but after 7 and sex surely that ups it a level?

Now I'm really confused. Anyone have any advice on what I should do? We last dated on Friday when I stayed, text each other Sat and Sun and that was the last I heard from her. She didn't reply to my last text.

Any advice much appreciated. Thanks!

[Izzy2102]

I'm not really sure, but I think it's a lot like this site. You'll be logged in automatically it probably comes up just typing the first letter, and it's a bit addicitng.

It's easy to just check if you got new messages and it's not necessarily a bad intention. But women usually have a lot of choice on online dating portals. And personally I would keep my options open until I'm in a relationship which requires to talk about it. If he never asked for us to be a couple or at least exclusive, I'd keep seeing other people and I wouldn't sleep with him either

I think you should tak to her, clear up where you're standing. Exclusive? In a relationship? And where you see this going in the future.

[canuckfarmgirl]

Talk about it. Unless you have talked about being exclusive, she hasn't done anything wrong. Bring it up next time you see her. But not about her having a profile, that will make her defensive. Talk about being exclusive, ask her to be your girlfriend. And if you aren't ready for that, keep quiet.

She could also be checking to see why your profile is still up. I met someone online, been talking/dating for almost 2 months now. He still has his profile up, I deleted mine weeks ago. We haven't talked about it. Doesn't bother me and it won't unless we become exclusive and he's still online at that point.

[udolipixie]

I could understand if we'd only been on 1-2 dates but after 7 and sex surely that ups it a level?

Not in my opinion you're not committed to her or in a long-term relationship you're simply the guy who occasionally f*cks her. I see no reason for her to close her profile for a guy she's dating rather than a guy she's in a (committed) relationship with.

Anyone have any advice on what I should do?

It seems you want her to close her profile so it's suited to tell her this and if she complies go for and if she doesn't then you decide whether you want to remain or not.

[madhatters4]

perhaps she was doing the same as you and went online to delete or perhaps she was just checking it out.

After the number of dates you've had I would just talk to her about being exclusive if you want to be. Perhaps she's still looking or perhaps she feels as though the relationship is rather casual but I would just talk to her. Maybe mention I'm feeling like this relationship is really great, and probably will drop the online dating account and then sort of gauge her response.

I'm sure it's unnerving seeing her online but rather than make assumptions about why or what she is doing I'd just go to the source and see how she feels about hte relationship

[Anonymous]

it's just simple. the best case is she is there to deactivate it as well. if not she is not satisfied in you, or she can't be satisfied with one partner

[Vivy2000]

Hi Anonymous. So this has just happened to me and my boyfriend brome it of with me because I still had my online dating profile up.
So, yes she could be looking for someone else and she might not think you're that special someone, which you should communicate it with her and figure out where you stand.
Or she could just have it up for the same reason I did, I never connected to anyone on it after I started seeing him, but O also didn't want to lay all my eggs in one basket cause I didn't know how real he was, and as selfish as it might sound I wanted to save myself the hassle of creating another profile.
Or you might not be fulfilling all her needs, other than sexual and she is looking in others to fill that gap, which again you have to communicate with her to figure it out.
So no not everyone who is dating you and still has a profile up is a cheater.

[Anonymous]

Have you actually had the talk about being exclusive yet?

If you haven't, she's done nothing wrong.

Too many people assume exclusivity without ever having the chat.

[Victoria-Anna]

People on dating sites usually keep their options open , and date multiple people at the same time. That's why I wouldn't create a profile on a dating site. You obviously aren't exclusive to her

[unighted]

If I were her I would keep on checking my online profile until you asked me to be a couple, so maybe that's what she is doing

[GreatnessPersonified]

Are you two an item? Are you sure she knows that as well. Sometimes, you have to be clear, in definitive terms what your relationship is.

-Greatness

[lauramor]

She might not want t close other options, talk to her about it