Do you think Hypergamy is true among women?

Question

Hypergamy is the act or practice of marrying a spouse of higher caste or status than oneself.

The term is often used more specifically in reference to a perceived tendency among human cultures for females to seek or be encouraged to pursue male suitors that are higher status than themselves, which often manifests itself as being attracted to men who are comparatively older, wealthier or otherwise more privileged than themselves or their current partners.

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So what do you think do many women practice this?

GingerStarlite · Accepted Answer

Interesting question. Well, someone I really respect once told me, and others we know, including guys, that we should "marry up," as in, marry someone better than yourself, although he didn't necessarily have wealth or status in mind. And I think it's a good idea. I would like to marry someone that I not only love, but admire and respect and strive to be like because they have traits that I do not. I want to find someone so amazing, that I cannot even believe that they would want to be with someone like me, because they will push me to be a better person.

I personally don't put too much weight into age or wealth or social status or anything like that, but other women still might. They will not turn down a man that they love because he does not have a ton of money or isn't old or privileged enough. But seriously now, how many times do we hear girls fantasizing about how ideally they'll marry a wealthy doctor and live in a fancy house and not have to worry again for the rest of their lives? I know quite a few people who have, and I have even let myself daydream of marrying a rich man and living wonderfully. Who wouldn't want the security that would come along with such a man?

So I think the idea is still there in the back of women's minds, but today's young women have also been taught to be independent, that they can have it all, a great career, a family, everything. Today's women might not need to marry a man of a higher social class than herself because she can attain that without him.

Ultimately I think it still could be practiced, especially by underprivileged women, but I don't think it is as prevalent as it may have been in the past.

washize · Accepted Answer

Even if this was something that applied to Female sexuality as a WHOLE collective I think its funny how the women who do feel this way are constantly attacked.

In the animal kingdom females are extremely picky and will only Have sex with the males that they want to. They mate with MULTIPLE males to ensure the genetic diversity of their offspring.

However in humans this is "shamed" and looked down upon.

But Male sexuality, As in only wanting women for sex, and wanting to spread his "Seed" is so widely accepted as "just the way things are".

IF a female isn't attracted to a male she won't choose him, IT doesn't matter how many "Shiny" rocks he has. Even in the animal kingdom females have their own preferences.

Males who loose fights or are upstaged during peacocking still get a chance to mate with females.

why-makoto-kun · Accepted Answer

Lots of men on this site claim that wanting to support yourself and wanting a man who supports himself (not taking each others' money) is "hypergamy." So, if you make it clear that you aren't hypergamous, you will get accused of it on GAG, lol. God forbid women want guys to have a job and not be man-children.

It still exists today, and it definitely was something that happened a lot in history, but I think it's pretty rare for women who make their own living and don't come from a lot of money.

Confucius16 · Accepted Answer

That is generalizing. I'm sure a small percentage of women want someone of a higher status, but that doesn't mean that all women are after older, wealthy men.

There is no caste or status in a marriage. It is you conduct and behavior (listening skills, respect, consideration for others) that determines how good a person you are. Of course, there is always going to be one person in a relationship that earns more money. It will never be 50-50. That doesn't always mean that one person is looking for money, just because he or she happens to be with someone that earns more money.

And get this. Until recently (In the US, but not in developing countries), men where the breadwinners. They earned money while the women stayed at home. Men earned much more than women, so where would you have found a woman that earned as much or more than a man? That was when the word "hypergamy" was created.

True, there are gold diggers, but that does not mean that all women are like that. And women do want to make sure that their kids have a stable and financially backed life.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes. Very few women seem to be willing to marry down. I know women complain that it is just men, that are insecure, and perhaps, there is some truth to that. However that does not mean that a large number of women don't have a problem with marrying down. These women are so picky they tend to stay in the dating pool forever, causing more and more men, to just give up on the more successful women.

It is just like how most women prefer tall guys. Lots of women actually require a man to be at least a certain height, before they will even consider him. Even some of the tallest women in the world, can not accept a man that is even a little shorter than herself. These women would rather remain alone, over dating a guy shorter than themselves. Short guys soon learn not to even bother asking a tall women out. Even most short guys, would rather be with a woman a little taller than himself, over remaining alone.

I know it isn't what women want to hear, but we can find women that are willing to admit to it, so hypergamy is real, to some extent at least.

TedStar · Answer

It is true and anyone who denies it is over simplifying this situation. Girls are always dating up most of the time. It doesn't mean that they all want the cream, but at least someone better. It is really selfish. Because in order for them to date someone better requires a guy to be dating down. Honestly I look at many couples and it seems like the guy is trading wealth status, power and looks for his girls looks. I wish hypergamy wasn't real, but how many women honestly date below and how many guys date above

Sekrett · Answer

No kidding. Women don't care about older, taller, stronger BUT wealthier. The size matters, size of the wallet that is, and its nothing new. All women getting a chance would do it. If there was a choice between an attractive guy or an average looking guy but rich. Who do you think women will pick? The rich guy. Women simply love money. Ask guys who started making good money how easy it was to get girls.

Current example Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods cheated on his ex wife with string of many women, I read somewhere no being 18 women. He maybe the best gold player but looks like an ogre. Yet despite all that Lindsey Vonn is dating him. You think she is dating him for his good looks?

backagainagain · Answer

I am sure it is true for some but none of my friends have ever done it and neither have I. I have been pursued by guys flaunting their money and if they were not douche bags and I was physically attracted to them then I would go for it but it would have nothing to do with the money. These guys were all either douchy or unattractive to me or both.

I don't think it is as common as most guys think.

beastman88 · Answer

i can't speak for all women but id say there are a lot of maneating, gold diggers out there. there are also decent women out there who aren't materialistic. finance does play a major part in any relationship. its the main reason the divorce rate is so high. to deny that is completely ignorant. it can certainly be disheartening to a man who has average looks and average job to get shot down constantly because of his status or job.

PhilKenSebben · Answer

you're still a little young for hypergamy, but in another three years, you'll start to only want a tall guy with a better job than you who has more wealth than you, who can "excite" you or whatever other verb you'll use instead of "spend resources on you" and you'll feel that no man who earns less than you is a real man or else he'd earn more than you, even though society is bending over backwards to just hand women money for a job title rather than an accomplishment.

Anonymous · Answer

For the most part I believe so but not always true. I myself am an example of the latter when I met my husband we were of the same socioeconomic status, he then lost his job and I became the sole provider for about two years while he looked for a good job, we got married in a court house, he then got a job that payed more than before he lost his original one. Three years later we have kids and I stay home with them. We believe that we should both be the supporting one at some point.

Anonymous · Answer

Stereotypically, yeah. And in some cases that's true in real life. Moreso back before women took control of their own lives.

Now? Of all the college educated women I knew with professional careers, most were married to men with high school educations only (or less) that bounced from one entry level job to another - if they worked at all.

MichaelL · Answer

If a girl is looking for financial stability from both then that's OK. But if she wants a man who makes more and doesn't pay mind to the guys other qualities then she's a bitch. Probably shallow too. Would a guy whose looking for a genuine love go for this type? I sure as hell wouldn't.  Other than a one night stand.

Anonymous · Answer

Think? I know. Women marry up. We are programmed to. The only people that don't get it are immature guys that think all women are gold diggers like that guy who posted all those money questions. Women want a guy who's older, taller, stronger and richer than her. Hypergamy means security really.

WoIIie · Answer

Yes, most women are hypergamous because most women dream of staying at home and being financially supported by a man.

GoldenDragon · Answer

Only those who live in denial or are delusional would think otherwise. Humans are still wired up that way from our evolutionary past.

kheserthorpe · Answer

Women marry up in terms of status and men marry up in terms of looks.

Prof_Don · Answer

I feel just about every woman would do this if they are capable to do so. I don't think ANY women in the USA "marry down".

Anonymous · Answer

Without question, Women are power and money motivated.

Vandal · Answer

Yep. Pretty viable mating strategy for them, considering they're the ones who get pregnant.

Anonymous · Answer

Hypergamy is just the act of a woman marrying up so yes I definitely think women do.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course it is.  Duh...

Anonymous · Answer

That's true for the most part of the world.

Anonymous · Answer

Talk about some cheap Hos

CT_CD · Answer

Yeah

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