Are there people here that experienced depression or loneliness?

Question

There are days that I feel very lonely and I don’t have the energie to go out because going out by myself feels lonely too. I wonder if I maybe have a slight depression or that I’m depressed of being lonely. I also don’t have a big appetite, cry sometimes and stay inside. Weekends are always the same, spending it alone.

Do you have any suggestions to cope with it? Do people recognize themselves with me? Any tips?

JustinTimberlegs · Accepted Answer

That's been me for many years unfortunately. Definitely seek as much help as you can, if they aren't helpful don't be afraid to replace them.
Get as much sun as you can, and exercise if possible. Easier said than done, most days I stay in bed.

If you don't have a pet, consider getting one. My doggo helps me so much.

Be kind to yourself. It's ok to feel like shit and stay in bed all day if that is what you need, this isn't something you can overcome with sheer willpower. Think if yourself as a friend, if they felt like shit and stayed in bed all day, would you criticize them? Or would you try to support and encourage them? You deserve to love yourself too.

If you're up for it, take notice of something small you can be grateful for everyday, even if it's just having a bed to lie in. If you want you can do 3 or 5 things, maybe even start a gratitude journal.

I found it easier for me to work on myself after I accepted the depression as part of me, and that it's not going away anytime soon. (Had it over 10 years, but the first 6 years I still saw it as something I had to fight, reject, get better from. Now I kinda accept that's the way I am right now, and try to live with it as best I can, taking small steps forward)

Try out new things, it doesn't matter if you give it up after or end up disliking it. They may become hobbies, such as music, video editing, photography, cooking, drawing, writing, embroidery, fashion, beauty, meditation, learning about something like space or psychology or history.

Do something small for yourself each day, something you enjoy. Perhaps looking at cute animals, talking to a friend or family, maybe just smiling at someone, taking a shower if you like that, listen to a song you love, make yourself a hot chocolate. Try to be present and enjoy it as best you can.

The hardest and most important is just being kind to yourself. You're feeling shit right now, try not to beat yourself up about it. Sending you all the hugs and love, I really hope you feel better soon, even if it's only a little.

TonyMetal___86 · Accepted Answer

Miss mariska i know how your feeling since the majority of my life till now i'm feeling like this and a lot of people do not know how hard it is to be like that and do not consider it important...

I don't know if i can say that i'm depressed or not but hell yeah that i'm lonely...

What's the meaning of life if i have everything but do not feel love and do not have someone to love and love me back, to share with them all my moments of joy and sorrow...

You see i'm about to become 36 in February and we can't live like teenagers anymore or just hang out with friends, cause at this point of my life i just feel that i need to be married and living my life only with a lovely lady as a family cause this spiritual and physical bond that we will create together by love and by the blessing of god after marriage will become the fuel of our lives and of our happiness... etc

A lot of people start blaming you why your changing why aren't you going out anymore, why aren't you having fun anymore, why your always lazy and feeling sad most of the times and they keep asking why, why WHY! 😒

My answer to them is in this song: "till it happens to you, you don't know how it feels"...

No one is able to know how your feeling miss mariska until they wear your shoes and take your place!

I wish you the best because your a sweet lady and you deserve the best and i hope to see you always smiling and that your smile won't be only superficial but coming from your heart 😊

SnakeBoop · Accepted Answer

Always try to seek help.
Whether by using a charity similar to Samaritans for a place to rant in confidential safe-space, and/or also speaking to a doctor.
I believe every person on this earth will have a low time where they feel a lack of energy. But constant feelings of it, and it affecting your life majorly, need to be treated/dealt with.
I suffer pretty bad with it sometimes and am on medication to help. Mine is to do with past parental abuse and post partum depression (baby hormones messing me around don't help).

Definitely see about some kind of hobby that can help you interact with others, even if its a bit of voice chat on a game on the weekends, where you can leave as soon as you hit that "social wall" where you've talked yourself out of energy. It can be hard, but try to stick to it.

Sarairocketship · Accepted Answer

You could go to counseling and feel better about it. Maybe forever. Maybe not. But my answer will always be God (Jesus Christ). I go in and talk to Him and He just resolves the problem. It might take time. It might take faith. But coming out of it, I know I will be stronger and better. Ready to face more. This life isn't easy. Everybody knows that nothing is a certainty. Except God. Oh and I can rest assured that He knows everything about how my body runs because He made me. Doctors, counselors, only go by the mental, the physical. God goes by both spiritual and physical. Because He knows everything and can fix anything.

Finchie40 · Answer

Remember, those good girl’s hide😋 But honestly it can be a list of reasons as to why you feel this way , it can stem down from all the stupid shit we see and hear about in the world on the news or social media , especially with the whole lockdown that has played a big part on messing with people’s minds to to the point it made us feel safe to stay in our homes and not really interact with people cuz they might have Corona , safe distancing from each other , or It can stem down from your prior experiences in life , if you were the type to go out and socialize in the past then all of a sudden you have no desire to do so, it might just be that you are bored of it , and think to yourself what really is the point? I honestly get that way a lot of times where I have no desire to go out And i just feel content staying in my home and not dealing with drama that other people tend to carry with them and project on to us sometimes , especially if you were the type that use to enjoy going out for a few drinks and socializing in the past , as we get older we tend to move away from all that and realize it really isn’t that fun anymore , or we feel that We are too old to be doing that stuff , it’s easy to feel that way , it’s better just staying in keeping to ourselves I am more of a homebody myself, and content being at home , the simple things in life I enjoy the most , I can sit by a bonfire in my backyard and have a few beers and be at peace , get my hands into yard work , I also work out at home , I prefer my home gym over Going To an actual gym, I can blare my music and just focus on my exercises so I have no desire to ever go to a gym again , but when I was younger I was all about going out and doing those things , every weekend I had plans and trying to have a good time interacting with people etc. , but nowadays I don’t do that anymore like I use to cuz part of me feels like I already did all that and done it , honestly I feel like I force myself to go out when a big part of me would rather just stay in , but I do get lonely and miss having someone to talk to at times , , so that can be a reason you might feel depressed , the depression is coming from the fact that you are questioning yourself as to why you are content and have no desire , why do I enjoy being at home more than going out? You might feel like you are missing out on something, we are our own worst enemy , because we tend to hold on to things from the past that put a barrier up and feel like we have no energy to go through that again , I was married for 14 years , I got married for the long haul , I didn’t get married thinking I was going to end up divorced , that impacted my life big time , and then entering the dating world again was a rollercoaster ride and a half , I felt so lost because I was out of it for so long , to the point I feel like I just my as well throw in the towel , but some how some way I still try lol Cuz part of me misses that chemistry and connection with someone , but a big part of me also feels like I really have nothing to offer anymore cuz I have really no desire to go through the whole wine and dine faze , it’s like I need that to come to me , it’s like I need a girl to come save me , if that makes any sense , and for things to happen like going places , I usually need others to invite me, and even then that’s a 50l50 chance on whether I will go or not. So It sounds like you are on the same level as me for the most part , we might both be depressed or we are both just fucked up lol So if you ever wanna chat sometime please feel free to inbox me

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yes what you describe is depression.

the first step is to get yourself booked in for a counselling session.

assuming your are in Netherlands.

then it looks like an appointment at your Doctors is first step.

https://www.government.nl/topics/mental-health-services/question-and-answer/help-for-mental-health-problems

https://www.government.nl/topics/mental-health-services

yes you can find interest groups online and local to you for things to do, however personally, the best approach is to go to a professional straight away.

on here we can offer opinions based on what you have put in your question, however a professional will base it on what you say and what you say to their questions.

ToastyOats · Answer

I can prescribe the medicine but its
up to you to take it mademoiselle.
You need spiritual growth!
You have a small ego, low confidence and you are scared of dying!
Ooof. Its tough to hear probably. When I felt this way in my early twenties I was lucky enough to have people around with the
"Mental technology" to grow beyond these pains. They are growing pains.
As Kahlil Gibran said beautifully in his book The Prophet "when your happiness slumbers in its bed sorrow sups at the table. In other words, you must stay awake and living, growing!
Rather than wallow in these feelings or ignore them you should Explore Them. Listen to music and read books by people have have conquered this loneliness and fear and have created art expressing the joy of there struggle.
My go too's for you right now would be Rumi and Kahlil Gibran. Listen to some John Prine maybe. Its strong medicine and most people avoid these artists and writers because they draw out the pain but it will heal you too. Seek out your own inspirations too but bottom line stop watching other peoples lives and desiring the blessings of others.
In the Bagavad Gita (another good one) says that Desire is like a wind that blows across the Earth. All the desires toghether. When all the winds blow the same way, there is peace, when the winds meet obstacles or contradict each other there will be storms and destruction.
Do not let your winds blow in ways they cannot go, go with the Flow!
Love and peace on you.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

I do t really get depress… feel sad sometimes…. But I learned to share my feelings with my friends.
I often call my family to check on them
call my friends as well…
these are love to give to those who are close to me. It lays me feel good when I k ow that they are well or if they need anything.

can you call them? Reach out? Go spend some time with mom? Friends? Help someone walk their dog?

Aside from that I am a monster bitch to my honey around. That time of the month. Other times I’m an angel 👼.
go pick up that phone amd be an angel

molonski2 · Answer

Im obviously not a phycologist , but Id say you are dealing maybe with some loneliness , but thats no necessarily a bad thing , if you are able to deal with this feeling and adapt , you will be fine as things change or otherwise.
Maybe try and focus on some things that bring you joy , solitude , free solitude does not have to be a negative.
Im not sure how medical system works over there , but for me ( I've never been depressed ) , I find it really beneficial talking to a phycologist , its just a great release and helps you work though issues , even if nothing is wrong. Also sometimes we set expectations too high..

Nik1hil · Answer

I never feel lonely...
I enjoy being alone...
I put on great music like

https://youtu.be/rtOvBOTyX00

Or this..

https://youtu.be/450p7goxZqg

Or this

https://youtu.be/2Vv-BfVoq4g

GREAT MUSIC And along with those artist I start singing.. Without being judged.. and submerge myself in music and dissolve my brain into symphony...
Its as close to ❤️❤️ True love I have ever been and.. It feel great..
There is no greater feeling in the world...

ohshee · Answer

First tip if you get bored and you're home get online there's random chat sites there's all kinds of places you can go to talk to people at least that's what I do this place makes me horny or hungry LOL within 5 to 10 minutes of being on there so I feel lonely that way because I want to share a piece of me I want to share my passion my desire I would love to feel it in real life both all the bull crap that's going on around you don't know what to believe anymore so it's just better to go to work come home work on projects but if you ever want to chat hit me up I would love to chat with you there's no reason for you to be lonely or depressed either

exitseven · Answer

First thing- Covid has screwed up a lot of people and many people including myself have recently experienced exactly what you are going through. I spoke to my doctor and we had a good discussion about it. He also told me he is seeing a lot of this type of thing these days. I was laid off from my teaching job and was very isolated after being around students all day.
I reached out to a few people and it was about the same time I joined GaG. I have found a couple of people here that have become friends as well. It has helped. Feel free to PM me if you want;

FreeOhSeven · Answer

I would maybe make an appointment with a counselor or psychologist. I suffer from major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, in addition to being a recovering drug addict so I’m familiar with all of the things you are dealing with, it can be a horrible cycle to get caught in.

dustybiker · Answer

Talk to someone before it gets worse. Why waste a day of your life living like that? If you could live in a healthier mindset, would you? That is what you need to ask yourself. Get up and find sources nearby to help.

Aurora1010 · Answer

You could try to meet new friends, and go out to a store or anywhere that distracts you don't stay at home with your thoughts.
Try new hobbies maybe you can meet new people that way,
Going for walks helped me as well...
Also and most importantly you should go to a therapy, before it gets worse.
I hope you feel better soon.

Máiiréad · Answer

Yes, that is depression.
Take more walks outside in nature. Eat food that is good for you that you also enjoy eating.
Drink more water. SLEEP! lol
Do activities that you enjoy doing.
Basically, make healthy choices and think positive thoughts. Be mindful and take care of yourself.

InferiorElegy · Answer

Every single day I deal with them.
I suggest you talk to a therapist before it gets worse. I see a therapist but for me it's too late, I was too far gone before I was ever able to get in to see a therapist but as a female you'll be able to see one instantly.

sensible27 · Answer

I sometimes feel very alone, maybe not to exxagurate but on a gaint pale blue rock floating is space, completely alone. There's a quote on lonliness that I like, "Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.".

DaveToo · Answer

Welcome to my world. Depression, combined with PTSD makes for a shitty existence. So I keep busy with music. I sing in a choir, and when they perform, I occasionally sing with a group. My suggestion is for you to find something that is your passion, and embrace it, learn more about it, and do all you can to make it your own.

FatherJack · Answer

Battled depression many times , the last time this time 2 years ago , lost my beloved ferret , Miss Woolworth & this triggered depression through grief. I don't really get lonely , as I am introverted , and not that fond of people. A blessing really , esp as I'm a single dad.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Sometimes I get lonely aswell but most of the time I like doing my own thing because it can be relaxing.

When your feeling lonely just try talking to someone like a family member about anything, Even if its over the phone or maybe chatting online.

just_a_potato · Answer

I have felt depressed and lonely many times for many years, I undetstand. No tips for you that haven't been said already, love youuuuuu 💞💞💞

Cowboy6666 · Answer

I recognize myself with you
I have been single for many years
Sometimes I feel super lonely and bored too
I do the following:
-Watch Youtube
-go to bed
-watch porn
-listen to music
-Visit GAG, comment or chat there.
-reading books, novels, magazines etc
-Go to walk or engage myself in any good activity
-Look after my plants

Are there people here that experienced depression or loneliness?

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