How do you get ahead in life if you get knocked down at every turn?

[Anonymous]

I started from nothing
Worked my ass off at school. Got a degree
Moved away. Got a job.
I make some money but it’s not nearly enough to justify the pain.

And now my Dad is retiring and has no savings and no one else to take care of him.
But I barely make enough as it is.
If I have to pick up the slack I’m guaranteed poverty for the rest of my life.

How tf am I supposed to make it to a comfortable place this way?

[Orion84]

This is going to sound harsh, but if your father has no savings, why the hell is he retiring? That would seem to be his issue, due to poor planning, not yours.

We aren't required to compensate for our parents' mistakes, especially considering the cost of living is much higher now, than it was when he was younger. Having children is not a viable retirement strategy. It's not fair to expect you to financially cripple yourself, by taking care of him.

My opinion is that he either needs to suck it up, and keep working, or take his social security, and pay for a room at the local retirement village.

[Asker]

I didn’t specify but where I come from we don’t have social security.
And you are right he didn’t plan for it

But he always worked for so little pay and spent it all on family.
It’s not like he’s a selfish man

He doesn’t drink or smoke or gamble or anything like that.

He’s just never tried to fight hard for a bigger income

I begged him my whole life to start our own business and he always said “we have no money”

I grew up with that line ringing in my ears over and over

And as an adult myself I’m learning that:
We truly do have no money.

I wanna be the one to build an empire but I can’t even set aside enough to start
And it’s worth noting that don’t drink smoke or gamble either (among all other vices of course)

[DishLady]

That's a great question I was addressing with someone else earlier today. He feels that all his friends are advancing while he's still cycling through the same phase in his life. He's now traveling around trying to figure out the details for the next chapter... and it's making him a little nuts. He feels unsettled in work, home and life.

He's not married yet and is taking care of his folks and all siblings. It's a challenging life and if he didn't have all his obligations he'd ALSO be rolling in money and probably married etc. But at what cost? His conscience would nag at him till the end of days... so what's the point of that life of financial gain?

[Asker]

That’s the big question really

At what point do we forego financial gain for the sake of people we care about?
Because all the money in the world is worthless if you’re spending it all alone

But at the same time nothing is worse than poverty. Trust me I tried it

So it can’t all be hakuna matata we do need to plan ahead so that the next generations don’t struggle like we struggled

Everyone calls me crazy and a wild dreamer when I explain that I want my kids to be born into immeasurable wealth

But I think it’s the least I can do

[DishLady]

Hakuna matata… 😂😂😂 No, it can’t all be that way. That’s not what I’m saying. But if you only stop to look for a gal when you’re at the top of your game the only ones you’ll find are the materialistic gold diggers, which is what my guy friends on that side of the dating spectrum are all experiencing now.

[Anonymous]

All the time with relationships and my health , guess ya gotta keep going it’s all anyone can do.

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for mho

[jahaims]

Live within your means. I moved out at 18 in my car. Retired by 30. Had three jobs at one point too.

[AI Opinion]

Facing setbacks can be incredibly challenging, but your resilience is commendable. Prioritize self-care and mental health first. Consider seeking financial planning guidance to explore potential solutions for supporting your father while maintaining your own stability. Look into career advancement opportunities or side hustles to increase income. Networking can lead to unexpected opportunities, so stay engaged with your industry. Government or community resources might offer assistance. Remember, progress takes time, and small steps can lead to significant changes. Stay focused on your goals and seek support when needed.