Is it the okay to go on date with married man in process of divorce?

Question

So he’s still married to her, but they live in different houses and he doesn’t want to get back together. They share children. I’ve tried to convince him to make things work with her, but he’s not interested.

Is it ok to go on a date or not in this scenario?

Orion84 · Accepted Answer

If you genuinely believe they should work things out, then you dating him would only complicate matters, so I would advise against it.

If they're actually going through with the divorce, then your dating him could also complicate his defense. Should his soon-to-be-ex wife decided to make an issue out of it, she could claim all sorts of crap in front of a judge, depending on where you live.

It's not unheard of for people in bitter divorce cases to claim that their spouse's new girlfriend/boyfriend had something to do with the divorce, or that they're badmouthing that person in front of the kids, 'causing alienation of affection, etc.

Either way, I think it's a bad idea, at least for now. I'd suggest just being his friend, and then, depending on how things develop, you could potentially start dating later.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Is there a divorce case filed? How soon will it be finalized? How long have they been separated?

The question here is not morality, as separation - at least to me - frees him from the obligation to be faithful. The real question here is how this impacts you. It is obvious to most people with experience that this is a rebound for him and unlikely to become a long term relationship. He is more likely to want to rush into a sexual relationship because that is what men do when they are getting divorced. If you rush into a sexual relationship, you are more likely to be hurt when this comes to an end. . . even though you tell yourself to not develop any expectations . . . you will. Be careful and be smart!

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

You've mentioned that he's not interested in getting back together and that they live in different houses. These are strong indicators that the relationship is over. If the divorce is still being finalized, a new relationship could potentially complicate the proceedings, especially if children are involved. You could be opening a can of worms here.

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't because there is the risk he could instrumentalize me to hurt his still wife or just use the divorce lie to sleep with girls outside marriage.

ohsheeT · Answer

I wouldcwait until you new for sure deceased divorced. Do you know how many married men say that they've in the middle of a breakup or whatever. Just to get laid. I would wait

Rides_Big_Guys · Answer

Depends what Y O U R intentions and wants are in all of this. Do you want a fling or long term?
If you seek long term, run hunny! He don’t care about you - you’re just a distraction for him to help him cope during a difficult time that he’s caused.

Staximus · Answer

You should wait until he gets divorced. There might be some problems for the couple to sort out, and things might get ugly and you will regret being in the middle of it.

Anonymous · Answer

You do realize thats how married men play women right? Before you realize it 6 to 8 years has gone by and the divorce is still not done. By then you realize he has no intention of divorcing his wife, he just wants to use you for sex and companionship

Plus if you truly wanted a guy, you would never convince him to go back to his ex

My advice is to never go for a man unless he is fully divorced

Anonymous · Answer

I say no.

I'm not telling anyone else how to live. But the last woman I had an interest in I lost out on because refused to date her before her divorce was final. And other guys didn't draw that line. To me those vows mean something and until you're not married, you're still married.

Malemajor · Answer

Yup, because marriage is a wrong social constraint. The word married next to that Man can be completely ignored. Most of humanity has already realized this as evident from the statistics !

avery58 · Answer

It's best not to bother with it until the divorce is finalized, cause what if they change their minds or there was still a small chance of getting back together

bowenw · Answer

From what you've described there is no possibility of reconciliation and they have started divorce proceedings, so it's okay to date him in my opinion.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

You do what you feel is right, just make sure they are really into divorce proceedings and he's not bullshitting you.

slatyb · Answer

Ethically it's fine, but it's probably not a good idea to start a relationship with a stranger who is getting a divorce or has been divorced less than a year. Been there, and I was not ready to date.

Cormac995 · Answer

Its not alright and it's shitty idea too because it comes with insain levels of drama

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I believe that it's better to wait until they get an official divorce!

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

He shouldn't be dating if he's still married. Wait until he sheds that baggage

jazzy34 · Answer

I’d wait until he’s officially divorced, if I were you. He’s still legally married.

WonderingManII · Answer

Not it’s not alright. He's emotionally messed up.

Kelly6 · Answer

@pink934 yes it’s fine

Abbycado · Answer

Nope.

dudeinohio · Answer

Yeah, it's ok to date him.

Flower7 · Answer

Nope. He is married.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think it's a good idea.

jahaims · Answer

Sounds ignorant

Anonymous · Answer

No you piece of shit

Is it the okay to go on date with married man in process of divorce?

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