What it mean when coworker tries to bully you?

[Rebecka33]

A coworker whos 19 tries to bully me by telling me how to do my job. Im 45 started working in 1990 and she's 19and still lives at home with her daddy. What would be a good response to a work bully.

[zeitgeist057]

It means she is 19, and this is likely her first job or one of her first jobs, and as children do, she is testing her boundaries. Trying to figure out her place in the heirarchy, who she can boss around, what she can get away with, etc.

If you want her to stop, you are going to need to establish some consequences for her actions such as reporting her to HR or her manager, and/or giving her feedback on her safety practices around dysphagia clients that she may not have any experience with.

People will do what they are allowed to do and what they can get away with. If your response to her bullying is to quietly do as she tells you, or to quit your job, she is going to keep doing it as there is no negative consequence.

[Rebecka33]

True and she does have dysphagia so ya i gues best to be nice about it yet firm.

[sunflower00]

Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re better or know what you’re doing more than the 19 year old. She’s probably not bullying you, but rather trying to correct you and you’re taking it personally because she’s younger and you think she’s stupid.


I’m 21 and I have a 50 something year old coworker, we started around the same time but I always have to correct him because he does things wrong often. It’s important for the business that things are done correctly, and I want to help him learn and be able to do things right. I saw you mentioned that the 19 year old is a coworker and not your boss so she shouldn’t be correcting you - I don’t go to my boss when someone needs corrected, it’s also easier helping him myself than taking it to higher management, that would likely embarrass him a bit and it’s unnecessary most of the time when I can quickly help him out.

[sunflower00]

Also there’s nothing wrong with a 19 year old living at home with their parents? That doesn’t mean they’re any less intelligent? It’s normal to live with your parents at 19, and they’re probably trying to save their money

[Rebecka33]

Thanks for your input however it wasn't so much what she said rather the way she said it especially since she's not my boss. I am not saying she wasn't half way right on a couple things that werent told to me however I want hurting anyone on the jjob it was more or less teaching independence and I aired on the side of caution and they aired 9nnside of teaching vs independence. I have a 4 yr college degree in the field and worked in it since 1990 so i couldve been a maanger alreasy just chose not to because i dont have the time i just fill that shouldn't give someone right to treat me any less then I would treat them.

[sunflower00]

She probably didn’t mean for it to come across wrong and was just trying to correct you, it doesn’t matter if you weren’t hurting anyone you can still be doing something wrong. I understand you have a degree and have been working in the field for a while but things are constantly changing and people need to keep constantly learning the right ways to do things and so on, and she probably felt it was unnecessary to bring in your boss when she could quickly correct you

[Rebecka33]

Thats true she was right about a few things and wil orobably be a boss soon herself maybe mine lol however I guess it wa smore her tone maybe my problem is i take things personal when it isn't suppoosed to be and I just need to chill. Maybe she is pkanning on being a boss and she also is going to school and thinks im way younger. Iguess if she's right no sense in geting uoset just acknowledge and say thank you.

[Rebecka33]

And maybe tel her my age lol so she knows lol dont have to wrroy about me lol by time she's my age i may be dead lol.

[Rebecka33]

Il be 80 when she's my age lol.

[UniquelyBasic]

If you're not doing the job right then her telling you how to do it isn't bullying.

[Rebecka33]

she's not my. boss. she's. mu. coworker and im not. hurting anyone quite the. opposite. shed rather me neglect them.

[Rebecka33]

For example instead of letting someone choke on their food i was cutting up for them. then they said that i wasn't suposed to help. them. do that

[Rebecka33]

Help them. not. choke. basically.

[UniquelyBasic]

I mean its a good gesture to cut up the customers food but I dont think you're supposed to do that though.

[Rebecka33]

Then because i told. thrmt. ocquit hurasing me they started tocacuse me if putting red dye int her drink.

[Rebecka33]

Thats when i got pissed because that was definetely not proffesional at. all 25. years. older. thrn her. and she had no right.

[Rebecka33]

Wel if they choked on their food then id be cjarged with neglect. and il be dang if im gona go to jail for manslaughter over a 19 yrmold.

[Rebecka33]

So to be hones t with you ya i think better to chop up food and not listen to my coworker if it could help someone from choking.

[UniquelyBasic]

If its too much of an issue then find another job then.

[Rebecka33]

Heck no I've been working in the field since 1990 and have a 4 yr degree in it not gona let some kid bos me around.

[Rebecka33]

I might transfer though to nother job site just same field differwnt people lol..

[slatyb]

Just say "I think I've got it."

[Guardian45]

STFU, UC!