Why did my ex husband move on so fast?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex husband been together for 10 years. Married 5 and have a kid. He was treating me like shit and then divorced me. (Finalized in February and we slit last December) We had sex a few times after (most recent was 2 weeeks ago) and I stil love the man even though he was an ass to me and cheated emotionally, lied and has abused me in the past in fighting. I was blowing up his phone yesteday because I still have feelings esp after we slept together again. He got mad and told me to leave him alone because he moved on to someone else and he had good intentions with them and wanted a future. But wtf we just had sex 2 weeks ago and he claims he just met her within that time frame after Sex and that sex meant nothing but a quick fuck. I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do. I feel like he was rubbing it in but he said he told me because he wanted me to know he was completely detached and no hope for us to ever work out. And I shouldn’t even want us to work but I feel like he’s trying so hard to be a better man to this woman but couldn’t for me. I told him if she knew we slept together 2 weeks ago she wouldn’t want to talk to you and he said he didn’t want to start there relationship on lies and would tell her but ik he wouldn’t tell her he’s lying

[ThaMaskedMarvel]

You gotta open your eyes & see it for what it is. He's a bad boy. Many women are attracted to bad boys. Men that treat women like $#! t tend to get women. The less he cares, the more women chase. The worse he treats women, the more they chase. The fact that you're writing all of this proves my point. You're chasing him too & you're divorced from him. For certain women, the worse they are treated, the more they want that guy. It's super easy for a guy like that to find a new woman fast. His traits are attractive. You even had sex with him after the divorce & caught feelings, blew up his phone & are heartbroken about his new woman. He's running all through your mind. It's all psychology. Additionally, this new relationship is most likely starting out like yours did with him, but it will end the same way, with the new woman blowing up his phone after he leaves her too.

He was even able to get sex out of you after the divorce. This says it all...

" We had sex a few times after (most recent was 2 weeeks ago) and I stil love the man even though he was an ass to me and cheated emotionally, lied and has abused me in the past in fighting. I was blowing up his phone yesteday because I still have feelings esp after we slept together again."

[ThaMaskedMarvel]

I'm gonna say this once & hopefully you'll listen.

It's. Over.

Leave. His. Lying. Cheating. Abusing. @$$. Alone.

[Asker]

I need to be able to talk to him. Or give my last words. I’ve been so depressed these last few days and can’t seem to snap out of it. He even told me when we had sex I was just another nut and stay the fuck out of his life. Please help me write my last message to him

[BoopBoopBeep]

He doesn't care what your "last words" are and that isn't going to change anything. "Closure" is a made up construct. Please get help.

[lightbulb27]

Get a therapist to unravel this mess. Stop sleepign with him, you obviously are still attached but he wasn't for some time. What happened and why he is cold and running we don' know. Maybe he has fears of being a father, maybe something in your relationship and his past childhood. These "afronting" and "I'm tough" behaviors have deep roots. He is not being a loving, committed man building a family... he's running away. Why... that's a project for someone that is willing to take the time to dig a little.

The other women is meaningless...

Find a good loving God, aka Jesus. you're gonna need one anyways.

for what it's worth, I'm sorry to hear. It's painful, but you come out the other side of this better. Might hurt for a while.

Note as I think of this... my wifes x did very very similar. He had his reasons. It has worked out, I would say, for the best for all. Don't assume this is a tragedy and you are jinxed. It may be a blessing in disguise... lets hope you can turn lemons to lemon bars.

[Asker]

I need to be able to talk to him. Or give my last words. I’ve been so depressed these last few days and can’t seem to snap out of it. He even told me when we had sex I was just another nut and stay the fuck out of his life. Please help me write my last message to him

[lightbulb27]

So it sounds like he did that out of anger, or self loathing maybe. He doesn't care for your feelings at all and seems to care for hers, or maybe that's an act.

I lack a lot of context as to what went on here... but he's filled with spite.

ok... but can you explain what the love was to begin with and what you lvoe about him. let me guess... he reminds you of your abusive father or mother? You have no self worth remaning if he did all that to you and you "love him" and allow him to run over you again. So something is up.

The current message... there is nothing to say until you see better. Don't contact unless required to do so for the child. If he does contact, only engage in regards to your responsibilities to ensure the emotional health of your child and build a family of unity for their purpose.

[sage2021]

If you send him the "last message" what makes you think he even reads or listen to your messages? You might be getting things off your chest, and say all these things, but he probably doesn't read or listen to what you send him. That's what the DELETE feature is on our phones.

My last boyfriend would get me so angry at him and he had is own place then.
So I'd call me, always rolled to voicemail and I would tell him a thing or two. Then I would remember something else and leave another voicemail message. Then add some text messages.
Then one night he called me from another woman's phone to say he lives me and had to go.

The next day I called her number and we talked for two hours. She was staying with him on and off.

Then she tells me that he never listens to my voicemail's or reads my text messages. That he just deletes everything I send to him.

When I asked why he deletes my messages he said "Because I know they're all bad".

Doesn't matter anymore though. Nope, no more games because he died 7 months ago.

RIP Patrick 💔💕😘

[bobalife]

He’s an ass… fuck him, but nuh don’t fuck him. Don’t let someone used you like that. You can love someone and respect yourself enough to not go back like that. He don’t deserve you in any way. I’m sorry…

[coachTanthony]

You don’t want closure you want to try and convince him to give it another shot let’s be real here

[normalice]

Sounds like he moved on long before he left. My guess is he wants just wants to be rig of nuance. Video games have a quirk to them in that if you move your character to a place, they move there. There's no need to worry about tripping or getting tired or your shoe laces coming undone... all this nuance is too real and because he has lived with you, you also are too real to him. He prefers a woman he can make sweeping generalizations about with no threat of a contradiction. So, he will always be seeking someone new.

[DishLady]

Wow, you’ve really fed this guy’s ego by letting him be with you even after your divorce… you’re attached to him even though he’s treated you like garbage and moved on. That’s not ok. You shouldn’t give in to the toxic guy. Ever. Move on…

[Gent207-2]

You are doing yourself no favors and will remain a slave to him until you stop sleeping with him and just have nothing to do with him, aside from custody

[Asker]

I only slept with him twice and when I got my feelings ahead of me he told me to leave him alone because he met someone 4 days after we had sex and has good intentions with them and looking for marriage!!!

[Gent207-2]

He lies
He was banging her long before your divorce.
He never loved you apart from sex and having a kid.

[Asker]

I did confirm that he met her on a dating app that he got on 2 weeks ago. So it wasn’t while we were together. I am so heartbroken

[Gent207-2]

Time to move on and do more for yourself
Make goals for yourself
Try out a new hobby
If you can arrange childcare - travel

[ProbablyClueless]

Because nothing has changed for him. he was an abusive user in your marriage and he's continued being an abusive user afterwards, because he knows he can get sex from you when he wants it.

He's just continuing to play his same old game.

[scott04sa22]

My ex-girlfriend moving very fast. She's engaged and Pregnant all happened very fast. Your ex husband wasn't a good guy to you. You deserve way better. I'm also heartbroken too 💔 I hope you feel better soon

[dudeinohio]

You were available for sex. So he took advantage of the situation.

He was probably looking for someone new way before this.

[WhitneySnow]

Don’t worry. He’s gonna cheat on her too. Dont ever sleep with him again. Otherwise, I guess just leave him alone.

[DrPepper12]

Fuck him. Don't let him manipulate you anymore. The best way to do that? Move on yourself. He's toxic.

[Asker]

I need to be able to talk to him. Or give my last words. I’ve been so depressed these last few days and can’t seem to snap out of it. He even told me when we had sex I was just another nut and stay the fuck out of his life. Please help me write my last message to him 😢

[DrPepper12]

No. YOU write it out. YOU tuck it away. YOU read it when you are still grieving for what was. YOU burn it when you are no longer grieving. Trust me.

[FuqUFggt]

Because you were very nasty. Study how to treat a man amd be thankful it was so fast because you may still be young. 26 and younger and you might have a chance at love again. If you are older get a cat. They are awful bit so are you

[Fireguy17]

Probably because he was over it for a while before he left and might have had someone already lined up.

[stratford]

He is using you. You shoudl work hard to detach your emotions from him, otherwise he will ruin your life.

[EddieWinehouse]

Because he is clever. and you should do too.

we live once

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

He quit loving you. People certainly change over time.

[Raaj4you]

Bcoz he wants to find a new girl to create a family.

[RedInnocent69]

Was probably cheating on you well before the divorce. Sounds like an ass. Sorry. Hugs.

[Twalli]

How do you know he's going to he a better man with her than he was with you.

[Anonymous]

We are only getting your side of the story. I bet his is a lot different then yours.