Why are men's mothers bitchier to their son's SO while women's mothers are nice to their daughter's SO?

[LittleSally]

In general this is usually the case.

- when someone has a problem with their SO's parents, not in general all the time always...

[KayLannister]

1) Mothers are naturally more protective of there sons psychologically speaking. This is because Sons in general are more independant and there independence sky rockets when marriage comes along. This makes mummy worried and insecure that there Son has more of a allegiance to the wifey then there mother. How often do you see Guys and mums having a nice chat over coffee and Guys confessing all there problems? Whereas even in the media they show daughters who treat there mums as freinds and are expressive about everything. In other words mothers know the juicy details of there daughters relationship and all the fights whereas there sons keep it cool to prevent drama and they only tell there mates.
2) Mothers know how women think. Generally speaking Guys are more oblivious to there wifes flaws whereas there mother can scrutinize and identify faults linking to her protectiveness. Mothers know women can be conniving and manipulative and therefore feel the need to show there Sons wife she is a bitch sometimes.
3) Think of it like this when a group of people are talking and whispering and then go quiet when u come along how does it make you feel? This is exactly what mothers feel about there sons and the mother starts to think the worse of his spouse because it must be her that is linked to this some way.

[Frost_Byt3]

Everyone knows that sons usually develope a stronger bond with their moms than their dads. And that daughers usually develope a stronger bond with their dads than their moms. The parent who has a stronger bond with their child is more protective, while the other parent is indifferent. But that's why the GF's dad gives the boyfriend death threats brandishing his shotgun, and why the BF's mom is a complete bitch to the girlfriend. While the GF's mom is just like "you two have fun ^_^" and the BF's dad is like "she's hot. Way to go son!".

[MaskedSanity]

I'm so glad my relationship has none if this bullshit.

Neither parents of ours bitch and it's great. I get on very well with his mom, she's down to earth and doesn't fuss about anything.

She even makes jokes when she comes over or calls, poking him with her elbow: "Wow, she hasn't left you yet, huh." and it's all in good humour.

[LittleSally]

Those are the best kind of parents. =)

[Minxxie]

My boyfriend's mom loves me! She's a bit shy though but she always invites me to family stuff they do or even just for dinner and always says they don't get to see enough of me. So even though she's shy she still lets me know I'm welcome and she considers me when planning family outings and things.

[ixi10]

Omg I just realized after reading this question that is totally is true! I think maybe because guys' moms are viewing the other female in their son's life as competition almost

[LittleSally]

God! Maybe... but that's messed up! O. o

[evenlift]

This.

[ixi10]

I know :( but some women are so bitchy

[zombiebabe]

i think that's true

[Ozanne]

This is very true. My own mother in law is quite jealous of me in every way. Her son has made it clear he prefers my cooking, prefers how I keep a house, and everything else. When we go to their house he can't wait to leave, now realizing how messy and dirty she is. So for a woman like that, to go her whole life thinking how she is was normal and her son had no issue with it - now to suddenly prefer another woman is probably a real dig at her as a woman. She hates everything I do and everything I am about because she thinks I took her son away from her. She doesn't even get that he'd never even go there if I didn't push for visits. Women just get jealous, even if their relationship with a guy is non-sexual (in this case, mother and son), they hate competition, and hate finding out that another woman is preferred.

[Prettygurl12]

Thought this was obvious?

Men hate the SOs of their daughters because it's a man coming in to take his place as the important male figure in the girl's life.

Women hate the SOs of their sons because it's a woman coming in to take her place as the important female figure in the guy's life.

Men like the SOs of their sons because she's not coming to take his place.

Women like the SOs of their daughters because he's not coming to take her place.

It's simple family-social politics.

[LittleSally]

I've very rarely seen men hating their daughter's husbands. Much more often it happens than the mothers hate their daughters in law.

[Prettygurl12]

Women are much more catty - or did you not experience this in school/the workplace?

Men are much quieter about their opinions of others.

[Kapakani]

That's a great question! I always wondered why mom mother was super bitchy to mine. I personally always said it was jealousy. Despite my mother claiming it wasn't she always used my girlfriend in a negative way in almost every argument. "You wouldn't do this if I was"gf", "I guess I need to be "gf" to have you forgive me so easily". Just stuff like that. Great question tho.

[Hans222]

Haha who knows, maybe if her mom would be so protective there would be a riot with the daughter long before the riot with her SO :D
Whereas sons probably just say "yes mom"... "yes mom"... 8)
And than the girl comes and grabs the attention of her son and... oh my goodness here's house war 3 :o :o

[LittleSally]

Yeah. Makes sense somehow.

[zombiebabe]

damn :O

[Hans222]

Haha @zombiebabe... is my opinion shocking to my Mauritian friend? :o

[zombiebabe]

nope but its pretty accurate

[Hans222]

@zombiebabe I'm starting to get it... so you're the one protecting your SO from mom's intervention?
Or you're not his mom's favourite?
Oh gosh, I see the potential delicacy :o

[zombiebabe]

lols no no no! its pretty common

[mspiggy1990]

I don't know u have a good question me and my mother in law don't really get along that well at all but she doesn't get along with any of the daughter in laws but mainly me because I speak my mind when I don't like something that is going on however my mother loves my husband so u make a valuable point

[Elises]

Its always like that especially in Asian families. The mother in law kinda hates the daughter in law, it's a whole drama... Don't take much of just be nicer to her and eventually she'll be nice, I have really nice parents in law but yh it happens in families

[MysteriousFlower]

Actually I think it's both ways. However the sons SO will cop it more, because probably the have a closer relationship. Fathers are more likely to be overprotective of their daughters and mothers are protective of their sons. It's just psychology, don't know why that is.

[gapminder]

You are so right! I think that boys get really attached to their moms. But deep down mom knows that one day she will take a back seat to her son's love life. It's got to be tough on a mom. Years after I got married my mom told me that she was always so against my girlfriends initially over fear that one day I wouldn't be around so much anymore. Honestly, she was right I mean once I got married, I stopped being able to attend every get together because I had two families to consider.

[zombiebabe]

i think its because they think that no other woman will be good enough to take care of their son

[normalice]

you're probably in a better position than most to answer this. Just imagine having a son and then imagine how you would treat a girl he brought home. What would cause you to be a bitch to her?

[LittleSally]

I wouldn't be... That's why I ask.

[normalice]

Nothing would set you off?

Hmm... Maybe raising boys makes women mean, then? I don't know...

[bryon]

I would have to say it's because the guy doesn't stand up for his SO , there is prolly other reasons as well but that came to mind first

[zagor]

Because most mom's think no women is good enough for their son.

While for their daughter, they just hope she finds someone who will support her and treat her well.

[zombiebabe]

this makes sense

[ArabianPwincess197]

I think its because they think no girl is good enough for their son. In a mother's eyes their son can do nothing wrong, so they believe he deserves the best. In short they are being overprotective

[Red_Arrow]

My mother never was bitchy to the SOs of any of us boys. And my wife was never bitchy to our son's SO. I have not seen any trend like that with the people I know.

[GirlsLie]

I've always found that to be so creepy lol break the cord already, it's just weird when you act that overly protective of your own son. And it's even more strange when the son allows it as an adult.

[crystalt70]

For the same reason men don't generally approve of the men their daughters date. They don't believe that person is good enough for their child.

[GreatnessPersonified]

Fathers of daughters are harsh to daughter's SO, even to the point of threatening their lives. Fathers of sons are nicer to the SO.

It's just how it is.

[ovodm]

In some cases the mother may feel threatened by the son's SO if she feels like the SO is "taking her place" as the leading woman in his life

[evenlift]

Indeed. It's pathetic.

[xXiTacoXx]

Because as women they know those other bitches out there are harpies. *Puts monies in la swear jar.* xD

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Thats a good question, i think the mans mother is sad about losing her son to another woman whereas the girls mother is just hoping for the best and respects her daughters decision.

[OrdinaryLady]

Because they're nuts or think no one is worth their son. lol My mom is super nice to my brothers wife.

[KiwiKiwiKiwi]

I don't know, sometimes I feel like all women hate other women. Most women, not all of them.

[takumii]

Because from personal experience women's mom knows how hard it is to find a good guy, and from personal experience man's mom knows how money hungry bitches women can be.

[bubbletrouble]

Its the exact opposite with dads. People dont want to be replaced by a new woman/man. Sounds asinine but Freud once talked about this. I see it played out on TV often.

[cinderelli]

because women are nice to men in general.. but women are not nice to women..

[Drooogie4]

It's exactly the other way around for me.