I'm 18 year old & my parents say I can't date, any advice on how to talk to them?

[Anonymous]

When my mom was 18 she got pregnant and had my older sister so for years as the youngest of 3 children my parents have delayed me dating because they don't want me to get pregnant (or have sex probably.too late). Of course I still dated but w/o permission. Now that I'm 18 I have a boyfriend and they won't let me go out with him unless I have a chaperone & that's embarrassing. I just finished my 1st year of college and can do reckless things when I'm away which I don't. Can anyone give me some advice.

Sincerely,

A sad girlfriend who might lose her man if her parents don't stop treating her like she's 13.

[Hobolicious]

Hmm. I actually had this exact same problem! I'm 15 and I have extremely strict asian parents. Yes, the typical asian parents who won't let you date until your about 20. -sigh- I brought up the topic of having a boyfriend actually over a 1 week period. I just straight up asked her when can I have a boyfriend. And, as usual she would answer with 20 years old. But then I replied to her that I think I'm ready and she should stop treating me like an eight year old. The conversation ended there but we didn't fight. Then I just shooshed her as an excuse to listen to the radio while we were in the car driving to school. A few days later I brought up the topic again saying how mature I actually am. Of course she would disagree, etc. The next day she joked about a friend's daughter who hasn't had a boyfriend yet and she's 25! I told her I'll end up like that if she keeps trying to protect from the big bad world. Which I should learn from my mistakes earlier than later. Next week later. Then I told her about my friend who is having boyfriend problems because her boyfriend is hitting on other chicks behind her back and she found out. Strangely, I told my mum how boys are so dumb sometimes and then brought up the subject again how I have so much sense than that. And how maturely I can see if a guy is using someone or whatever. Then she agreed that I can have a boyfriend. On conditions though which I will not follow. Shh!

I know this may all seem just jiberish to you but yea. Basically, just jokingly mention about the boyfriend topic and talk to her. You may have to talk to her a few times until she gets the idea that your ready.

x

[silhouette]

Ouch! I am sorry. Well, I take it that you live at home with them? In the dorms, apartment, or home it is your life. Now at home your parents do have the authority over you while you are living there and you can make your argument and that is about it. Outside of the home if you don't live at home. You need to make it clear that it is you decision and that you have made your own personal convictions to not make the mistakes your mother did and that the relationships you enter won't lead to those ends. Now at home or out you still need to sit down and have a chat with your parents. You need to state your feelings telling them that they are becoming over protective and paranoid and that you have your strong convictions and they people you decide to date or are dating have those too. You may also choose to state that they are confining your social life and adding stress and frustration to your life.

In a perfect world.move out.lol sorry.

You can try inviting your boyfriend over for dinner and introduce him to your parents as a friend. Hopefully they will like him. Have dates at your house.I know awkward at times but you parents could soon learn to trust you two alone. Trust is the issue in you relationship with your parents. Not to say you have done things in the past to damage their trust but the damage in their lives has caused them to be be critical and not trustworthy towards you.

Those are my ideas and I hope you have the best of luck!

[TheTaxMan]

You need to have a sit down with them and tell them your 18. Tell them that your not a little girl anymore and you can be responsible for your actions. But if that doesn't work, you could try to use the purity ring trick. Wear one and fool them into then thinking you took the oath.