Should I 30F tell him 35?

[therebecca]

So I (30F) have been into this guy (35) for a while. My friends would tell me him was into me, going back to our text messages he would start convo out of nowhere asking to do lunch, he would randomly ask to hand out. He asked to be my plus one for my work Christmas party. But in my head he saw me as just a friend and perhaps his other friends were busy. I always thought he would never be into me, I short and a plus size. Since I’ve known him, I have seen him with thinner much more attractive women that like to wear makeup, go out, party. Where I am the opposite, I am a homebody, I like to go the museum, go to food events, I am not big on party or night clubs or raves. So I never let myself explore this. I’ve seen him on his IG he is with someone recently like maybe a month ago. I am sad and hurt more at myself for not expressing myself. I suppressed my feelings for fear of rejection. My friends have told me to let him know how I felt so I can move on. But would that be a good idea to tell him how I have felt for about 6 months?

[Oliverlogan263]

I can understand why you'd want to tell him how you feel since you've had these feelings bottled up for a while. But from my perspective, since he's now with someone else, bringing it up now could potentially make things awkward or uncomfortable between you guys.

Some things to consider - if he's in a new relationship, telling him your feelings could come across as disrespectful to his current situation, even if that's not your intention. It may also make hanging out as friends going forward feel weird or strained. Not to mention there's a good chance he'll say something like "I'm sorry, I don't feel that way" which may not provide the closure you're hoping for.

I'd say for now, try to keep focusing on moving on. Give yourself time to properly get over your feelings before hanging out with him again if it would be too difficult. Pursue other guys you're interested in to help take your mind off this. And if down the road he becomes single again and still enjoys your friendship, then maybe you could revisit telling him at a better time. But for right now, I don't think bringing it up would lead anywhere positive.

The most important thing is to start taking care of yourself - do things that make you happy, spend time with other friends, work on your confidence. You deserve to be with someone who sees how great you are from the beginning without hesitation! Hope this helps give you some perspective. Let me know if any part of this advice doesn't sit right with you.

[BarryLiverstone]

Not sure that it matters. Do you wanna stay stuck or not?