Teachers have you been calling “mean” by students or some staff?

[Anonymous]

I teach fifth grade and I’m not one of the “cool” teachers. I greet my students with a smile and good morning but I set expectations for their grades, assignments and DO NOT accept late work. Sounds mean but I expect my students to turn it in on time and be in class ON TIME. I don’t play around.

I’m kind, but I’m VERY firm. I’ve been called “mean” by several students. I mean I’m a fun person and silly but I don’t play around and I mean business. I’m 25 but I want the students to know that they will not overpower me just because I’m young and I’m petite (5’0”). I kind of have to be tougher.
One student said, “Our substitute teacher before you came was very nice.”
Another said, “You always make us say stuff to get something and out other teacher just gives it us.”

I told them that I’m not them and I will make them work for it! I’m not going to make it easy. Things don’t come for free. Even some teachers said I need to loosen up and I’m too mean. Really! I thought we be on the same page.

[AI Opinion]

It's natural for students to perceive firmness as "mean," especially if they're not used to it. Your approach teaches responsibility and accountability, essential life skills. Being firm yet approachable helps maintain respect and sets a foundation for learning. Balance your strictness with understanding and flexibility. Share why deadlines matter and how this practice prepares them for future responsibilities. Over time, students may appreciate your efforts, even if they grumble now. Stay consistent in your approach, and remember, molding responsible students is more important than popularity. It's a challenging role, but your impact is valuable.

[Asker]

Yes. I’m the beginning I’ve explained why I have experienced and hard on them. Plus they’re a too many teachers (not all) and that lets kids do what they want and just give them what they want instead of making them work for it or teaching that they can’t always get what they want. I may sound mean but I’m not always going to be nice.

[Makeushiver]

I taught middle and high school for a couple of years. I was one of the people who wanted the kids to like me. It was easy to fall into that role as many of them listened to same music, liked the same art and was naturally athletic so I kind of felt closer to them than many teachers. I also have been told that I have a great sense of humor and an ironic view of the things, esp. the status quo which had always served me well sociailly. It took me about 9 months to discover that being their freind was not my job, being and acting like a leader was. You can't joke around with the 16 year olds and then give them a failing grade. Another fiddicult lesson is that 16 yr. old girls are very good at looking and acting like 24 yr. old young women. I would never touch a kid but I probably played a long with the flirting which, again, doesn't work when you need to go back to the role of grading report cards with an attractive 26 yr. old who is used to getting her was using the same behavior that I didn't encourage but didn't clamp down on it immediately. I eventually left the profession to teach at the college level. Young people on the hook for their own tuition have a much greater incentive to not dick around like high school students do. I blame myself for the naivete in not being ready emotionally for high school teaching but on the other hand- all of the tests required to reach in CA the MSAT and the easier CBEST never once mentioned this common pitfall. I congratulate you on your maturity in avoiding many of the problems I had.