I tried to slap my mother during an argument, does this make me rotten?

Question

We had an argument and she was throwing back my past failures, how it was my fault my first boyfriend left (I did him wrong), my tardiness on my first jobs, getting fired for my internship, etc etc.
I caught myself raising my right hand to slap her but then held back and kicked the wall instead. She was still shocked now. She was then ''and now my dear daughter tried to hit me, so much for honoring your mother and father, what else are you going to fail in, oh dear I must be the worst mother ever... etc''.

Even though I didn't do it, the gesture scared her. I still feel bad. I'm a rotten person for trying to do it, right?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My mother sometimes bring up my past, and she keeps on complaining how I was a very hard child to raise and how I made her life harder.

Is that a wrong behavior from her? Yes. But should I justify hurting her or denying her sacrifices for me to punish her? No.

My mom did a tremendous amount of sacrifices for me, like really! It is nearly impossible to contain all she did for me in a single book, or even a 1000 books. She literally sacrificed her well being and comfort for me throughout my life.

The fact that she reminded me of my past mistakes or got very angry at me, is just a weakness. We are humans, we do mistakes. I still know her intentions for me and how much she loves me. I know that she does all of that because she wants me a better person not because she wants to "destroy" me.

You should certainly apologize to her and maybe try to give her a gift, she still has the right of authority over you. If it was a stranger doing that to you it would be a totally different story, but certainly not your mom.

boggboss · Accepted Answer

To sone degree the though off doing is vary bad and somthing u will need to learn to control cos if a heated exchange can make u go to hit your mum u could hit anyone in anger thats not saying your mum was in the right also but to go to violence is a issue

JosyJosy · Accepted Answer

I don't think you are, I feel like she's "rotten" for bringing up the past in an argument, it had probably nothing to do with the argument either.

complicated_hope · Accepted Answer

Yes.  Sorry to be blunt but no matter what (except in abusive cases/self defense etc) you do not raise your hand on your parents.

Massageman · Answer

Congratulations! You caught yourself before you hit her!

The evil one throws up road blocks to frustrate us. The important thing is how we handle these situations. It was good that you explained that you were frustrated, but you should remind your mom that she was NOT the cause of that frustration (I've made an assumption there). Humans ALL have a sin nature since the fall of Eden. Jesus is the atoning sacrifice for our sin. Having Him as your Savior doesn't make you perfect, only forgiven.

So, fight against those roadblocks. Work through that laziness. Count to ten before responding, and especially to those who love you and want to help you. I now take a big deep breath before responding, and I haven't made a single hole in a wall since doing that!

Wiredone · Answer

You're not a rotten person. You have enough respect for your mother that you didn't hit her. I've raised my hand to my parents several times growing up but I never hit them. I was raised to respect my elders and women. Even though I wanted to hit my parents and a few women, I never did. You're not a bad person, you're respectful.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Well she isn't a good mother scrutinizing you like that. She should help and support you instead of being so harsh. Even if its the truth as a mother you shouldn't use it to humiliate and shame the own kid. Doing that to your kid, even though it might be meant just to toughen you up, could give some serious backlash and psychological scars. Depression might form, you'd think you might never reach their expectations, feeling like a failure etc.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You have described a string of personal failures and the gesture of striking your mother, even though not completed, is yet another example. Why do you not want to succeed?

Anonymous · Answer

not really. She antagonized you and you didn't do it.

I pushed one of my parents once and they fell into a wall really hard then hit the ground... but they attacked me from the back when I was walking away. I felt bad about it after but they never tried getting physical with me ever again.

WesBrewer · Answer

Nobody is perfect, everyone wants to slap their parents sometimes, it isn't right but you shouldn't beat yourself up over it, so stop calling yourself rotten.

pokenstroke · Answer

no, but see how your mom threw the past at you in the middle of a current disagreement. nothing personal but women tend to do that, what the past mistakes have to do with today who knows. learn from this and do not do that in your future relationships. glad you held back.

Anonymous · Answer

Last time I raised my voice on my old I got an ass-whooping. That was 19 years ago.

I tried to slap my mother during an argument, does this make me rotten?

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