Guy says he wants to keep things casual and then leaves a hickey? Why? Such mixed signals.?

[Anonymous]

Ok so basically I was seeing this guy for a month. Things were getting more intense so I asked him if we were exclusive, he said yes. I meant to stop at exclusive but I ended up telling him I was looking for a serious relationship, he told me that I should date other guys. I honestly wasn't super surprised by his answer since we only see each other once a week on the weekend and he is more into the physical parts. I was like fine, sounds good, but I'd be down for just a physical relationship while I'm casually dating other guys. He seemed super surprised at my suggestion and then he agreed.

Later that night when we were talking he asked me something and I was like "Why would I when its obvious you're not interested enough and we're not going to work out." And then he got annoyed: "How is it obvious we'd never work out? Why do you have to see everything in black and white?" It hurt to hear that, after he told me that he didn't want a relationship but I decided to believe that he meant it when he said he didn't want a relationship, and seemed completely happy with the idea of me dating other guys. And then to top everything off he gave me a hickey when I wasn't paying attention and he's never given me any before.

For obvious reasons, the visible hickey is def delaying my search for other guys. I'm wondering if this means he's not actually ok with being causal and I should just drop him entirely even though I really like him and enjoy having fun with him. But I wanted to check before doing anything drastic, I would prefer if I could just ask him what he really wants from this (I'm pretty sure he just wants a fling anyway) and make sure he never does the hickey thing again.

[coolbreeze]

He put the hickey on your neck to mark his terrority.He figured if you did date other guys then other guys would see the hickey and know your talking to somebody else.To be honest what he did was selfish. Also I think he is starting to develop feelings for you. You are right he was the one that said he didn't want nothing serious and not he is going back on his word.He could also be trying to play mind games with you.I think you should have a tlak with him about how he really feels.And I agree he shouldn't be leaving hickies on your neck if you want to date other guys.If he feels strongly that you shouldn't date other people then he needs to start showing you how serious he is if he wants to be in a relationship or not.

[coolbreeze]

Thank you very much for selecting my answer as the most helpful.

[ironeddie]

How can you get a hickey while not paying attention? ๏_๏
Was it a sudden strike? Like a shark attacking a seal?

Coolbreeze should get most helpful.

And he was definitely marking his territory.
It's basically the same as a dog peeing on bushes. It just doesn't smell as bad. :-D

[MaskofInsanity]

I'd say go by what he told you (i.e. he doesn't want a relationship).

In answer to your title question, I think friends with benefits 's should end when the two people involved don't want the same thing. I think you're setting yourself up to be hurt by continuing with him if you have feelings for him. If he does by chance return those sentiments, when you end things he would just tell you that he wants to be with you.

[knotme]

You don't have to display the hickey, use cover-up, but he was showing a sign a possessiveness. You need to let him know if you aren't going to be in a relationship; there is no marking allowed

[Anonymous]

I don't know what his intentions are but if your going to date other guys stop sleeping with this one. It's not fair to the new guy.

Seems to me he wanted to mark you. Of course he doesn't really want you to see other guys because his free piece will go away.

[Anonymous]

TOOO LONG didn't REAAD