Unwelcomed touchy feely coworker?

[sparkplug]

Worked the weekend this week- I am really exhausted and frustrated. You see, I work with this man who- despite all the signals I have sent saying back off.. and literally saying back off - continues to touch me. It makes me very uncomfortable and I have said it to him before. He will rub my back and my neck, pinch at my arm and every time I would scoot away and give him the look of death. I don't know what else to say. He is well aware that I am in a serious relationship. But continues this behavior. I really don't want to have to bring this up with the supervisor because in the end it would make my job harder. I know because I have done it in the past. I really just don't see an alternative. Any ideas? And why does a guy continue to be this way even if he knows you are in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Is he single or in a relationship. If he is in a relation ship it might be a good idea to have a chat with the partner. If you have made it obvious with your body language and told him verbally and he still continues to do it. Start recording the conversations, keep a diary of everything that happens, give him a warning make it clear that his behaviour is unwanted, and affecting you and making you feel uncomfortable, give him a clear warning that if he doenst stop you take it up with a supervisor, if he still contiues give written notice to the supervisor, it he is not dealt with get a lawyer and go after the company and him. Don't put up with it. If you want to keep your job and avoid this guy maybe try transfering somewhere else, or quiting, if its that bad.

[sparkplug]

He is divorced or something.. I think. I really never cared enough to know. Honestly, I would consider transferring. Its hard to report someone that is buddies with everyone. I'm a nurse.. lots of women and only a few men- the men tend to have the run of all these ridiculous giggly nurses who think the flirting is cute. I do not. So making him an enemy begets me more enemies- this has happened before. Looking for an alternative way of dealing with it. Ugh.

[jtj25m]

The only thing I could think of short of telling the supervisor and getting his (_|_) fired, as you said you didn't want to do, is to possibly find something YOU could do to HIM that would make him just as uncomfortable as his actions make you. Although that itself might be uncomfortable for you as well depending on how you choose to do so. It's unfair that you have to deal with this behavior, is there anyway you could maybe threaten the higher ups with a possible sexual harrassment lawsuit against the man AND the company? They might start taking you more seriously and not giving you a hard time for sticking up for yourself at that point dear. >.<

[jtj25m]

As for the why, I am under the impression some people are just jerks out to make others miserable and have fun at others expense. No other real reason for such behavior o.O

[sparkplug]

Yea, I don't understand how he isn't picking up on the FCUK OFF sign I have written on my forehead. I was really just trying to put it aside/ignore it, do my work and go home.. but its gotten to a point that people are making comments about how he likes me. And it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know how to tell my boyfriend, without him having a freak attack. He would tell me to report him immediately- but the extra stress is not something I can handle right now. I'm so confused.

[jtj25m]

At this point, I honestly don't think it is a matter of him not picking up on anything. I think it is a matter of he just doesn't care. It sounds like you have made it abundantly clear how you feel, so unless he is mentally deficient, he has to just be a jerk=\ Is there anyway someone else could bring it to someones attention that could do something about it? Or would that cause issues too?

[sparkplug]

You know I didn't think of that, I could ask one of his groupies to say something to him.. I'm not ordinarily a mean person, but I think I have to step up the bitch switch with him.

[jtj25m]

Then they wouldn't necessarily have to know you were the one with the issue with him .

[jtj25m]

*kicks GaG* RUN QUICKER! maybe its just my computer. I was thinking more along the lines of a patient who owes you a favor for ...*fill in generic embarrassing thing you did for them* If you tell a groupie they may get you into the same situation you originally feared hon.

[sparkplug]

Haha.. I work vent/trache unit most of my patients are comatose or semi-comatose.. so no special favors for me!

[jtj25m]

Just an added thought here, it is in no way mean or bitc*y to demand the respect you should be afforded in the first place.

[jtj25m]

Those lazy ungrateful bastar*s!=P However you choose to deal with it I hope it works out for you dear. I have the utmost respect for those in your field and I cannot imagine the stress you're already under even without such crude behavior to deal with=\

[sparkplug]

Thank you- I think I'm gonna go try doing it this way and if all fails.. I guess I have to report him. And I should probably tell the bf.

[jtj25m]

O.O I honestly do have a great deal of respect for those in your field...I wasn't fishing for best answer!=P Hey, at the least if it comes to it, once you tell your boyfriend the jerk will get his (_|_) kicked. You can take some comfort in that right?=D

[jtj25m]

Oh, and you're welcome=P Pardon me my manners suffer in the wee hours of the morning when I should be sleeping but can't .

[OutOfMyElement43]

Haha! I'd hate to get your "Look of Death"

Don't report the complaint to your supervisor; report him to HR. HR will not release your name, unless formal disciplinary action is warranted. He'll get a cease and desist notice ordering him to stop his bad behavior, but your name will not be mentioned.

[Blackkid]

Contact the authorities; considering it's a crime ( and he may have a record ) you'll be better off contacting them than bothering with your supervisor who isn't doing anything anyway despite being obligated by law to do so. At worst: Restraining Order.

[palek]

Next time he does it, tell him flat out you've warned him enough, and the next time it happens he's gonna get reported. He's a loser, so don't give it a second thought.

[sparkplug]

I guess you are right, he isn't getting the point. Reporting him was last on my list. I really just didn't want to have this problem again with a co-worker. It makes a 12 hour shift extra extra long..

[palek]

Nothin' galls me more than insensitive dullards. Nothing short of a good slap gets their attention. He should be fired and ostracized. Good luck.