Polls: Dating

I have two friends: both are 40, have chosen the single life for years. One is a guy, he was friends with a girl in her early 30’s for a year and dated her casually for a year before he finally decided she was the one and asked her to be his girlfriend. After one year of seriously dating, he proposed marriage at Christmas. They married two months later. He’s a guy, we’ll call him Ryan. Him taking his time is fine.

The other friend is a woman (we’ll call her Tara), she’s been “seeing” a guy (also 40) for at least 9 months. They haven’t labeled it yet, every time I ask her when she’s labeling the relationship she always says “we’re taking our time with it, keeping it casual and just being friends first”. I love Tara, but she’s out of her freakin mind. I demanded my boyfriend to define the relationship after 5 months. Tara does want this guy, but she just lives in her own little shell and won’t demand what she wants. She just sits back lets things happen and says she wants him to define it in his own time (I told her drop his ass if he doesn’t define it at the end of this month).

It’s fine that Ryan took his time. He’s a guy and it’s more socially accepted for him to put off relationships and marriage. For women I don’t understand it though. I feel like when we go that route, we get used, we get our time wasted and we get hurt. I think Tara is making a huge mistake, but my boyfriend says she’s not. What if she defines the relationship and then decides she doesn’t like him after all (that’s his logic). Maybe because I’m also dying to matchmake her and there’s a friend of my bf’s who I want her to meet (because he’s dying to date her and I think they’re perfect for each other).

Both is not an option lol

I agree because have you noticed a lot of the women here post things about sleeping with men on the first date, strange men they met online, exchanging nudes with strangers, and constantly say things that are sexualy for male attention?

Why is she a red flag:

1. She is being manipulative. Dont trust the "sure I'm down for friends with benefits." It's a lie. She likes you and feels if she does this, you will EVENTUALLY like her back. When you don't, she will get angry.

2. Sometimes, women have sex with you immediately because we don't like you , lol. Yes, it's true. You're sexually attractive, but we don't see you as a long-term partner, so we have sex with you to get you out of hair.

3. She's having sex with you to trap you. She thinks sex with you will make you stick around because she knows sex is hard to come by for a man. Men are constantly rejecting or fear rejection, so they won't bother approaching a woman. Instead, a man will pay for sexual services before he is faced with rejection. It's a blow to the ego.

4. If she's this easy with you, she's easy with everyone else. She's not a woman who has a back bone, she's a doormat, has low self-esteem, self-worth, and weak genetics that can get passed on to your child. Let's face it, this is a survival of the fittest world. You want a woman who will reject other men when not in your presence. Not one who gets weak at the knees for everyone, man, that gives he 1 strand of attention.

5. Last but not least.. Are you ready.. Studies have confirmed that ugly women are more likely to be cheaters than beautiful women. Beautiful women have high self esteem, self worth, and are used to being hit on by men, so rejecting men who are not of quality comes easy to a beautiful woman. Yet beautiful women get a bad rep from men and accused of cheating because men often throw themselves at her.

https://youtu.be/ZHgCVTaZxTE?si=ZMx8RFLH7Ii0SCMz

So my boyfriend has recently started leaving his phone around me while he goes out for a smoke. He even sometimes ask me to hold his phone for him. Now I’ve been cheated on before and usually guys who are being shady would never let their phones out of their sight. Although I also had a guy leave his phone with me even when he was cheating on me. I know I’m probably overthinking but do you think this is a good sign?