Should attraction feel effortless instead of hard and miserable?

[jennifer_bloom]

I believe attraction should either be effortless or moderately easy, counting calories is fine, but if you are eating a starvation diet or trying so hard to attract men that you are miserable everyday, then you are in a relationship with the wrong person or trying to attract people the wrong way. You should never be so desperate to attract an uncommitted person that it interferes with your happiness.

[samael_kmarty]

It depends.
When I putting in effort in a friendship, it's ruined as people think I am about to take advantage of them. And mostly with girls it's like that.
Men having attraction is looked down upon in women's eyes if it's on them. Especially when it comes to themselves.

[Tommy442]

Attraction itself usually feels effortless at the beginning—that natural pull, curiosity, and excitement. You don’t have to force yourself to like the person; it just happens.