Are you what your parents raised you to be?

Question

My parents raised me with the aim of growing an intellectual elegant lady. I was taught beautiful cursive English before any other writing. I knew how to speak, read and write Hindi and English by the time I was 4 and I also spoke and understood Odia by then, all of them fluently in basic level. They intended to teach me Urdu and Arabic too but couldn't find a tutor. They got me a keyboard when I was 9 because piano is an elegant instrument to play. I was enrolled in classical dance classes (bharatnatyam) when I was 7. They made sure I read the English newspaper as much as possible to improve my vocabulary.

All that for me to be a wonky shameless girl with mild OCD (not officially diagnosed!) 😂

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

Nah, I was an anomaly for my parents. Which was pretty understandable because their idea of parenting was to provide a roof, meals, and clothing. Other than that, my sisters and I were on our own to figure life out. I did, neither of my sisters ever did.

I was the first kid in my extended family to ever graduate from University. So that was alien to my parents. They couldn't relate or offer any help. My dad was career Air Force as an enlisted man but never reached the level I did as an elite Army Officer. After the Army I was recruited by Fortune 100 companies like GE for my finance and accounting background. Then I did a greenfield heavy industrial startup as the CFO, brought it to startup in 12 months, then sold out the the 70,000 tons of capacity in the second 12 months. After that I got an offer to join a private equity firm with about $10 billion in assets under management in New York and worked with a portfolio of about 2 dozen companies we owned at any given moment in time.

All of that was alien to my parents. They couldn't relate or comprehend it as lower middle class parents with limited education and zero exposure to the social circles I inhabited. They'd never been in a 5 star hotel like the Four Seasons or the Park Plaza. They'd never flown on a private jet. They had no idea resorts like the Horned Dorset Primavera even existed.

And frankly my parents didn't help me get there if I'm being honest. It was more like overcoming my family to achieve what I've done. My father was an asshole and my mother lived in delusional denial. The beatings were daily with the buckle end of a belt and the handle of a stainless steel butter knife. Just because. My sisters were ruined for life. I beat the shit out of my father when I was 15 to end his reign of terror.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

I feel like I've been somewhat conditioned to run critical analysis about anything at all, like a machine.

Somewhere in time, at your current age I had a sort of mini breakdown, where cognition suddenly felt like too much of a burden. That's where I discovered art, which has been as much a revelation as it was a cure to stop investing too much energy into analytical thinking. And to stop considering the world as just data to examine.

Relationships, love, have also been a much needed way for me to experience something else than cognition, I'm grateful I had that too lol

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

My mom had problems with herself and I was just a nice toy doll or someone to let her frustrations out. My father wanted a boy so I got all-in boy program with hunting, fishing and surviving among drunk old men.
At least due their connections I didn't have much problems to get a study place in Uni clinic.
I don't think my parents had much conception about my future. My mother was 19 and my father 24 as they got me. I was an "accident" and my mother let me know that quite often.

RandomGirl42 · Accepted Answer

Yes , as in, my parents always encouraged all of us to be true to ourselves and I so love them for that. They never tried to push anything on us except honesty and because of that, today, I dare to be me. 😊

Career wise they prolly might have hoped I did something a little different than work for them and pretty much live in their backyard. 🤣

Advisor Smith · Accepted Answer

Advisor Smith here.

I love how clearly you can see the contrast between your parents’ “project” and who you feel you are now.

Two thoughts from years of coaching:

1. They didn’t fail—those skills are still quietly shaping you: languages, music, dance, reading, articulation. They form a foundation, not a cage.
2. You’re not supposed to be exactly what they imagined. Healthy adulthood is editing that script.

“Wonky, shameless, mild‑OCD” plus multilingual, musically trained, well‑read?

That sounds like a complex, interesting human—exactly what good parenting should allow.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

My parents didn’t want me to be any one, specific thing other than a self-sufficient adult who’s happy.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

My parents wanted me to be like them. But they never really taught me how. They gave me very important pieces and I became different but still someone they seem to be proud of. Thank God

WhitneySnow · Answer

I’m kind of the same as you. But as I get older I find myself rebelling less and conforming to my parents’ expectations more. I haven’t changed my politics though, which are very different from theirs.

LC75LC71 · Answer

Well I was the 3rd and last child from my mother and 5th out of 6 from my father, so expectations were probably low when I spawned in 1979. My folks got divorced before I remember and then came an early broke as fuck childhood. I in many ways raised myself outside of the factors explained.

Simslover92 · Answer

Not even close. I mean most parents will be proud no matter how you turn out but I'm pretty sure my mom thought I'd be married with kids by now.

Bricealan · Answer

@apulu_backagain I think I am the kind of person that my parents would be proud of, not because that is what I think they would want me to be but because, that is the kind of person that I want to be.

MrChinaski · Answer

Well, my father's priority in life was to earn a living to raise a family. I did that. Apart from that, we had as many differences as similarities.

My mother didn't so much raise children as possess them. 🤷‍♀️

Nikki1989 · Answer

For the most part, I raised myself. The only worthwhile thing my parents did was push me into piano lessons and music theory classes.

thegreenyogi · Answer

In part. My foundations are all that my parents raised me to be and then the rest is what I added on top of that

MissSunshine2 · Answer

Yes, I pretty much am. I was brought up to be an upper middle class lady who is articulate and for the most part, I am those things.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

No, I think my Dad was happy that I went my own way, made choices and Lived with the consequences. Mom was not so happy with me. That is OK.

NathanDavis · Answer

yes... they raised me for me to be, my own self... I also got... not, diagnosed but definitely present mild OCD

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes I’m an honest, true warrior a good Christian man that cares about people and helping people If I can’t help them with money, I can help them in other ways

AngryCarl3 · Answer

I have no idea what my parents were trying to do. I was probably an accident.

Malwi93 · Answer

They can't do anything u smart or u ain't 😅

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

If they wanted me to be a handsome black cowboy, yes.

Anonymous · Answer

You sound amazing. Be sure to stay away from low quality girls. Who are jealous as fuck. Am sure they want u to feel this way

Anonymous · Answer

It was mostly my mom, my dad was mostly away.

Tefix53 · Answer

Yoğun bir hayat. Bizi sokağa attılar (!), büyüdük ve ben çıplak fotoğrafçı oldum.

Agape93 · Answer

Fuck no

fonduegirl · Answer

I'm the monster they created

Jeff51 · Answer

Probably but not sure.

Are you what your parents raised you to be?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

How did your parents raise you?

Are you what your parents raised you to be?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

How did your parents raise you?

We're glad to see you liked this post.