Questions: Dating

I watch true crime where the ex lovers of these serial killers talk about how love made them do stupid things, these killers showed really early on they were trouble & these women continued to stay with them because they were so in love with these guys. 29F & being under the impression that I have an avoidant attachment style, over the years I’ve ended “friendships” when I grew tired of dealing with their behaviors that didn’t sit well with me. I have a habit of letting things build up & just eventually ice them out vs confronting them early on. Not to mention, when guys showed earlier on during the talking stages that they may have ways about them that don’t sit well with me, I’ll end it from going any further. Someone I saw very briefly in my early twenties previously dated a girl that was probably bipolar & put him through shit, I would make comments like how I couldn’t believe he still stayed with her through all of that. And he pretty much implied I can’t understand why he did that because I’ve never been in love. I hate being spoken down to, condescension results in me dipping out asap. Again, I pump the brakes in any kind of interpersonal relationship. Am I naive in assuming I’m this way because I just have a strong personality? Or is it because I haven’t met the person that has me so enamored & it results in me being strung along? Thoughts? Similar experiences?