Dojo Girls pt 3: Why does this happen and what am I feeling?

[JHNS98]

A month and a half ago, I was at another martial arts camp, sparring with another girl. I even stood/sat beside her at the final assembly, after which the two of us got up and shared a hug. During that hug, I felt my heart race.

This has happened once before. I was standing in line for a club with my university classmates, and this girl - who I never found out who she is, by the way - came up to me and just randomly hugged me.

Anyway, when I came home from the camp, I found myself thinking about her for the first week or so. Thinking ahead to the next camp in November, what should I do?

Sould I tell her how I felt and that I want to feel this again? Does this sound weird? Why does this happen, and does it raise red flags? I mean, surely the implied lack of interaction would tell her something...

Appendix - Camp assemblies

At the start and end of each martial arts camp, every participant and instructor assembles in grade order. The introductory assembly introduces th einstructors and camp crew/staff. The final assembly includes acceptance speaches towards the participants, instructors and crew; as well as a awards ceremony. At the end of every assembly, we all get seated in seiza for a final ceremonial greeting to the highest graded instructor, which in this case was the head of our style.

Below is a photo of a seated greeting after a training session. Imagine this, but with 400 people in a proper high school sports hall.

. Photo: Ju-Jutsu Kai, Swedish Ju-Justu Association (2017)

It was after this final ceremony when the girl came up to me and hugged me goodbye.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I think maybe you’re just a little touch-starved and because she was a woman, you felt like it had to be some kind of attraction, not that this woman you don’t know wouldn’t hug you for the sake of it. I imagine you haven’t really experienced any platonic hugs with women outside of maybe hugging your mom. Don’t let that confuse what you perceive to be her intentions.

[JHNS98]

Yeah, I'm very touch-starved indeed. Heck, I don't even remember the last platonic hug I shared with a girl/woman before the one I'm talking about now... No, I actually do, and it was a good while ago.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yeah, that’s likely affecting your perception of her actions. Besides, you can’t get in touch with her, even if you could confirm it I think we’ve figured out the answer to why things seemed to go down the way they did

[JHNS98]

Should I at least tell her how I felt about the hug at the next camp in November? I could try to find her before the inauguration assembly, you know.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Do it if that’s what you want, makes no difference to me

[TheSpaceGnome]

You have a crush, its normal, if you like her, tell her.

[JHNS98]

What should I tell her? I want as little risk of rejection as possible. I don't want to ask her out, only for her to tell me that she has a boyfriend or is seeing someone. I'm shy, and therefore really bad at approaching girls that I like/am interested in, hence my risk reasoning.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Unfortunately, in order to let someone know you like them, you have to risk rejection.
The hug means good odds though.

[JHNS98]

Maybe so, but I think there also could be a bit of touch deprivation involved. @cupcakethedestroyer might be onto something. How do I know which is the dominant factor in this interaction?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't even understand what you mean by touch deprivation, its not like how much physical contact you have effects whether or not you like someone.
Either you like her or you don't, no one can figure that out for you, but it should be obvious.

[JHNS98]

But the state of touch deprivation might make any romantic feelings be somewhat obscured by that feeling that arises from being touched by a woman; be it relief, calmness or whatever it may be. As for I don't really care that much about whether she likes me back at this stage, I just want to know what I feel so that I know how to act come November when I meet her again.

[The_Sexpert]

Focus on the training

[JHNS98]

Frankly, this probably won't distract me an awful lot. I don't even think about her that much now - he says after spending 3 hours writing nearly 2000 words abut her and the general topic...

I just wanted to know if I should tell her and how.

[The_Sexpert]

Just go for it and ask her out
Do not ask her for a sparring , because you'll end up hurting and scaring her
Just ask out for a coffee or something

[JHNS98]

I forgot to say that I'm not really interested in her, hence the "what did I really feel" thing. That being said, I probably still might ask if she's going to the camp dinner. Probably not the most romantic setting, but then again I don't really want romantic with her right now.

More about camp dinners can be found here: Why does this happen? What do I decide? ↗

[The_Sexpert]

Well if you're thinking about her so much you do seem to be interested in her
I think you'll understand what you're feeling more better if you have a good convo with her

[JHNS98]

Yeah, if our schedules match and if I find the courage. I forgot to mention that me and her won't be training in the same grade group since I won't take the examination for the next grade this semester, and she will. I asked her about that after the last session during last camp. To be honest, I don't even lnow if I'm actually thinking about her or just thinking back to how I felt when we hugged?