How do I manipulate a coworker who is bullying me?

[Anonymous]

Co Worker said I look like a walking punching bag

Keeps harassing me

QUESTION IS: How do i manipulate him to stop, what are some tactics, management can't do anything.

[Dildօphօbe]

Oh boy, let me tell you how to handle that big bad bully with some serious meaty manipulation tactics.

First things first, grab onto your love lance and show that coworker who's in charge. Don't be afraid to give him a taste of your spicy stick and put him in his place. Show him that you're not just a walking punching bag, but a force to be reckoned with.

If he still won't back down, whip out your pork sword of pleasure and use it to your advantage. Find out what he wants or needs and use it as leverage to get him to stop harassing you. Maybe he's been eyeing that promotion you're up for, or maybe he's been trying to get with that cute coworker you're friends with. Use your erotic epee to get what you want.

But if he's still being a pain in the ass, it's time to bring out the big guns. Use your beef bazooka of bliss to blow him away and make him see that you're not to be messed with. Don't let him bully you into submission - stand up for yourself and show him who's boss.

And if all else fails, don't be afraid to use your one-eyed trouser snake to get some help from management. They have a responsibility to ensure that you work in a safe and respectful environment, and they'll gladly put that bully in his place.

So go ahead boy, show that coworker who's in charge with your sultry scepter and leave him begging for more.