Guy friend I was considering dating did not walk me home late at night after hanging out... I dont want to date him now-make sense?

[Anonymous]

i was dangerously attacked by a paranoid psychopath-clinically- a month ago. im still a bit tense out at night alone. i make a point of either walking with friends or not going out late. i dont plan on this forever i used to be out by myself all the time, its just for now.

anyhow i was at my friends later than i intended, i like him and he likes me but we are not yet dating, i was considering it.. he didn't want to walk me home (just 15 blocks) nor did he want me staying over.

this made me decide i dont want to date him. do you think this is enough to base my decision on.. id have walked him back if situation was reversed, by the way.

yeah forget him.

not enough to go on.

other.

[NexAngelus]

yaaaa um why the fuck would u NOT walk a chick hoome? even a friend. regardless of what the media wants to say, chicks are not our equals. i would make sure a friend has a way home. even when i drop a female friend or girlfriend off, i stay to make sure she gets INTO her house. especially if u were attacked recently, i have no idea why this friend, potential date would not of found some way to get u home if he did not want to walk u home himself. i think this talks greatly of his character, and his huge lack of care for u and ur wellbeing. i think u should want nothing to do with him even as a friend. i would be totally pissed if i was u. if he knew about the attack, i dont even think u need to tell him why u are not going to be friends anymore, it should be fucking obvious. by the way i would get a gun or something strong, def not mace, it does not work well enough, and stun guns take up a lot of room for the strong ones. small gun is ur best bet. and start going to a gun range once a month or something to practice so u know how to use it. it will make u feel safer and next time u are attacked... if it ever happens, well, that person will pay for it.

[Asker]

well i dont usually have a person walk me but i thin if any friend requested it itd be the decent thing to do.

I do have a work knife. it comes out easily by pressing the wheel.. id worry about a gun going off.

thanks for answering :)

[NexAngelus]

thats why u go to practice with it ;) u learn to use it and understand guns. then u won't be afraid of a gun or guns in general. a knife is one of the worst things because its one of the most likely things to be taken from u and used against u. that sounds fun right? getting stabbed with ur own weapon... probably not. u dont want to enter into a brute force fight with anyone as a chick. u are most likely going to lose.

[Asker]

I didn't lose with the last attack, i'm alive he's in a psychiatric ward.

[Asker]

i'm not saying knives are the best weapon i was jut responding to your assumption women can't fight. no one was there to help me. i fought him myself --while he was trying to kill me.

as for the knife i like it bc its also functional not just a weapon so it does not draw attention.

[NexAngelus]

dont u have a purse? a small gun can be put into a wallet case. put the wallet case in the purse.

in a fight there is more than just a victor and loser. its clear u are not the victor since it bothers u so. if u were the victor u would of walked away unscathed. im not trying to degrade u im just trying to point out facts of reality so u can protect urself better in the future.

the fact is still a gun is the strongest deterant to a fight, and ur best chance to survive as the smallest person in the fight. other options are u giving up ur advantage. also as i assume u are aware now, entering into these fights for ur life is going to leave a scar on u most likely as well. so see win or lose, u are taking damage from these encounters. thats why stoping them outright is the best option.

[10dsw]

I would still consider dating him. That's a pretty silly reason to cross someone off.

Apathy amongst men is normal nowadays because in many cases, showing that you care about girls bores them.

[Asker]

i would not even do that to a friend, its just a decent thing to do. i think its really bad behavior and i shouldn't encourage it. also i don't get bored by courteousness. he ought to know me well enough to know that.

anyhow thanks for answering. :)

[10dsw]

I agree. It's a great thing to do.

Here's something to think about though. I was reading an article in my newspaper the other day: "How to be more attractive to women: be like Donald Trump". I don't think Donald Trump would walk anyone home

[10dsw]

So to be honest he's just a product of current society

[Asker]

perhaps burt then there is free will.

anyhow i'm not 'mad' at him i'm just being critical to avoid a useless situation. he is usually nice. so if he is willing to be a jerk to appear attractive, he's not for me. i like genuine people. :)

[10dsw]

I understand and fully agree. Genuine people are VERY hard to find nowadays

[Asker]

very true :)

[Izumiblu]

i think thats actually pretty reasonable what you are saying. I mean, forget about boyfriend, what kind of friend even does that? That's rude and inconsiderate and given you aren't even in a relationship yet best not to pursue it cuz you already know what you are going to get.

[Izumiblu]

I would not do that to a friend or family member, i would make sure that they get home safely, if i couldnt do it myself i would get a cab or id find some way. For a person you are dating, that is a minimum bar to hit.

[Asker]

yeah i wouldn't do that to a friend, as i mentioned in the past. he can have many reasons for not wanting to but fact of the matter he would not do it. i don't think it bodes well.

thanks for answering :)

[Anonymous]

Yea, it's pretty standard for a guy to do that. Like normal friends do it, let alone potential boyfriend/date

[DodgersGM]

In general, women like feeling protected by their man.

It makes sense that you'd be disappointed by this situation.

[Asker]

its not bc he's a man. i think any friend should be willing to do something like that. it does make me lose attraction but bc of the lack of integrity., if a guy friend had asked the same and he refused id also lose attraction.

thanks for answering :)

[DodgersGM]

I hear ya. I do think it's common courtesy, whether it's a friend or whatever. But it's even more important if it's a boyfriend or romantic interest. That's my take, anyway. :)

[Asker]

i suppose id feel stranger if we were dating and he refused. but id also feel weird about my feeling weird about it ;p

[Joshuafirestar]

The thing is, just because he didn't walk you home doesn't mean he doesn't care. There are several legitimate reasons why he might not have. Basically what I'm saying is don't let this ONE experience cripple your relationship

[Joshuafirestar]

The fact that he doesn't walk you home might be related to his own problems at home. That's probably the reason

[Asker]

like what , out of curiosity. i can't really think of anything. unless he suddenly had to poop. thats possible. and definitely wouldn't expect him to tell me that ;)

[Joshuafirestar]

I'm talking about his family, homework, etc.

[Asker]

he doesn't live with his family. a roommate who is not home at the time. i was already there we were just watching a movie , then we were talking and i stayed longer than i meant to. thats all. :)

[Maik567]

I read what you wrote in other messages and tbh it doesn't seem like he's that interested in you. I mean if he was then obviously he would let you stay on his couch or walk you home.

[peachblossomluck]

That's an obvious red flag and he's not into you.

[Asker]

he's into me. that not what i'm asking.

[Asker]

what i mean is if he was madly in love with me but did this, id still lose interest. not bc it suggests he's not into me but bc on its own its not decent.

[peachblossomluck]

I totally agree, not decent, low class♡

[AleDeEurope]

Pfff sounds like he dodged a bullet ;)

[Asker]

him? why him?

[Toad-1]

Did you ask him to walk you home?

[Asker]

yeah i asked if he'd mind to walk me or if he didn't feel like it i could stay on his couch. he made a really weird face like he was really uncomfortable with it, almost freaking out, so i just said forget it. he asked if i was sure, i said yeah. he asked if id be ok, i said yeah. it was so fake bc he could have just said ok sure.

[Toad-1]

ehhh i would look at that as he doesn't like you like that

[Asker]

maybe yes maybe no , its not really the main issue for me.

[Toad-1]

so then yes move on