How can I be more assertive at work?

Question

The managers son , who Is 20, has started my place of work. However, he's started talking down to me and belittling me but in a covert way. So it's not something I can report or I'd seem paranoid and foolish. I have no idea how to deal with the situation with him being the managers son.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't know where you work, but on the corporate level, I wouldn't say anything at first. They would comment here, comment there. Cool. Brush it off, but if it kept going, I would bring said employee in my office with another person on my management team, and address them directly by making them MY FAVORITE!!! I would put the power in their hands if they always had something to say, so here was there chance to say it.

It would go something like, "you said on Aug 8, I don't work hard enough. On August 12, you felt I could have done this better. On Sept 1, according to you, I wouldn't be your first choice of manager. Noted. Now, I'm all about working on improving how we work as a team, and clearly your comments are coming from somewhere, so I'd like you to break it down for us, what you think we could improve on together to make this team more efficient. You and I will write down your suggestions and together try and find solutions because I never want you to feel as though you are not being seen or heard in this organization and my other manager will put it in his report as well. Afterwards, I'll keep checking back with you to make sure we're making progress in your suggestions for improvement. How does that sound?"

This worked on several levels. One, I had a witness who if push comes to shove, could verify that I met with the employee and discussed his issues privately. Second, it put it on him---if I'm the problem, then what are the solutions if there even are any? Writing them down and having them literally sign off on them, made it clear, I had tried to help in the situation if they did have a legitimate complaint or ways to improve. I would even go so far as to have someone explain in cases, why what they wanted could not be done, because it's easy to blame someone when you don't know why they can't do what you want. I didn't need to get in there face and yell or act like, "ooo you're just an employee, how dare you,"...nope...talk it out.

4ngelic · Accepted Answer

just dont let him do that to you, simples. the same way you would if he wasn't your manager's son. the only diff is that you need to make sure you go about that in a way that won't get you fired, and where you dont look like the bad guy. you could also go talk to your manager privately and tell him about how his son is treating you. maybe that could fix it. and at least if it doesn't, you can be more bold with him because his dad will be less likely to view you as a villain. if your too scared to try shit at work or to get his dad involved, just wait till your off work in a situation where he's there. you can confront him heads on on is behavior, or you could just wait for him to interract with you and when he does show him you dont like him and that you're not a pushover

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Why do you need to be assertive? Just because someone insults you does not mean they are right. Also think about the flipside. Instead of thinking about how he belittled you, think about how him feeling the need to try to belittle you makes HIM look. To the outside observer it actually makes him look weak. Because he needs to do that to make him appear strong. Which actually just reinforces how weak he is. And and everyone can see it. If I knew I was capable and the guy did that to me I'd just kind of chuckle. Know your strength. Be fierce. You're going to run into these situations in life. If you know what you're doing and he doesn't he'll eventually be found out. The fact that he's the managers son is concerning though. Normally I wouldn't advise leaving a job. Because you can't spend your life running. But running from a toxic situation that WILL NOT get better is not a wrong move.

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

Use your experience to your advantage. You’re going to have to fight a little dirty.

the best thing to do is to position yourself as the person who will get him what he wants. Which seems to be respect.

What kind of place do you work at?

MisterWack · Answer

Just tell him, “I don’t appreciate your tone” or “I’m sorry, what did you say? I demand respect!”
You could also try your best to avoid him if you don’t want confrontation / are worried that the manager’s son will tell on you getting you fired which is understandable.

AviatorTom · Answer

Do not, repeat do not, validate him getting away with things because he is the manager's son. Tell him you don't like what he's doing, as you would to any other co-worker. If he doesn't change, talk to your boss about it, and escalate if needed until you get the respect you deserve as an employee. And if that never happens, it's time to find a new job.

avery58 · Answer

Talk to him. Tell him that as a coworker you've been getting a certain impression from him in his approach to working with you, that you would like to ask if there's something wrong because you want a cooperative and respectful coworker relationship.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well it sounds like you were there before him you got hired for that job so you must know what you're doing so you're not going to beat him so join him. Always be looking 20 steps ahead to the next move help him succeed and it's the same time you will succeed

noohair · Answer

It is hard for you. It is an example of the corporate culture at the place you work. I have tried to push back on corporate culture at work and got crushed. If the issue where I work is a "corporate culture" issue, I have 2 choices, deal with it or move on.

OddBeMe · Answer

Good Q. First, that doesn’t mean be more bitchy. It means knowing what’s right for you and standing up for yourself, of course. It also means being more “active” about gaining what you want. Be it salary, power, etc.

BadApple69 · Answer

Secretly record him. Then if he talks crap you let him know (later on) that you’ve recorded him.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Start EVERY sentence with, “Listen up, bitches!”

Anonymous · Answer

Just be more aggressive

How can I be more assertive at work?

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