You are not doing anything wrong. eHarmony is a well known scam and has over 900 (and counting) complaints on consumeraffairs.com.
Basically, they use their free weekends to artificially increase the number of users. eHarmony considers these people 'active' despite not logging into the site for over a month and with no way of communicating with you.
You can tell if you are using the desktop version of the site as it will say next to the person's profile that they are active "Over a Month Ago". This can mean one month or 10 years. Interestingly enough, this 'feature' is missing from the phone version, so you have no way of knowing if you are accessing through the mobile app.
Of course, don't just take my word for it. Search for 'eHarmony' and 'scam' or 'inactive members' and you can see for yourself. If eHarmony is not intentionally lying to its members then why can you not specify that you only want to be matched to people who have logged onto the website in the last month? Oh - that must not be one of the 29 characteristics they can search for...
So, you have done nothing wrong except to trust eHarmony. Sorry you had to go through this.
Best of luck to you!
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I'd get a refund, too. Dispute the charge if you can.
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Contact their client support.
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