How do you distance yourself from an annoying bossy coworker whom got too comfortable with you?

[Zj9evtzndi]

So i have this coworker i think she's a lesbian but anyway she complains 24 7 about everything at work. So annoying. She thinks she's the boss but she's fairly new.
Im tired of playing nice. I wanted to be nice and cordial. But too many idiots take advantage of that at work and start getting too comfortable with me. Does she think i want to be her friend or something? Goodness gracious!

Today she basically asked me to do a task she could easily do herself. Like why did I have to do it? It wasn't time sensitive. She could have done it in under a minute herself or put it to the side and done it herself. The only explanation i have is that she is too comfortable with me.

I really need to stop being nice to people and acting friendly to peoplle i dont know at work. Cause then I get stuck with their bullcrap.

I dont go around bossing anyone around so why do that to me? She may be some arrogant individual who thinks she knows best way to do anything... Even though I have been here two years and she only a few months. And yet I dont stand around whining about everything at work, annoying everyone within earshot.

[DaySpring]

Be nice to her. Praise her, inside your mind. I'm serious. @zj9evtzndi Be very careful. Two wrongs don't make a right. There is no sound justification for wrongs. The effects will shower you regardless. A wrong is a wrong no matter the size and you may not know the effects; you may never know but I assure you they exist.

She has some overt character/personality flaws. This is a big moment for you to learn and grow. It is easy to play the victim and most people would but use this to become a better person. Be the change you want to see in the world. You can overcome this in 2 ways. The path is yours to choose. You can choose the easy way that leads to more wretchedness or you choose the way of growth that leads to something more.
The path is yours to choose. You wanna be someone who strives to better the world or one of those people who just live in it. The path is yours to choose. You can leave all the benefits, you're blind to, on the table and go back to your life or your can pick them up and had over to your new life. The choice is yours.

Be that 1 in a million. Light up the darkness. I know you can. The opportunities await you my friend.

[Zj9evtzndi]

I am interested in your theory but i need more explanation please

[SueShe]

You will have to start something that is probably against your own character and that is to learn to say no.

However, this change of attitude will come at a price because those that know you will also notice that you are no longer "Mrs. nice chick" and that may affect you probably more than you want to admit it.

This is the only way to change how people perceive you. Your first priority is to protect your sanity and your working environment. The more you say yes and are the nice person, the more people will take advantage of you. You may not make a lot of friends among your co-workers but you owe it to yourself not to be stepped on by the entire office. Good luck.

[Zj9evtzndi]

I should avoid her and her stupid small talk (its basically her complaining 24 7). I hate that i can't be me and not have these leeches attach to me.

[SueShe]

I get you. Some people just attract others like light attracts moths.

[Zj9evtzndi]

Thank you for your help. I think I do have to say no and not give and give to everyone. When people are asking me for things I don't owe them and they are ungateful anyway, I need to say no.

[SueShe]

If you are not used to saying no, it will be difficult in the beginning because you will have the feeling you are betraying the others but in fact you are protecting yourself from being misused for the sole benefit of others. Good luck.

[Zj9evtzndi]

Thanks you

[Vendela]

I had a similar situation happen actually. I have an employee that I trained at work and within the first hour of us meeting each other she was already telling me about other co-workers that she disliked there. Later the next day she somehow found my Snapchat and added me on there.
I removed her from my Snapchat and I professionally told her she was too new to be complaining about people here and she needed to just do her job.
I have a couple other stories about her being absolutely ridiculous but I'll save those for a rainy day.

[Zj9evtzndi]

Love your assertiveness in telling her that. And you were above her station so she couldn't really say anything

[Zj9evtzndi]

I just chalk it up to these types being narcissists

[Vendela]

Yes ma'am! I do actually think she is a narcissist

[Tleouaa]

Yup. And there are PLENTY of those running around. What confuses me is why the so called statistics say its mostly men that are N's... I know a lot of men can be but i dont think its more than how many females are narcissistic and unbearable.

[Changiis07]

You should be like I'm sorry I'm busy doing other things I won't be able to do that. You gotta start setting boundaries at work

[Zj9evtzndi]

Good idea thanks

[Secret6620]

Definitely distance yourself from her if possible.

You may even have to be straight forward and tell her exactly what your boundaries are in the workplace.

[Zj9evtzndi]

I can do it with silence. Not responding to her stupid endless complaining. I have a bad habit of nodding or giving some type of feedback that shows I am listening and agree whenever people talk to me. Apparently these unself aware idiots think that means I respect their opinion. When really I am just a shy nice person being a good listener. Can't do that these days!

[Secret6620]

💜💜