My girlfriend says she wants a break after 3 years?

[slammin19]

I've been with the love of my life for 3 years...no problems...no fights...just love all the time. then out of the blue she tell me she doesn't think our relationship is healthy for her anymore and she needs space...i live 100 miles away from her and I only see her on weekends so there's already plenty of space between us... but she said I've become to dependent on her love and she's worried about that...she said she still loves me but she's not sure she wants to be with me anymore...i was completely destroyed and didn't eat or sleep for 3-4 days...she said she wants me to forget about her for now (no calls, texts, nothing), live my life and do things for me...the problem is all I can think about is how bad I want her back and how much this is killing me...seriously EVERYTHING reminds me of her...i know she's not doing this to date other people...but I've talked to her everyday for 3 years and don't know any better :(...its been a little over a week since this all happened...i talked to her friends the other day and they said she's acting like her normal happy self and there's nothing bothering her at all...as for me its a struggle just to get up in the morning...I'm so confused as of how we went from 3 years of perfect love (I was her first everything) to this... I'm willing to wait and give her the space she needs until she figures stuff out...but I feel like everyday I don't talk to her is another day closer to her calling me and saying she's happier without me and I'm scared to death I'm gonna lose the love of my life...any advice helps :,( thanks

[katherrrrine545]

That is extremely difficult from going to talking to someone everyday to not talking to someone at all. Honestly, I have no idea why she is doing what she is doing, I am not her. But, what I can say is maybe

1) There is something going on that you are unaware of that is causing her to do this

2) She is scared because you have become dependent on her love and feels trapped

3) She wants time to figure this all out and figure out if you are really the one for her

About what her friends are saying that she is acting her normal self, I highly doubt that. She may be showing and acting like her normal self but, I can guarantee you deep inside she is hurting. She can't go from loving you for three years to not talking to you at all and not loving you anymore, that is completely irrational. I am also confused, just like you why she is doing this, she has no reasoning that we are both aware of. My advice though, not much advice you can give though is to just give her the space she has asked for and respect it. By calling her,texting her etc you will be making it worse. She will realize if you give her time that she might need you. You don't realize how much you need someone until they are gone. I know it is extremely hard for you but, think positively as hard as that sounds really try to. Go out and do something to get your mind off of her, also easier said then done. Giving her and yourself time, things will get easier and better. Good luck.

[slammin19]

Thanks....im like a big puppy....i love loving people all the time especialy her....and now after this happend I feel like its the end of the world and I know I shouldnt....ive been trying my best to keep my mind off everything but nothing helps....i asked her the day she did this "are you sure this is what you want?" and she said "i don't know....ive never had to do this before but I feel like this is the best thing for me right now".....it sucks cause we have a lot of the same friends as well

[katherrrrine545]

What your feeling is completely normal. She said to you she isn't even sure if she wants to do this. She will realize how much she needs you. But, respect her space and show her that you haven't become dependent on her love.

[slammin19]

Thats the best advice I've gotton so far....thank you :)

[katherrrrine545]

No problem! If you need anymore just ask

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry for your heartbreak, I know how it feels. One thing I can tell you is: you can be certain that things did not go overnight form " 3 years of perfect love (I was her first everything) to this...". Even if you lived together, you could overlook things, and especially given you see her only on weekends for 3 years - there could be a lot you don't know about her. You can't make her stay with you, and if she ultimately decides she's happier without you, it's probably for the best.

[slammin19]

Well, she comes from a middle upper class family...and I dont, so her parents are always looking out for her and they always judge me cause I had a career and dropped it after a semester cause it wasn't what I wanted to do, it really broke her heart and I let her down cause she told her parents I had a great career, and then dropped it, but now I just started presueing a career that I love, another thing is I kept turning down good jobs cause they wanted me to work weekends, she didn't like that.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I could see her parents influencing her decisions a bit. Another thing is - you say you had no fights for 3 years, but you only saw each other on weekends. When you see someone on daily basis, not to mention when you live with them, things are different. You are bound to have arguments sometimes. My point is that you possibly don't know her character as well as you would have known it if you were seeing more of each other. Regardless, I hope it works out for you

[kkzj123]

Its ok... let this be a learning lesson. Never depend on someone else for your happiness. take this time and focus on you...If you have to cry... go ahead and cry...You thought it was perfect but she may not have felt that way. The best thing you can do is disappear - no contact for maybe 6 months and she will find you. Go date other women and have fun...

[slammin19]

I have had a lot of other girls hit me up lately and want to hang out....but she made it clear were just on a brake....not broken up....so I do still feel like I have a responsibility to take care of and not lost myself....ive taken her out of my mind....but not out of my heart....and its been working but there's still those bad moments, ya know?