I’m trying to quit my volunteer job. I’ve been on the organizing team for 7 years. My coworkers get mad every time I want to quit. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

[Ladybugharp]

100% leave. You have seven years of experience as a volunteer, which is undoubtedly valuable. You literally could go and volunteer anywhere with anyone else.

The fact you're pent-up and worried they would disrespect you and get angry at you for leaving is even more of a reason to go. Your self-worth is worth more. Do you.

[kylee2437]

Do what is best for you. Staying somewhere where you aren’t happy is not good for you and holding you back from happiness.

[Asker]

This girl I worked with called me and was made that I quit once and said that I “bailed.” Meanwhile she never showed up for meetings and was traveling all over. It used to be fun but now the team just sucks.

[kylee2437]

You can bail any situation that isn’t making you happy whenever you please. Will you burn bridges? Maybe , but if you burn bridges for doing something that will make you happier, it seems worth it to me.

[Asker]

They don’t appreciate anything I like ever do for the team anyway. They’re just mad I left cuz now someone won’t be doing their work for them.

[kylee2437]

Right, so go somewhere where you feel heard

[Asker]

What about them being frustrated with me and calling me out for it? It’s uncomfortable. I’ve told them several times it’s hard for me to commit to it and that I’ll have to step back.

[kylee2437]

Ignore it. You don’t need to explain yourself or feel like you need to people please. Not every situation works out in your favor in terms of keeping people happy with you.

[Asker]

Lol at this point in my life if I’m going to do work this hard I want to be paid for it.

[Asker]

I love helping others but these orgs can be exhausting.

[kylee2437]

As you should

[Anonymous]

Quit!!! That is your choice. I don’t even know by this is a question. Exercise your autonomy. If they were real friends they’d support you, unless you were dating some drug addict or an abusive person. May I ask why you want to quit?

[Asker]

I just really don’t like the team and the vibe. It used to be a different group of people before when I started. Now the rules and standards are scattered and there’s a lot of entitlement/not thinking the rules apply to certain people.

[Opinion Owner]

I know just what you mean. Yes you either quit or keep complaining about it to which I really don’t think at that point you’re entitled to an opinion. I say that because like I tell my kids, either quit or stop talking about it cause you’re not making the changes to make it better for yourself. You gotta go where you’re happy. If you’re not happy there then leave. That place will still function w or w out you, your “friends” will survive.

[Asker]

Yeah I see what you mean thanks! And yeah the biggest conflict I have is that I have been on it for so long and want to devote my life/time to other matters, and I feel like I’m always stuck/have to stay because other people say they won’t have the time to devote a lot.

[Opinion Owner]

You’ve done 7 years there. Don’t feel as though you have to pick up for the lack of understaffing. That is not your fault. What kind of life is that. Helping to make others happy when you’re not happy yourself. Always gotta take care of number one first before you can take care of others. If you’re in the gutter so to speak than you won’t be able to devote yourself to others 100%. What kind of volunteer service is it?

[Asker]

How do I tell them in a cold-cut no I am not continuing this work despite any other conversations”? I can’t be like nice and flexible anymore and give any hope. I have to tell them “actually I’m sorry I don’t have the time”

[Opinion Owner]

You really don’t need to offer an explanation. But if You feel like you need to offer an explanation just say you need to work on some things at the moment, mainly yourself. That you’ve kind of been neglecting yourself so it’s time to regroup yourself. I really don’t think you need to offer an explanation. You don’t want to obviously say well I hate it here, management t sucks, people get away w what they want, etc. Just keep it short, brief, don’t burn those bridges.

[Asker]

Definitely. Just that’s what I did before - I told two guys I work with that I had a personal issue come up and have to quit and then this girl I work with FaceTimes me and tells me I bailed and she’s upset.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok well if they’re making you feel guilty about your decisions than maybe it’s best you don’t work there. You do what’s best for you. At the end of the day these fools aren’t going to take care of you. Don’t feel bad for making a decision that’s going to potentially make your life better. Sounds as though you do way too much that they depend on you to do everything cause of their lack of responsibility. If I was you I’d grow a pair figuratively speaking, do what you need to do. What you going to do? Stay there the rest of your life miserable, not bettering yourself? You married?

[Asker]

Yeah and that’s a good point! I’m also at a point in my life where I accomplished so much for my age and my relationships/friendships are taking off. I have good people in my life and want to work on that and things I love.

[Opinion Owner]

So then do it. You’ve only got one life. Many people complain that their life sucks. That they have all the bad luck or god hates them or whatever excuse they put in their head to blame others for the lack of responsibility. Make your life good. Do what you need to do. For you as well as for your family. Your boyfriend? Husband? If you had a friend who came to you w this same question what would you tell them? That’s how I usually answer a lot of my own questions.

[slatyb]

It's a volunteer job. Just say "I'm taking a break for a while." Then stop going. Maybe some people will be disappointed or angry. So what? You didn't sign up for life. Volunteers come and go.

[abc3643]

Well, before we can better answer this, tell us WHY you want to quit.

[Asker]

The people are disrespectful and every time I voice opinions a few of them will chime in and disagree with me so I feel kind of out numbered. The team used to be different when I started and with different people.

[abc3643]

Then just leave - albeit politely.

Look, what has happened is that you have a bad chemistry now with your coworkers although, apparently from their perspective, that's not so otherwise they'd be happy to see you go.
So, this bad chemistry, so to speak, is your issue, not theirs. So, you may be a bit immature here. Something you need to realize is that, wherever you work or who you date or in any kind of relationship, there is going to be differences. You have to accept that. And, yes, you may lose some or most of them. Often, that's the case with young people who are relatively inexperienced.

OK, I am beginning to ramble, but I will say these two things which may seem contradictory:

1. Life is too short to let yourself be surrounded by unpleasant people.
>>> So, this would tell you to leave and find something better (*).

2. The only thing in life that doesn't change is change itself.
>>> So, whatever situation you are in there is temporary; it will change and likely for the better at some point. That's life.

(*) If you are volunteering, this means that you are not getting paid. You should feel less guilt about leaving. However, since you could conceivably use these people as references, you need to leave on amicable terms. So, find a decent (and truthful) reason to leave and then do so. Preferably this means that you find (another?) job which pays.

Understand?

[Surely]

Unfortunately at those times. You don’t get appreciated until someone else has to do your job. Don’t be ashamed to find something that makes you feel good while doing it.

[Asker]

It used to be so much fun when the people on the team were good. Now it sucks.

[MementoMori777]

Quit lol, it's free, they have no rights to complain about anything

[Asker]

It used to be fun when I started and the people were great. Now everyone sucks and complaints and I hate it.

[MementoMori777]

They aren't paying you, if you are going to be abused by a job, it's best to at least yet paid for it

[MementoMori777]

Get*

[Asker]

Yeah all the people I loved working with left :/ there was this bitchy girl on the team and I quit once and she FaceTimes me and calls me out saying I bailed.

[MementoMori777]

I'm assuming you do all the work

[Asker]

I did literally almost all the work for prior conferences. And felt used a lot. And I had a mental health crisis this year from my regular job and then this so I quit and was called out for it.

[MementoMori777]

Obviously they are mad then, they don't want to do anything, let them do the work, we should always avoid a toxic environment, it's completely normal

[Asker]

Thanks for understanding. Yeah my mental health went to shit and I’m realizing most people you work with really don’t care about you, but the bottom line.

[MementoMori777]

Yea I don't make friends at work, it's not the proper environment to make friends anyways

[Sour-rose]

Just quit. And I mean just say "to hell with this" and go eat at olive garden.

[SnowedIn]

Don't go back. It's that simple.

[panamared1]

Please yourself