I slapped back my mother, was I still in the wrong?

[MarnieKnotMe]

Right now I'm pissed off and this just happened a couple hours ago. Just got into an heated argument with her. After exchanging words, she slapped me kinda of hard and then I turned around and slapped her back.

Part of me feels guilty but then I dunno. She started it. Yet, she was totally shocked as if not expecting it. We're not on speaking terms at this moment.

Or should I have just walked away as my older brother suggested. He thinks I was still in the wrong and is also not speaking to me.

Updates

+1 y

Actually I think I'm feeling some guilt. Else I wouldn't even be posting this. But I just don't think I'm completely in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

While I understand you don't like that it went this far, I would say your actions were very reasonable. Your mother was far more in the wrong than you for striking first. If your mother isn't eaten up with quilt then I don't see why you should either.

Your mother has now learned not to hit you when she is angry if she doesn't want to get hit back. Assuming your age on here is correct, your mother should have known there were consequences for striking an adult.

It isn't like she slapped you, and then you put her in the hospital. You used just barely enough force to let her know that she can't get away with physically striking you without consequences, and that is the right way to use force.

Nothing is more taboo than striking a mother. It is just our knee jerk reaction that, a mother of all people, got slapped that people might look down what you did. A child on the other hand is barely seen as a human. Which is why you get people that think people should beat the fuck out of there kids, as someone mentioned.

Unfortunately most guys have been conditioned not to strike a woman back under any circumstances. So it is no surprise if guys in general (your brother included) will say you are wrong to strike your mother. If your father had slapped you, and you slapped him back, everyone including your brother would be supportive, and be making your father into a villain, and you a hero.

Personally I think no one should have to just stand there and let someone slap them under any circumstances. Parent, child, man, woman, no one should be expected to just stand there and take it. Your mom got what was coming to her, and her pride is hurt since she is no longer the uncontested alpha female of the family.

[MarnieKnotMe]

Yes, I just turned 18 two months ago.

[Distant]

If your mother hits you, you can hit her back. Most people will disagree with me because they're afraid to hit their parents. I know, if my father hit me, I'd kick his ass. If my mother hit me, I would not hit her back because she's a woman though. Just because someone is family doesn't mean they're given special immunity. If they cross the line and assault you, let fly the gates of hell.

[MarnieKnotMe]

True. Yet I'm still feeling somewhat guilty. What's upsetting also is my brother was comparing this to last year. He kept saying ''But I walked away remember?''. I admit to slapping him once but it was because he was being a big time jerk. I just don't see how is that even similar. I think that was a stupid comparison.

[Distant]

Yes, you and her should both feel guilty for hitting a family member. It was a stupid comparison because I'm 100% sure he wanted to hit her back but didn't 'cause he's a guy. Once someone hits you, they've crossed the line. "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction".

[Paris13]

Speaking from the bible, for you Honor your Mother And your Father, this does not give you the right to slap her. She's your mother, she Had you, she gave you life, and has raised you.
Yes, you are feeling 'guilty,' because you know in your heart it was wrong. And yes, you're brother was right----you should have walked away, even if you had to slam a few doors behind you.
When things calm down, and the air is not so cold, go to her and tell you're sorry. No matter if you were 'Not completely wrong,' God will be pleased, Mom will be proud, your brother will relent, and the family harmony and love can return to your haven.
My guess is Mom is crying her eyes out this minute, both hurt and feeling disrespected.
Good luck.xx

[MarnieKnotMe]

I haven't seen her cried but she's very upset and not talking to me.

[Paris13]

Believe me...She's crying...

[Kei_T]

Ok, this is a very late response to this answer but religion should not play into this situation. Self defence is more important than God in a situation that could escalate badly.

There have been cases similar to this where the victim has refused to retaliate or protect themselves in any way and the abuser has gone so brutal that they have inflicted life-threatening damage to the child, some have even passed away. Not everyone believes in God and though hurting someone is never a good thing, it doesn’t matter when it is to protect yourself from undeserving violence. God says that you shouldn’t hit your parents, even in self defence, because they carried you in the womb and raised you? Absolute bullshit. That is fucking disgusting. People who genuinely believe that have no idea what suffering this person is enduring but I do. I know. Your family may be believers of God and you were raised with these values but that also means that you were likely raised in a normally functioning household.

If my Mother gets in my face and hits me, I will strike her back and if she carries it on then I will beat her bloody until she learns not to lay another hand on me. I never want to be a parent but if I am then I will never harm them in any way, if I did then I would feel like my Mother and that would drive me back into wanting to kill myself - similar to how my Mother made me feel with her abuse. Either way, if abuse is not dealt with then it can leave long-lasting mental and physical damage and likely death.

[Kei_T]

So, who is in the right here? God, someone telling you to never lay a hand on your parents even if it is fine for them to do that to you, abusing you and possibly driving you to suicide; or me, the person that believes that if you feel the need to hit in self defence then you do it.

To the person who asked the question, your Mother is in the wrong and you were right to hit her back. She was hitting you out of cruelty and you showed her that you are an adult by putting her in her place. Your brother, I can understand why he is upset with you, but he is also very wrong. So what if he walked away? You are both very different people and fuck him if he is going to take an abusive Mother’s side over his own sibling - you should be thicker than thieves. Brothers and sisters are the people who support each other after a scolding, they get into trouble together and they share their fears and dreams with each other. If he endures the same abuse that you do then he is a complete idiot to think you were wrong, if not then he is a naïve person with no idea of how it feels.

I hope this helped.

[kangaru2]

you are never allowed to hit your parents. regardless of how heated the argument is, they feed you they raise you they take care of you etc. the amount of money u earn in future can never repay the amount they invest in you and the love and care we as children have for them can never beat them to it too. you could have walked away like what your sibling said. do you know you hurt her feelings and what you did is an unfilial act.
the only people in this world who can hit me is our parents, my husband/bf is nothing.
you are in the wrong of course, please go and apologise to her.

i dc how many downvotes i got from here

[knotme]

hahah, you too, huh?

[Kaliki]

I think you need to get over your pride and apologize. That was very wrong.
If she apologizes too, then great. Hopefully you two can talk to each other like mature adults. But if she doesn't, too bad. At least you've done your part and won't have to feel guilty anymore.

[MarnieKnotMe]

I will once my anger goes away.

[Kei_T]

This is not a matter of getting over their pride. Their Mother posed a threat to them and they hit back in self defence. They wouldn’t have done it if they didn’t feel the need to. I’m sure they’ve tried walking away before or bowed their head and complied with their Mother, apologising for whatever bullshit they’ve been accused of for no reason. It probably hasn’t worked.

I used to be a submissive little bitch to my abusive Mother all the time. I’d walk away, apologise, offer to do chores, look after my baby brothers for her etc. Did she stop? Not a fucking chance. Just because they’re your parents it doesn’t mean that they aren’t a person to you. If a different person did that to them and they weren’t a parent then they’d hit back with no hesitation.

So I’m sorry but you’ve made this person feel shitty over something that they had every right to do. I don’t care if their parents birthed and raised them, everyone has feelings and if they cross the line then they need to be put in their place, especially if the child is nearly an adult. Please think about how much of a disgusting answer it was that you replied with and ask yourself if you’ve ever been in their situation. If you haven’t then gladly fuck off, if you have then you’re just as much submissive bitch to your abusive parents as I used to be.

Have a nice day.

[lilstrwberygal]

Well...I mean you were both in the wrong. You weren't any more wrong than your mother because she shouldn't have slapped you but just because she slapped you doesn't mean you should have turned around and slapped her back. It sounds immature but its one of those "two wrongs don't make a right" thing.

[MarnieKnotMe]

I know. I mean, I would apologize if she admitted her wrong part too. What bothers me the most is her and my brother are acting like I'm the only one in the wrong.

[harakiri]

Yeah. You were wrong. My mom used to hit me up all the time and I never slapped her back. Because she's my mom and was kind enough to house my for 9 months of her life, give birth to me and take care of me. You should apologize to her.

[andy020892]

I recommend that you go apologize her. I don't know if it's a cultural difference. You never hit your parents unless they're threatening your life. No matter how mad you were or no matter whose fault it was, you never lay a finger on your parents.

[Anonymous1971]

You have a bad Mom.. Your mom seems to have taught you through slapping you in the past that's its OK to slap people? If so your mom is WRONG. Now I am telling you its not OK to slap your mom back.

[Paulina528]

I don't think you were in the wrong.. She slapped you first. She had no righ to put her hands on you. I would have done the same thing.

[Sex_Panther]

Slapping your mom and not being in a p*rno shoot is a really bad idea.

[Sex_Panther]

I love Distant. He's got the worst logic under the sun. I mean really.

[Anonymous]

Exactly why I encourage people to beat the fuck out of their kids.

[Kei_T]

Honestly you’re a piece of shit who deserves to rot in a jail cell. I hope that you never have kids and if you somehow do then I hope they beat the natural assholery out of your head. I feel sorry for your parents for having such a narrow-minded, vile child.

[knotme]

Yes, you are in the wrong

[douride2]

in my opinion you were both in the wrong.

[MarnieKnotMe]

Yes I understand that. The problem is she doesn't see how she was wrong too.

[douride2]

Then you have a problem best to just apologize and walk away.