Can a nerd get a girlfriend or is it a lost cause?

[Anonymous]

I'm a nerd in college and I'm shy, and it seems like women don't like you if you don't party all the time, don't have muscles, don't get drunk every weekend, don't drive flashy cars, and you aren't a bad boy douche bag. I'm starting to see that women are just not worth it nowadays.

I read articles about why women won't date nerds. I have to say, that I think I will be alone for a very long time. I'm skinny, wear glasses, I like to read, play video games, study for my classes, and watch TV. Those are my hobbies when I am free. And if a woman doesn't like that, then she can move on. I'm not changing myself either, I don't go to gyms (I hate working out and I hate gyms), I can't go shopping for new clothes, in putting myself through college and I can't afford it. I still live at home at 23 years old. To be honest, I'd rather go unnoticed by women than have one like me for a person I'm not. I think I just need to focus on my education, and forget about women until I'm 30. Are guys like me a lost cause in the dating department?

[SammiKitten]

You actually remind me of someone. He's called my boyfriend. =)

Finding someone is all about timing, and compatibility. Some people make no effort and have girlfriends and boyfriends just fall into their lap. Some people have to make a greater effort, but this doesn't reflect on what kind of person you are, this is basically down to luck a lot of the time.

What you need to 'not' do is direct frustration and negativity towards women, which is easy to do when you feel hard done by people, life or whatever. The way you hold yourself is what makes you attractive to women, how you act around people. When I met my boyfriend, there was a game that I didn't know how to play - what attracted me to him was that the fact that he was a little geeky and played video games, but how sweet he was when he was teaching me how to control the car, being lovely and gentle and sharing a giggle together when I would 'always' go on the grass around every corner. Then we did the whole, you steer and I'll do the pedals thing. It was how nice and how well he treated me that spoke to me - not his social standing, his wealth or lack there of or physical appearance. It was his heart.

[angrychick]

My boyfriends a nerd and I love him. I also disagree with dating articles and millionaire matchmaker patty when they say to NOT act like a nerd..even if you are one. it's silly. be who you are. You're unnoticed by these women but the women of your type is probably unnoticed and shy, too.

The girls you're thinking of are just the wild girls. You obviously need a girl that's right for you. She's probably behind the scenes and not noticed as often as these girls you're thinking of.

[selfishstars]

There are women who are nerds and there are women who like nerds.

There are women who are shy and there are women who date shy guys.

There are women who don't like to party.

There are women who don't care about muscles.

There are women who don't like to drink.

There are women who don't care about flashy cars.

There are women who aren't interested in "bad boy douche bags".

[skinandbones]

and there are women who like cheese!

there. the 'declarative statements regarding women' collection is now complete :D

[Asker]

Jesus, that answer gave me a headache.

[talloak]

I realize that there are people like the ones you have painted but for the most part, real women are not superficial, petty or materialistic. As you pointed out, any woman who was that way wouldn't fit with you anyway. You would have no better chance changing them than they would changing you. It's hardly a lost cause, but you really do have to take some responsibility in the matter if you hope to meet a woman who would like you for who you are. All the interests you list are solitary. Also, I think the kind of women that would more likely appeal to you are going to be less assertive and possibly less social. You need to take more initiative than you're used to doing to connect with them.

[Asker]

I'm just gonna stay single, thanks for the advice.

[mike52197]

I've had 3 girlfriends and they all accepted me as the nerd I am. I also have glasses, a huge comic collection, I play pokemon and own a lot of videogames. I don't like sports and I'm skinny. Not too muscular. You're 23 and you're still young. Older than I am. But still young. You're not a lost cause.

[Asker]

Tell the women who said I was that.

[mike52197]

I will. Do you have her Facebook, email or number or anything to do just that? lol Plenty of fish in the sea not every girl is as ignorant as she is.

[Asker]

When I am through with a woman, I get rid of everything of her's. So no I don't.

[mike52197]

Well good luck out there, I'm certain you'll find someone who will accept you for who you are.

[Asker]

I'll see

[Anonymous]

I'm a nerd myself and I'm still holding out hope to find a nerdy girl to date.

[Asker]

I think I'm just gonna do that, dating is just so complicated.

[Anonymous]

well then be more social!how are you suppost to meet girls if there's nowhere for you to meet them though honestly?if not then I guess you have to wait for the future but don't give up completely.love will find you when it wants you,not when you want it.plus in college people don't really carre about your social status,you just have to put yourself out there.he way your going with your education and such though, you'll have no problem getting girls in the future.

[Asker]

I'm gonna wait for the future, I'm only sociable when there is a need for it. Talking to random people my age isn't a need for me. Building a life, getting a job, and talking to my teachers, boss, and counselors are the only times I reach out.

[Opinion Owner]

well that's fine but don't expect to get a girlfriend for a while unless some random love of your life just so happens to walk in

[Asker]

Mhm

[Anonymous]

just keep trying, date other nerdy girls:)

[moviedude714]

Makes me hate the system