I have been working in my new job for about six months and I’ve just passed probation. There is a colleague who works a level above me so sometimes she is responsible for handing over work to me to get done. She told me before that she has an obsessive personality but it is starting to grate on me.
What is really annoying me is how nosey she is being about what work exactly it is I am doing. She has admitted to going on my personal schedule and having a look at it to be nosey. It’s starting to feel suffocating. Usually before I have even logged on she will message me asking how I am and how my weekend was and then asking me about what work I’ve got set to do and giving me lots of tasks to do. I am starting to feel overwhelmed.
The other day I was at an event and wasn’t working on any tasks specifically and she sent me a message on Teams asking me what exactly I was working on that day and then said “I’m just being nosey”
Then the other day I had to put up a boundary with her because she was being so overbearing with me and I was polite about it and said I had too many deadlines and tasks to action any of her work she had given me. And then she sent me another message saying ‘what work are you exactly doing right now?’ But then deleted the message straight away.
She will message me multiple times a day it feels so excessive and when I ignore her messages she will double or triple message me and then send me loads of emails pointing out all my mistakes and making all these nitpicking criticisms
A few days ago I was working on my probation review which is confidential between me and my manager and the coworker messaged me asking if I wanted her to look through it or if I wanted any help with it
Why is she constantly harassing me at work? How do I cope with this?
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Wow, that coworker sounds like a total control freak and major micro-manager! No wonder it's getting on your nerves. A few thoughts on how to handle it:
- Set clear boundaries. Politley let her know you can't respond to messages or take on extra work when you're already busy. Stick to it even if she double texts.
- Talk to your manager. Say the constant nitpicking messages are disruptive to your work and you'd like their support setting limits. See if they can address it with her.
- Document everything in case it escalates. Screenshot messages showing her harassing behavior in case you need to make a formal complaint.
- Don't let her get under your skin! Easier said than done, I know. But try not to feel intimidated or like you have to prove anything to her.
- Focus on doing your job well. Let your work speak for itself rather than giving her ammunition by getting rattled.
- Avoid one-on-one interactions if possible. Keep communication professional and limited to work topics only.
Hope some of that helps take the power away from her nosiness! You've got this - stand up for yourself without losing your cool. Fingers crossed she backs off soon!
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