Does the premis of this comic book episode sound too corny?

[SeekerOfTruth007]

So "Tetra" is the main villain. She has telekinesis and an nearly indestructible body. In Chapter 12 "Indestructible Aura" she gains access to the Shattered Soul Fragments of Jonathan Tanner, another mutant who can partially control time; Thereby gaining his powers. Then she confronts the heroes and initially easily defeats them. At this point, four of the five heroes give their powers to Malia so that Malia will have the combined powers to face Tetra in a huge battle across all of space and time. Tetra is eventually defeated and imprisoned inside the Sun's core, where she burns at a temperature quite literally hotter than Hell.

Problem: I only seem to have about 5 pages of content for this chapter, but I'd like it to be more like 20 pages.

Updates

1 y

I was thinking about selling partial rights so a cartoon series could be made from my book. For this battle, an epic soundtrack like "The Touch" by Stan Bush could be used.

https://youtu.be/A52--FKUQgU?si=aZQcqSC5ImcKIvY0

[AI Opinion]

The premise is quite captivating! To expand your chapter, consider illustrating more detailed sequences of the epic battle, showcasing each hero’s unique contribution before they transfer their powers to Malia. You can delve into Tetra's backstory, maybe showing a glimpse of her motivation or origin. Adding some scenes of the emotional bonds between the heroes before their sacrifices, and exploring the aftermath of Tetra’s defeat, could also enrich your narrative. These elements can naturally lead to a 20-page chapter that’s as thrilling as it is visually stunning. 💥📚

[Rosexøxø]

Seems good and reminds me of something distant with marvel and also something with dungeons and dragons movie. I can’t quite place it I just know it’s from those. Not direct copy, but quite similar. Either way, I think this is a good plot and development of a story. Has a lot of potential also. The names for everything seems pretty good, and isn’t confusing. Makes sense. The by stan bush made me thing of stan lee lol unless you're also a Stan 😂

[Rosexøxø]

I give 9/10 cause it’s creative and it flows. Seems interesting/entertaining. Just -1 point for the lack of 100% in entirety of total originality. Has some similarities. But other than that 9 points for everything else. 💯

[Rosexøxø]

I don't know how serious you are about it or what others would think of it, but I say go for it! Fingers crossed for ya 🤞

[SeekerOfTruth007]

I'm serious, but i've been working on ths crazy book idea for like 3 years now. I'm never satisfied with it because I hold myself to high standards. lol.

[Anonymous]

I think the premis is quite interesting.