Is hypergamy healthy or toxic for society? Should it be embraced or challenged?

[HawkPerception]

Hypergamy is the social practice or tendency of dating or marrying someone who has more wealth, a higher social status, or a better education than you. Often called "marrying up", it has roots in traditional history and modern social studies.

[Chazmatazz269]

Hypergamy is neither good nor bad intrinsically.
Like most things, it’s how people use it that matters.
Financial challenges are frequently listed in leading causes of divorce. “Marrying up” can take that particular challenge off the list. However, if you’re only marrying for the money and/or status, then you’re probably more likely to cheat. Infidelity is also a leading cause of divorce.
Divorce rates are higher because literally half of the population is incentivized to divorce. Between that and the fact that too few couples take an appropriate amount of time to get meaningfully acquainted and vet each other before declaring their “undying love” and jumping into a series of commitments that they’re wholly unprepared for, it actually surprises me that only half of all marriages end in divorce.
Love isn’t enough. It never has been. There is supposed to be a great deal of work that goes into getting acquainted, courting, committing and maintaining the underlying commitment. Pretending otherwise is detrimental 100% of the time.

[RavVid]

It is clearly toxic if 60% of women want 10% of men and aren't happy with less. It clearly doesn't give a stable basis for society.

Most of the women going for those men might obtain sex with them but not a relationship, Even if society embraced polygamy it wouldn't happen. Ultimately those women are going to be disappointed in life.

[RavVid]

Thanks for a mho

[thegreenyogi]

Considering how many are unhappy I think it should be seriously challenged. Sure it does have its advantages and sometimes the person you marry up to can be your person but I don't beleive in marrying up to someone and sacrificing my own personal happiness just for the sake of acquiring status. The image might be ideal but reality is very different. We only have one life and I don't think taking decisions based on all that makes us insecure is the best policy. Nobody honestly cares anyway if your rich and have a husband or wife who's financial portfolio is through the roof. However you care about you and whatever you do you do it for yourself and if you want to live a life without stress and pressure and imprisonment marrying up for the sake of wealth is not the best choice.

[Zack-Bann]

What would challenging it even mean?


It’s people’s personal freedom that leads them down that path.


To challenge hypergamy is to challenge someone’s ability to chose a partner.


Basically saying
“Lower class people should marry amongst themselves and so should upper class people”


It’s backwards.


And the root cause people’s intrinsic values.


If they were raised to respect money and status about personality and substance, then that’s what they will seek.


That’s why hypergamy is more common in cities, the biggest they are the worse it is.


If you go to a small rural town you’ll notice how people select spouses based on personal attraction before considering lifestyle.


But on the other hand, it’s also a survival mechanism to seek resources and prosperity.
If you wish to procreate you would rather have enough to provide for your kids.


So on a marginal level there’s merit to turning down those are completely unproductive in society.

[Just_Ken]

Just natural. Women always have to go for a man they see as better than themselves. Its why you see many career women struggling to marry in their 30s. Any guy on their level is already taken or looking to date younger.

[NathanDavis]

for someone to "marry up" someone has to accept to "marry down"

if you changed that... people would choose to marry down, but someone still has to accept to go up

now, the transfers of generational wealth have certainly caused a whole lot of damage to most of the population... which is why the elite has married itself for centuries

[slatyb]

Hypergamy was rooted in the suppression of women's ambition. When women could be secretaries, teachers, and nurses, of course they married up. Now women can be corporate executives, engineers, scientists, and doctors and they seek to marry equals.

[Chayce]

It just is what it is. Perhaps it shows men that in this one life, you should strive to be the best person you possibly can be.

[Alex-Snow]

I do not think it will happen to me. Just because someone marries up so-to-speak does not mean they will be happier.

[Shy_Steve]

That is what society is now.

So do you think it is good for society or could society be better?

[askingandreplying]

It is what it is you must not force to evolution

[Cidknee]

Live and let live.

[HawkPerception]

I used to say that in the past because it sounded like a cool and peaceful thing to say, but now I hate it. Think about this. Some people in the world are indoctrinating their kids to hate people for no logical reasons. Or to kill people. Or practicing barbaric traditions. I will not just be a bystander when it comes to those kinds of people.

[Cidknee]

What do you do about it?

[HawkPerception]

Be proactive speaking out against it. Fight against it if I see it happen in person. The world can only be a better place if people actively take part to go against unjust actions.