How’s this lyric?

[crossdressingrihno]

So I write raps for entertainment and this gem came to mind and I want your opinion

“Daddy got some milk, said he’d be right back. Thirty years later, he didn’t even write back.”

[NathanDavis]

back with back is lazy...

"thirty years later, and he still don't give a fack"

[EnglishEuropean]

You're rhyming back with back. That's some Cardi B shit right there.

[crossdressingrihno]

Daddy, thirty right, write back, back

[RoulOB]

I think it's good
I like it