My coworker (same level as me) checks in with me like every day on tasks to see where I’m at and make sure I have progress. How to tell him off?

[Tinytina09]

It’s extremely annoying. We get emails every morning with questions from clients and we have to answer them, but I stay on top of them and make sure I don’t miss them. Anyway he like micromanaged me and asks if I see them like all the time! I get my work done so it’s frustrating. My boss also told me that if I have questions not to ask him and instead relay them to other members on the team instead. I’m tired of answering him but I feel like if I don’t he’ll like text me and act all concerned if I ignore him.

[Keyboardkat]

He may actually like you and thinks of this as a way to get to interact with you a lot and have you look up to him! He apparently doesn't realize that this is having the opposite effect. Or maybe he thinks he "knows more than you" just because you're a woman? That's archaic and reactionary! Next time he tries to "check up on you," tell him "It's fine, I've got this!"

[Tinytina09]

Thanks!! Yeah thing is I tell him that and he’s like “I know that you know. Just making sure” like he just wants everything to be a certain way.
Also-a possibility is since I’m flirting with another guy I work with maybe he told him I like him, so now it’s awkward because the 2 of them like me or something.

[Tinytina09]

@Keyboardkat yeah so what hurts is wow he’s only followed up with me and bothered me so much out of work about work things because it’s for his own expense. He only cares about himself and me doing my work so he looks good? But there’s NO correlation. We don’t do the same work.

[Jamesshinobi]

this is a question for your boss. thats what they are for. does his work depend on cooperation from you? if i check in with a coworker thats the only reason. if not your work is of no concern to him... well shouldn't be.

[Tinytina09]

No we seldom work together on anything. He’s also leaving in 2 weeks due to contract ending, and keeps being like “oh if you need anything please let me know I need you to understand what’s going on” but my manager tells me to ask other people for help. I don't know why he thinks he’s so vital to me being able to do my work here. Like we can work without him.

[Tinytina09]

He’s kind of a control freak. He “trained” me in this one piece of software we use daily and kept updating my team on my progress. One guy told me that he thought it seemed controlling and weird.

[Jamesshinobi]

Its def. weird. you are lucky they are leaving. if he was permanent you would have to get some intervention from the boss. do you have an HR department?

[Tinytina09]

Yeah she has told me he’s not a good role model for me. He’s soooo bossy. Like continually follows up on things, asks me if it’s ok if he takes a quick lunch, says brb over ping to me any time he steps away. Like it’s excessive. Maybe he likes me? I don't know but it’s very annoying.
My boss didn’t want to convert him to full time.

[Tinytina09]

Also, he was like “we can talk about it if you want. I know it might be stressful with me leaving so I get it” like WTF! LOL. Anytime I show him I’m annoyed he just still doesn’t grasp it, like I have boundaries.

[Tinytina09]

Also, I feel like I’m on rocky waters because he’s friends with a guy I’m dating so

[Xtendable]

He’s micro-managing you? That would be frustrating

[Tinytina09]

Yes he micro manages me. My own manager doesn’t even do that...

[Xtendable]

Why does this guy feel he has the right? Self-importance? Justifying his position?

[Tinytina09]

I’m getting so annoyed I can’t hide it. I don't know what he wants from me but he does it just to me.
Yes my boss even said he’s too overconfident.
He told me that he wants to help me because he had to manage himself. Still... I never asked.

[Xtendable]

Ever thought, he might have a crush on you?

[Tinytina09]

Maybe. And my theory is there’s another guy I am have been flirting with that we work with and he might have told him he likes me so now there’s some tension. I don't know? How do guys get if you and a friend like a girl?

[Xtendable]

Guys get competitive, and especially if they gave seniority (not necessarily authority), they think they can pull rank and order people around so they get to manipulate who works where.

[Tinytina09]

What I don’t get is he’s looking for a new job and has little time to be working on things we’re doing, so why the hell does he care if I’m getting things done or not?

[Xtendable]

He can’t let go, also fear of losing what control he thinks he has. How long intil he leaves?

[Tinytina09]

Well it annoys the fuck out of me. If I don’t reply to his messages of “all good?” “BRB” etc then he gets “concerned” and is all like “if you have any questions before I leave let me know how you feel about it” he thinks I’m going to struggle without him here LOL mg manager literally told me not to use him as a role model

[Xtendable]

So, what happens if you ignore him?

[Tinytina09]

I don't know I haven’t done that. I just don’t know why he wants to control me? Even another guy we work with said he seemed controlling towards me and that he doesn’t know what to think of him.

[Xtendable]

He’s infatuated with you. He doesn’t do it to anyone else, does he?

[Tinytina09]

No not that I know of. We met in person and he kinda stared at me and smiled for a bit when I wasn’t looking directly at him and has complimented me numerous times about how I’m funny, smart, resilient, good at everything I do, etc.
I wonder if the other guy we work with told him he likes me because we talk a lot over text?

[Xtendable]

It seems like it could be competitive

[Tinytina09]

I don’t get it. They could date other women outside of work I’m sure.

[Xtendable]

Guys are weird. They like to get territorial and monopolise on girls in any environment

[Tinytina09]

@Xtendable omg he texted me this morning. And asked “hey did that email ever go out?” Like why text me about it? This is really making me uncomfortable. This is the 4th time he’s asked about it since yesterday.

[Tinytina09]

@Xtendable he just told me that he wants to make sure I’m doing my work so he can uphold his reputation at our company.

[Xtendable]

His reputation must suck then, if it all relies on what you do and not his own achievements. Anyway, that’s just bullshit. He just wants an excuse to contact you

[Beautiful_loser30]

My wife is sleeping with her colleague 😞

[Keyboardkat]

I'm really sorry to hear that, but what does that have to do with the question?