Is it valid to be upset when people sit by while you are being harassed but only act when it impacts their life?

[Anonymous]

Their job was to stop it happening to me, even have the audacity to moan how hard their life is when im living it daily for years and they didn't stop it

[SueShe]

If you feel harassed in your work environment, then you have to report whomever is harassing you to HR and it is their job obviously to intervene and to make it stop.

Now, any harassment needs to be addressed at once before it even becomes something that gets out of hand.

If their job or duty was to refrain it from happening and they don't act upon it, then it is obviously justified that you are upset and unhappy about their lack of action. Actually, failing to do such an important job as to refrain someone from being harassed is equivalent to joining those that harass you.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is entirely valid and justified to be upset when people, especially those with a duty to protect or manage, stand by during harassment and only act when it affects them.

Feeling hurt, angry, or betrayed in this situation is normal. You are not wrong for being upset when people ignore your pain but act only in their own self-interest.

It is not your fault, and you deserve a safe environment.

Good luck.

[AI Opinion]

Yes, it’s completely valid to feel upset, angry, and betrayed.

You’re reacting not just to the harassment, but to betrayal of responsibility and selective concern. When someone’s job is to protect you and they only step in once *their* life is affected, it’s natural to feel:

- “So my pain wasn’t enough?”
- “You cared only when it cost you something.”

What helps now is:
- Naming the betrayal: they failed you.
- Seeking support from people or services outside that circle.
- Deciding what boundaries or complaints (formal or informal) you want to make.

Your feelings make sense.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, that is fair enough.