College peers have ditched me to study by themselves?

[Anonymous]

So we have busy schedules. We decided a day we could meet to study, but it wasn’t a definite for me as I have am having a plumber coming to my flat at a time that isn’t fixed. The studying is happening during the day time during college hours. I’ve offered if they can come to my place for a few hours after college or at weekends but there is one team member who won’t do it outside college hours so nobody is coming to mine.

I’m pretty annoyed that they’re meeting without me. What do you guys think, are they abandoning me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ahh girl that really sucks, I can see why you'd be annoyed! It's supposed to be a team effort and studying together is way more fun than alone. I don't think they're fully abandoning you, but definitely not being very considerate of your schedule either. A few thoughts:

- Talk to them calmly and say how their decision made you feel left out. Compromise is key in group projects.

- Maybe you could join via video call if your plumber doesn't interfere? At least you could still participate.

- Is this friend usually bossy about what works for her schedule only? Watch out for that.

- Make sure to study hard on your own too so you're not behind if they go without you again.

- Suggesting weekend/evening times again couldn't hurt - some may be more flexible once they realize how it affects you.

Don't get too annoyed just yet. Communicate your feelings and see if they're willing to work with you more going forward. If not, might need to rethink who you partner with! You've got this girl.

[Anonymous]

“We decided a day we could meet to study, but it wasn’t a definite for me”.


The reason why after this point isn't relevant because regardless of the cause — you being able to study wasn’t definite, and they can’t base these plans around your unpredictable schedule for that day. Especially if you’re all very busy, that may have been their only time to study and they just couldn’t accommodate you. It happens.



“I’ve offered if they can come to my place for a few hours after college or at weekends but there is one team member who won’t do it outside college hours so nobody is coming to mine.”


Another accommodation that just doesn’t work. You’re not wrong at for suggesting this but it sounds like it’s not going to happen. So if you can’t be included in this group on your own terms or based off the way the group functions, then it sounds like you’ll have to study alone until you find other people. Yeah it stings but what can you do?