I'm working on my PhD in astrophysics, and I have a theory that we can travel to the sun, just as long as we go at night when it cools down. Agree?

[Revvl6pro]

Updates

+1 y

Wow! My deleted question about traveling to the sun was put back up! Why? It wasn't a dick question or a poop question, so why was it worthy of putting it back up? I could see it if it was an incest question or stupid "how do I look" question, but jokes have no place on this site. Please take it back down. Idiocracy needs to be preserved and cherished on GAG.

[SnowedIn]

@revvl6pro ... I think you're looking at this all wrong. You need to go on the dark side that's not facing Earth. I thought everyone knew that.

[Revvl6pro]

Dang, I never thought of that. Ten Jew Berry Mud!

[SnowedIn]

I'm here to help you on this journey through life...

[Revvl6pro]

This dialog is from a businessman staying at a hotel in Asia. Supposedly it's true, but it doesn't really matter. Next time your wife pours you a cup of coffee or anything along those lines... say "Ten Jew Berry Mud."

Hotel: Morny, ruin sorbees.
Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
Hotel: Rye! Ruin sorbees... morny! Jewish to odor sunteen?
Guest: Uh... yes... I'd like some bacon and eggs.
Hotel: Ow July den?
Guest: What?
Hotel: Ow July den... pry, boy, pooch?
Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
Hotel: Ow July dee baychem... crease?
Guest: Crisp will be fine.
Hotel: Hokay. An San toes?
Guest: What?
Hotel: San toes. July San toes?
Guest: I don't think so.
Hotel: No? Judo one toes?
Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means.
Hotel: Toes! Toes! ... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?
Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
Hotel: We bother?
Guest: No, just put the bother on the side.
Hotel: Wad?
Guest: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
Hotel: Copy?
Guest: Sorry?
Hotel: Copy... tea... mill?
Guest: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.
Hotel: One Minnie. Ass strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye?
Guest: Whatever you say.
Hotel: Ten Jew berry mud.
Guest: You're welcome.

[SnowedIn]

Damn. Wow.

[Revvl6pro]

I just copied and pasted that. It's all over the web. lol

[SnowedIn]

No worries. Just chuckling. Have never seen that one.

[Curmudgeon]

The girl has that Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez posing look about her.

[Revvl6pro]

I'm also studying the effects of cow farts.

[LiamJHayden]

lol Just put lots of wokesterisms into your thesis and you'll probably get it.

[Revvl6pro]

The pilot will be a transgender illegal alien with an extensive criminal history. Is that good?

[Andres77]

👍👍👍

[LiamJHayden]

"Here's your Ph. D. and a professorship. Oh, by the way, the offer comes with automatic tenure."

[CubaPirate]

Don't forget to go in winter the nights are colder and longer giving you more time to get there

[Revvl6pro]

Great idea!

[CubaPirate]

🤣🤗🤗👍

[exitseven]

yes, at night the sun goes dark and you can land on it and walk around for a while. I would make sure you are out of Dodge an hour before sunrise.

[MrCommodore]

I respectfully disagree 😂, but good luck with that.

[Revvl6pro]

You wanna go along?

[MrCommodore]

Only if my factor 10,000 sunblock arrives on time, although I probably won't need it at night.

[Revvl6pro]

Brilliant! You won't need the sunscreen at night, but it's smart to bring it. Because if our alarm clocks don't go off in the morning, you're going to need it.

[MrCommodore]

Cool, it's agreed then 😎

[Summeroflove]

Interesting. But you know the sun doesn’t go off at night like a nightlight

[Andres77]

Trust the science!

😉

[Revvl6pro]

cdn.vox-cdn.com/.../fauci.jpeg

I very much trust the science.

[Andres77]

They thought you were putting out false information and then got the joke. Now they regret it because you called them out on it, otherwise they were hoping no one would notice.
That’s my theory.

[Revvl6pro]

You can't tell jokes or use sarcasm on this site. Your would be spending at least a week explaining it.

[Andres77]

Some people can z use it as a litmus test…
I tell a few jokes to see how smart people are on occasion. Just watch the expression on their faces

[Revvl6pro]

For me it's just gotten too painful to attempt on this site. I posted a joke about deer crossing signs, and one ding dong told me that deer can't read. lol

[Andres77]

Isn’t that part of the fun though?
I fell for a few of those when I first joined.
@purplepoppy is a master (mistress?) of sarcasm and creative wit.
Go seek out the master, young grasshopper, and she will show you the way.
Seriously though, you’ll bust a gut reading her creative stuff and watching people overreact to it.
She’s a real hoot.

[Revvl6pro]

She is good at it. But most of my questions get deleted, anyway.

[purplepoppy]

Blonde sits in first class on plane to australia despite only having a second class ticket. She refuses to budge claiming pretty privilege. Eventually someone whispers in her ear and she immediately goes to the back of the plane. He's asked what he whispered and replies, "just simply told the woman that the front half of the plane wasn't going to Australia"

Now, go girl, turn the old joke into a question

[Revvl6pro]

@purplepoppy
A guy on this site asked if you had the ability to fly, would you want wings or do it with telekinesis like superman. Everyone told him that humans can't fly. He quit the site the same day he joined.

If I asked your question, people would explain how plane flight works, and that the entire plane can only go in one direction.

A blonde goes up to a soda machine and puts in a dollar, and a soda can comes out.
She gets excited and does it again. Another can comes out. She starts jumping up and down and tries again.

Man: Why are you so excited?
Blonde: Because I keep winning!

A five year old would get the joke, but there aren't all that many on this site.

[purplepoppy]

So true. I've seen that so many times

[Revvl6pro]

@purplepoppy

I wanted to ask this joke, but I don't think I could bear the agony of people explaining to me how pizza works.

Husband: Can you eat a whole pizza?
Wife. Yes.

Husband: Would you ask them to cut it into 8 slices or 12?
Wife. 8

Husband: Why not 12?
Wife. Because I can't eat that much pizza.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2ST6uApZ7k

[purplepoppy]

Ask it as a poll. How many slices of pizza can you eat.

[Revvl6pro]

@purplepoppy

It's all yours. lol
Ask away.

I have another one for you to ask.

"Why is my boyfriend so stupid at math?"

My boyfriend asked me how long it would take to go 80 miles, if the car was going 80 miles per hour.
I told him that it depends, because trucks are slower than other cars and have bigger tires. And sports cars can go really fast. And if I'm in good shape, I can run a mile in 8 minutes, but if I'm out of shape, it could take longer. He's so stupid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qhm7-LEBznk

[Andres77]

Do you know why girls are generally not good at estimating distance?
Because they’ve been told all their lives that 6” is a foot.

[Revvl6pro]

Wait, what? 6 inches isn't a foot?

[Andres77]

Uh oh, someone’s boyfriend is in trouble!😉

[Revvl6pro]

Women also don't know directions. They will say: "When you drive down 3rd avenue, I'm on the left side of the road.' That reminds me of a joke about chickens.

[Figurine89]

Honestly, some of the dumbest questions on this site, I don't know who does it more, women or men

[Revvl6pro]

Yes, but at least all the replies are from the Mensa crowd like you.

[Figurine89]

Haha, I wasn't really replying, just pointing it out

[Usher55]

Does studying such a considerable science cause any headaches or hardships?

[Revvl6pro]

Not headaches, but mostly hardships. I miss out on all the fun parties because of my dedicated research.

[Usher55]

I'm sorry to hear that, however Astrophysics is a party in and of itself! Would it happen that you by any means know how can foreigners get to major in it/PhD in the U. S? Is there like a night school / an equivalent of high school for foreign applicants, or is it solely restricted to natives?
And do you get to work with Nasa / Space X/ else upon graduation?
Excuse my prolonged inquiries, but it would much appreciated should they be answered to.

[Revvl6pro]

Elon Musk is going to hire me.

[Usher55]

Well that's just kudos to you 👍

[Guardian45]

Agreed! HAHAHA!!!😂🤣🤪👍

[Revvl6pro]

My space shuttle will swing by and pick you up.

[Guardian45]

GREAT! What tine?

[Guardian45]

Time**

[Revvl6pro]

February 3rd a 9:00 PM.

[Guardian45]

I'm marking my calander! EST?

[Revvl6pro]

The flight will only offer chicken or fish, so if neither are good, bring your own food.

[Guardian45]

Nope! I'm good! Eastern Standard Time?

[Revvl6pro]

Yes. No need to bring a jacket or coat, because it will still be pretty warm up there.

[Guardian45]

Ok! I'm bringing my swimming trunks, just in case there's a pool nearby!

[Revvl6pro]

I'm pretty sure there are a few, but not much water in them because of the daytime heat.

[Guardian45]

So evening swims then?

[Revvl6pro]

Yes. During the day you would need four gallons of sunscreen.

[Guardian45]

Are you supplying it?

[Revvl6pro]

The space craft can hold up to 100 gallons of sunscreen. That should be enough depending on how many passengers we have.

[Guardian45]

Perfect!👍

[Guardian45]

I've always envied Daedalus and Lazarus!

[Sixgunsound]

AOC is that you?

[Carolus]

1000%